Biatheletes of the World Arise

Your day has finally come.

Of all the weirdo Olympic sports that have made me shake my head and wonder "Why?", the one at the top of my "I don't get this at all" list is the biathlon.

You ski...then you shoot...then you ski some more.

WTF?

It always seemed so…arbitrary. Specifically, so arbitrarily James Bondish. Like a Cubby Broccoli had somehow slipped onto the event selection committee, gotten everyone drunk, and the next day, viola!

Ski-shootin’!

And after that, the 100-meter breast-stroke in shark-infested waters followed by synchronized pommel horse and parallel bars fencing.

And then a vodka martini (you know which kind), followed by Earth-shaking, allegiance-realigning sex with Honor Blackman.

Unfortunately, this sad old world has at last created a calling for the lonely biathelete …

Snipers, armed skiers help guard Turin Games

By Antonella Ciancio and Sophie HardachWed Jan 25, 3:30 AM ET

Snipers, policemen and armed skiers will watch over the Winter Olympics next month, helped by information from intelligence services around the world, Turin's security chief said in an interview.

Prefect Goffredo Sottile, who is in charge of public security in Turin province, said he met FBI Director Robert Mueller on Tuesday to discuss the situation two weeks before the Games, which will run from February 10-26.

"Of course there will be snipers. There'll be an entire system. All the special police forces will be activated," he said, sitting in an office in the elegant palazzo that housed Italy's first government when Turin was still the capital.

"The times in which we live are the way they are, which is why there's huge attention. In previous Olympics a similar deployment of security forces would have been unthinkable."

Italy, an ally of the United States in the Iraq war, has repeatedly been mentioned as a potential target for a militant Islamist attack.
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