Tuesday, January 03, 2006

A Tyrant Falls.


Jack Abramoff pictured here shortly after his capture.


Let's see...

A treacherous…

Nefarious…

Election juicing…

Back-stabbing…

Taxpayer screwing…

Extorting…

Bribe takin’…

Bribe makin’…

Crime boss and…

Fake-Pious disgrace to Christianity?

Isn’t mentioning that he’s a Republican sort of…redundant?

So longtime habitué of the top spot on America’s Most Wanted List and leader of the GOP “Axis Of Weasels”, Maximum Lobbyist for Life Jack Abramoff showed his true colors and his ass when he agreed to rat out his Republican co-conspirators in a deal reached today in federal court.

Having lived on the run in so-called luxury bunkers and “spider holes” from Washington D.C. to Sugarland, TX to the Marianas Islands, Abramoff (pictured here during happier times)…


…has long been the center of a vast and well-funded conspiracy to destroy the government of the United States at the behest of his Republican Party handlers by rigging elections, bribing public officials and orchestrating the substitution of responsible government lawmakers and statesmen with dozens of right-wing Wahabi Christians, hacks, stooges, corrupt cronies and assorted other radio-controlled pimps, hucksters and dimwits.

Abramoff’s crimes against the political integrity of the United States have long been known, but had, until today, successfully eluded federal custody largely, it is suspected, owing to the fact that he owns more Republican lawmakers outright than Alaska has vacant, gold-plated Ted Stevens Highway Rest Stop’s.

But finally, the Republican Slimelord and Supervillain --


(pictured here in court)
-- has been run to ground and today agreed to sing like Michael Bolton with his balls dry-shaved and slathered in Tiger Balm.

The New York Times picks up the story

G.O.P. Lobbyist Pleads Guilty in Deal With Prosecutors
By ANNE E. KORNBLUT

WASHINGTON, Jan. 3 - Jack Abramoff pleaded guilty to three felony counts in Washington today as part of a settlement with federal prosecutors, ending an intense, months-long negotiation over whether the Republican lobbyist would testify against his former colleagues.

Mr. Abramoff, 46, pleaded guilty to conspiracy, fraud, and tax evasion, setting the stage for prosecutors to begin using him as a cooperating witness against his former business and political colleagues. In exchange, Mr. Abramoff faces a maximum of about 10 years in prison in the Washington case.

The conspiracy charge included Mr. Abramoff's effort to influence at least one member of Congress and a Congressional staff member.


At a news briefing this afternoon, Alice Fisher, an assistant attorney general, said Mr. Abramoff offered up gifts to government officials that included an all-expense paid trip to Scotland "to play golf on a world-famous course, tickets and travel to the Super Bowl in Florida, tickets for concerts and other events in Washington, repeated and regular meals at his upscale restaurant, and campaign contributions."
She said he provided these gifts "with the intent and often with the understanding that his clients would receive the official action they wanted."And, she said, "his actions often produced the official influence that he sought."


Abramoff's legal future. Once a masterful Republican lobbyist with close ties to the former House majority leader, Representative Tom DeLay, Mr. Abramoff earned tens of millions of dollars representing Indian casino interests and farflung entities like the Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas Islands.

Through a complicated web of financial arrangements, he helped funnel donations to his lawmaker friends' and their campaigns, and took members of Congress, mainly the Republicans in power, on lavish trips.


Participants in the case, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the investigation, said Mr. Abramoff had provided a full picture of what evidence he could offer against other suspects.


After more than two years of investigations, prosecutors have developed a list of at least a dozen lawmakers, congressional aides and lobbyists whose work appears suspect and who are now at the core of the case.

Already, prosecutors had a key witness in Mr. Scanlon, once press secretary to Mr. DeLay. When Mr. Scanlon reached a plea agreement last year, it put pressure on Mr. Abramoff to reach his own deal.

Now that Mr. Abramoff has done the same, one person involved in the case said: "When some people hear about this, they will clamor to cut a deal of their own."

Although only mentioned in passing, authorities are still hunting Abramoff’s two sons…

Ree-Day


And De-Lay.


Who, this reporter has been told, should be considered corrupt and extremely Republican.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe the time has come for a "Great Unravelling" of the GOP machine. I dearly hope so.

Anonymous said...

...today agreed to sing like Michael Bolton with his balls dry-shaved and slathered in Tiger Balm.

Damn, drifty, remind me not to get on your bad side. My thighs just involuntarily clenched on reading that sentence quoted above.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how many folks he's actually going to rat out. It's not that I don't trust our gummint to police itself, wait, no, it IS that I don't trust our gummint to police itself.

driftglass said...

chautauqua,
Fingers crossed, but however large this grows, it'll make for a fascinating midterm election year...

Michael,
Same thing happened to me when it popped into my head.

us blues,
I know, but I trust a rodent to act in its own self-interest, and the rest of the rodents to react to protect themselves in a chorus of "It wasn't me it was ____. I got names!". A rattus chain reaction.

Rats are very reliable in their own way ;-)

Anonymous said...

To get the rats - follow the cheese.

Antid Oto said...

Funny you mention that.

Anonymous said...

"...considered corrupt and extremely Republican."

hmmmm, hate to be a literary critic but that was redundant ;)

Anonymous said...

But you have to admit. Abramoff looks spiffy in a hat.

"...and he's gonna take everything, even that sporty little hat. And then he'll most likely shoot you, so you won't tell on him."

- Chili Palmer

Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

I'm told that, in this country, one is innocent until proven guilty.

That said, I'm pretty sure Harry Reid is guilty.

Anonymous said...

Squeal like a pig Jack Boy ! See the light and vomit forth all that you have consumed !!

Many regards Drifty. One possible correction. "Disgrace to Christianty" Well for Republicans - yes certainly but I believe that Abramhoff is jewish and have gleened that while a key operative he was still somewhat suspect by the Christopaths what with the anti-semitism only lightly covered over.

Anonymous said...

Rex Kramer,
I smell extreme heterosexualness eminating from your dangerous 'post'. I didn't realize the Supreme Commander had more than one General. it is, naturally, Duely noted.

Anonymous said...

Mr Kramer, The man is singing like a canary. I dont think there is any doubt about HIS guilt, he has admitted as much. As for Mr Reid you are correct, innocent until proven guilty.

Anonymous said...

Alright, bottom line, who's gonna win on Feb 5?

Super Bowl

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