OK, one more...

Big Time: First Bird -- Part II.

Rove: We'll talk about that when you come in.

Cheney: I can't do that Karl.

Rove: Look Dick, we can't have you running around out there killing friendly civilians.

Cheney: There are no friendly civilians!

Rove: But I'm your friend Dick! I’m a chickenhawk, just like you. I was there with you knee-deep in all that Swiftboating bullshit. I lied your ass out of jail than once. Seems like baling you people of trouble's got to be a life-time achievement for me.

Cheney: There wouldn't be no trouble except for that king shit Prosecutor! All I wanted was absolute power. Torture who I wanted, when I wanted. Out some CIA bitch if I saw fit. Je-sus, I’m Dick Fucking Cheney! I’m a God. But Fitzgerald kept pushing.

Rove: Well you did some pushing on your own Dick.

Cheney: The quail drew first blood, not me.

Rove: Look Dick, let me come in and spin this for you. If I can put a gutless, AWOL sock puppet back in the White House over a decorated war vet, I can spin you into a hero for this!

Cheney: The quail drew first blood...

Rove: Dick, are you still reading me? Cheney! I can make you a fucking hero! Acknowledge!

…

And then, one week later, the following story appears in the Wall Street Journal...

Vice President Foils Avian Flu Terrorist Plot

(Fictitious) Disassociated Press, February 20, 2006.

Top White House officials announced today that a shooting incident involving Vice President Dick Cheney had, in fact, been part of a larger plot to foil the plans of an Al Qaeda sleeper cell to release Avian-flu-infected quail into the United States.

Speaking to reporters, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said, “Acting on a tip obtained through the highly effective and entirely legal and patriotic Warrantless Spying Only On Bad People program, the NSA uncovered the "Dirty Bird" plot only a few weeks ago.

“In his signature style, the Vice President acted quickly and without regard to his own safety, and armed with only a shotgun, rushed to the source of the dastardly terrorist attack to defend the country.

“The White House of course regrets any collateral injuries that occurred during the pitched battle; the Global Struggle Against Terrorism is not without its innocent victims.

“The White House also deplores the mockery made by the Liberal press of this act of personal heroism, which was in the finest tradition of other great American patriots such as Roger Young and Audie Murphy. It just goes to show, yet again, that Liberals do not take the defense of America seriously.”

When asked by reporters how he could be so “completely full of shit and still draw breath”, McClellan replied, “Why do you hate America?”

When asked if there were any other ridiculously improbable terrorist plots that he could “leak” to stave off further erosion of already nonexistent Administration credibility, McClellan said this.

“Without revealing sources and methods, in addition to the ‘Dirty Bird’ attacks, I can say that last month another terrorist plot was discovered operating out of an American-based front company called “All Boy Magazine” which had targeted key Administration officials and supporters.

“On January 5th of this year, a scheme known only by it’s Al Qaeda code name was foiled.

"Without giving away still-classified details, I can say that the disruption of the so-called ‘Dirty Sanchez’ plot was a major coup for U.S. intelligence services and almost certainly saved countless Republicans from death, injury or mortal embarrassment, including Ken Mehlman, Andrew Sullivan, Jeff Gannon and myself.”