Sunday Mornin’ Coming Down

All Fundies All the Time.

I for one welcome our new Christopath Overlords.

On Fox: Watching the Defectives.

Gary “Oh, I’m Careless the Mexican Hairess” Bauer, President, American Values (and how my flesh crawled typing that title.) Nathan Hecht, Texas Supremo. Senator Lindsey Graham. All about Harriet the Why...

WTF? 7-of-9 is a nominee for the Supreme Court?!

Why wasn't I told? Holy shit, where do I sign up for the GOP?!

Oh...no...Conservatives “have appointed 7-of-9 of the current Supreme Court justices.”

Never mind.

Shit, this is what I get for breaking of the morning fast with Tequil-O’s instead of Boo Berrys.

And damn, 7-of-9 of the Supremes were appointed by Republicans and they’re still pissed and puling about being an aggrieved, oppressed minority? Tell's you everything you need to know about the crybaby White Supremacist base of the GOP.

What a bunch of whiny bitches.

Watching Bill Kristol and Brit Hume trying the take a chunk out of each other’s asses while politely salsa dancing around each other was mildly amusing. Watching Bill Kristol – former enthusiastic spear carrier for J. Danforth Quayle – rubbing his tiny hind legs together and chirping out his distress over the specter of someone being appointed to a High Office who is unfit and unqualified was Big Time Funny.

Then Hume said something interesting. I was in a kind of awe and how Evil Gumby actually blurted this out, obviously caught himself mid-fuckup Brit Hume bragging that “found out” about the judicial activism all by hisself! Just like a Real Reporter! And not just because the White House “released” the bad, activist background of the more flagrantly ultra-right-wingers on Bill Kristol’s wish list.

Hume wants praise and credit for this one time in a million when isn't just sucking off the White House hind teat, thus calling even more attention to what whore of a sewer-pipe he is the other 99.999% of the time.

Kristol biting back, slapping the sneer right off Hume’s mug, that the WH strategy of bashing qualified conservative judges and thinkers to pave the way for the Day of the Locos was insulting and divisive or something to that effect.

On the Timmuh Show!!

Pat Buchanan and Richard Land (Southern Baptist Convention) being interviewed by Punkin’ Haid. Buchanan, “I’m not sure the President even is anti-Abortion.”

Wheeee!

DickLand I could not place right away, but with the Obligatory Baptist hair, Baptist wattle, Baptist twang, Baptist certitude...I didn’t exactly have to wonder what he might be.

So Bauer was on Fox and Land is here.

Why?

Because the Meirs nomination is not about judicial temperament or philosophy...it is about our de facto and soon-to-be-mandatory State Religion: Southern Conservative Fundamentalism. I mean why does DickLand side with Bush and Meirs? Because he “has seen the pain in Bush’s face and the anguish in Bush’s face” when he talks about abortion.

Think about it. The only thing that radically changed in Harriet Meirs’s CV in the last 20 years is the church she attended, which caused the rest of the dominoes to fall. It didn’t make her any smarter. It didn’t empower her to trance-channel Justice Learned Hand, Oliver Wendell Douglas or Arnold the Pig. It’s not just and only because she’s a loyal family retainer; it's that she’s a Fundy.

Shit, you know the White House plan for her is the same as the plan the GOP had for Thomas: shut up and vote how Fat Tony tells you to vote and you get the robe. A court of ciphers and sock-puppets being run by one or two fascists: an overlord who Speaks for God...and obedient ewes who “...submit graciously to the servant leadership of her husband, even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ.”

This is their dream, and Harriet slots right into place: a hand-made hand-maiden of the coming Fundy Theocracy.

And opposition, we are told, has the scent and whiff of “elitism” about it. That’d be Will and Krauthammer, Noonan and Kristol we’re talking about.

Fat Tony Scalia on CNBC tape now on Meet the Press. Feh.

David Broder of Timmuh, alongside Kate O’Beirne (National Review Washington Editor), E.J. Dionne and Ron Brownstein, who raises a good point which I will now masticate and make less polite: The camping/spelunking/photo-safari SCOTUS strategy of “take only photo-ops and don’t even leave footprints” sends a very bad message to law school conservatives who are just now being decanted out of their Yellow Elephant Bell Jars, which is, if you actually stand up and fight on the record for what we say we believe in, you’ll never, ever get the top job.


On This Week...

A dash of Specter and then on to George Will. Robert Reich. Cokie Roberts. Where the White House “elitism” meme is caroming around the studio.

Elitism, by the way, is Bad.

George Will snaps back snappishly -- stretching his neck all the way out of his carapace -- saying well I guess if “elitism is a synonym for excellence” then this is elitist.

Oh, snap!

George has apparently not had his glasses' prescription checked for the last twenty years, so hasn’t taken anything like a close look at the people who are actually running his party.

After all, if you start insisting that people be smart and accomplished and well-qualified to hold and exercise power, well, let’s just say setting those kind of standards just can’t end well for a Party that’s powered by an army of illiterate, inbred anti-Christian Armageddon freaks.

I may be misremembering this, but there is, I believe, an old Twilight Zone episode with Donald Pleasance playing a teacher at the end of his career. Bemoaning that "I have left no mark.” Touched no one. Changed no minds. Made no impression.

That used to be considered a bad thing: now with the GOP junta, it’s the Primary Qualification for holding some of the most pivotal and powerful jobs in the world.

Cokie Roberts points out that the people who are complaining about "Harriet the Why" didn’t complain about Clarence Thomas. People who said religion isn’t an issue are now not-so-sub-rosa touting her Evangelicism. People who were fanatical about not discussing John Robert’s personal views are now demanding that the standard of “trust me and shut up” and “I looked in her eyes and talked to her over coffee-cake” be good enough to appoint a justice for life to the SCOTUS.

Goodness me. Republican flip flopping? And on a Sunday, on television! Whatever will we tell the children?

George Will touted the Parti Line that Conservatives aren’t supposed to be nice people. They are supposed to be competent people. That competence will build a meritocracy.

Reich saying with a perfectly straight face and even tone, “Corruption, cronyism, corruption, cronyism...” and Cokey jumping in to cut him off. But even a bottom-feeder like the Coked One is starting to nut-punt the House of Bush as it falls ever lower. Of course its born out of incredulity –- a sense of curdled wonderment that comes from watching this politically gutshot Administration unspooling its guts into the sand in overcranked fast-motion. An “I can’t believe they’re fucking up this badly, and this FAST” feeling of shock -- and not principle, but it’s a laugh to watch her sink her teeth firmly into the hand keeps her in kibble.

Ohhh...the wheels on the bus fly off and off. Off and off. Off and off.

Then some icky “George Will; One-on-One” segment interviewing Bill Buckley. Well, “interviewing” is a bit of a steeply priced word for it. “Insole sniffing” would be more on target, then farting it out so that they could both bask in a cloud of gastrically reprocessed conservative wonderfulness.


Chris Matthews...

Andrea Mitchell. Judy Woodruff. Clarence Page. Howard Fineman.

Judy raises a point that I’ll now scuff up with my partisan potty-mouth. The White House used to not be worried about Rove, Scooter and the rest of the Mole in the Wall Gang too much – not because they’re not a bunch of scabrous traitors – but because the law they thought would apply was so tangled that they would eel their was around and through it.

But nooooo. Now it’s perjury. Now it’s conspiracy. Now it’s big, blunt mauls that can hammer a square Colorado mile as flat as Kansas.

Bwahahaha!

Andrea Mitchell tries to chortle her way past her Botox at the line Bush is trying to spin that he never, ever, ever asked Harriet her views on abortion or even knows or has a clue about it, but that we should “trust him”...while everyone else who ever shared a cab with her is climbing all over themselves to reassure everyone that she is Loudly and Proudly anti-abortion.

With Reagan we asked, “Is he stupid, or a liar?” With Bush we get both.

Chris Matthews obediently picks up the White House “elitism” meme and runs with it.
Good doggy. Gooood doggy.

And he signs off crabbing that the Dems aren’t offering a better choice. Iraq has been a disaster of Clancy proportions, and is quickly spiraling into the Biblical, and Matthews wants to carp that the Dems aren’t stepping up and taking one in the teeth to give the country an alternative.

First, OK, I agree in principle.

Second, when all the lackeys like Matthews have had both legs amputated and have written out tens of thousands of “I’m so very sorry for licking Bush’s ass and stooging for a Party of Hacks, Liars and Traitors” letters in their own blood to every family whose lives have been maimed or destroyed by George and Dick’s Excellent Iraqi Adventure...then they gets carp. How quickly these Pravda popinjays beg us to forget that as Dubya hijacked our national grief and flew it into Baghdad, Liberals were beaten into the ground by Administration Water Boys every time we raised a quibble about the cost, wisdom, legality and honesty of that strategy.

Now that every quibble has turned out to be the ugly truth, and every Republican tout has turned out to be lies and treason, Quisling Press hacks like Matthews would be well-advised to Shut The Fuck Up about nagging Democrats about what we should and should not do.

Third, the first step to victory is to unmask the GOP as the witchbag of deviants, thieves, pinheads and racists we all knew they were, and right at this moment, I think anything the Republicans want, we deny them. Anything they whine about, we dump on their front porch by the job lot.

The more the Conservatives rip themselves apart over Harriet Meirs...the more we should calmly praised her. Not say we'll vote for her, but note her virtues aloud.

The more they talk about “policy” and morality...the more we point to the ocean of corruption that they float on as deep and wide as the oil patch under Jed Clampett’s shanty, and shake our heads sadly.

The more they clamor about Iraq...the more we ram the word “Mandate” right back down their lying pie-holes. You wanted this debacle. You begged for it. You cheated to get it. You slammed anyone who stood between you and the One Ring as a traitor. You re-elected the patently and criminally inept Crony Number One to insure that the Glorious Revolution you launched in Iraq would go on and on and on and on.

And now that everything you were warned about is coming home to roost on the crest of one self-inflicted tsunami after another, now you want to piss about the Dems?

FUCK YOU.

You shitted up this bed. Now you clean it up.

You send your children to fight your war. You cough up the dough to buy your President out of the fiscal abyss he has driven us into.

Next week, this may change. Next month. Certainly by the beginning of 2006, as the nation goes apeshit over the skyrocketing cost of heating our homes being laded onto the cost of driver our cars, the Dems need to start their own Contract With America. Their simple, All-time, Desert-Island, Top Five Reasons to vote Democratic.

But right now the GOP is starving for a big, distracting fight with the Democrats to take the press and the nation’s eye of their abject failure and the bottomless corruption of this Party of God.

So lastly, we need to fight, and definitely clean up our own house, but we need to fight smart. So for today, I’ll take the sage advice of Napoleon Bonaparte:

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”