Friday, September 09, 2005

See, son, if you’re a Contributor…



…maybe I won’t let the Alligators get you.

Hell, if you grow up enough like me -- a stupid, rich, arrogant, staggeringly incompetent and generally worthless human being but a fucking machine of a cocksucking toadie and thug -- I may let you run a part of the government charged with protecting people from disaster and terrorists.

Can you spell that?

C-o-n-t-r…then maybe an “i”…and there’s a kinda “beaut” sound in there…

Oh fuck you. What am I, a dictionary?

See privileged little boys get to grow up and be lazy and powerful and reckless and dumb, hired by other lazy, powerful, reckless, dumb lickspittles and ass-bandits.

Like this guy...

This from Steve Gilliard...

He wasn't even a horse lawyer

FEMA's Brown padded resume: hardly a lawyer, either
by Goldy at HorsesAss [Subscribe]
Thu Sep 8th, 2005 at 15:11:48 PDT

FEMA director Mike Brown was originally brought into the agency as its general counsel, under the auspices of his old college roommate (and Bush fixer) Joe Allbaugh. By now we all know that Brown is an emergency manager who knows nothing about managing emergencies, and a former horse association commissioner who knew nothing about horses... but apparently, he was also a general counsel who was hardly even a real lawyer.
In a devastating expose published today in The New Republic, University of Colorodo-Boulder law professor Paul Campos determines to answer the question "of exactly what, given Brown's real biography, he is qualified to do." The answer, not surprisingly, is very little.
...
According to Campos, Brown received his J.D. in 1981, and spent the next couple years representing the interests of a "prominent local family" in Enid, Oklahoma, followed by an 18-month stint at a local law firm (that no longer exists.) But it appears that by 1987 he had already more or less abandoned his legal career. From 1991 to 2001 he served as commissioner of judges and stewards for the International Arabian Horse Association, a full-time position from which he resigned under pressure.
...
Campos further deconstructs Brown's FEMA bio, which he impressively claims to have served as "a bar examiner on ethics and professional responsibility for the Oklahoma Supreme Court and as a hearing examiner for the Colorado Supreme Court." Campos' translation?
In Oklahoma, he graded answers to bar exam questions, and, in Colorado, he volunteered to serve on the local attorney disciplinary board.

...
Campos' summation is equally devastating, and a pointed critique of the Bush administration.

...
It's bad enough when attorneys are named to government jobs for which their careers, no matter how distinguished, don't qualify them. But Brown wasn't a distinguished lawyer: He was hardly a lawyer at all. When he left the IAHA , he was a 47-year-old with a very thin resume and no job. Yet he was also what's known in the Mafia as a "connected guy." That such a person could end up in one of the federal government's most important positions tells you all you need to know about how the Bush administration works--or, rather, doesn't.


Once again, this has always been a story about cronyism, and the human lives it may have cost. And now we know that not only did Brown lack the qualifications to lead FEMA, he also lacked the legal qualifications to serve as its general counsel, his first position at the agency. It's not just Brown who should be fired... it's the incompetent president who appointed him.



See we LOVE Affirmative Action...just so long as it's good, old fashion Antebellum Confederacy-flavored Affirmative Action.

Of course if you're not a Child of Privilege, we have another role for you to play.

Fashion accessory.

First your family goes to feed our friend Snappy here until he is fine and fat.


Then we harvest Snappy in the traditional Ownership Society manner.


And viola! Snappy becomes a pair of fine, Texas shitkickers:


For this guy...


And this guy...


And the whole Bush Crime Family to wear and enjoy as they stand on your neck.


While they breed themselves ever fatter, dumber and more loathsome and wait for you to grow big enough to feed Snappy Jr.

And the Republican Circle of Life is complete.

71 comments:

Anonymous said...

Where's Joe Max? I feel another movie coming, set to Elton John's "Crocodile Rock," or perhaps the old Grateful Dead tune "Alligator."

Anonymous said...

Michael Brown25 licks GWB's orifice.

Anonymous said...

Upon reflection "Alligator" is the song...

Anonymous said...

Go to google and type in failure. Then hit I'm feeling lucky.

Priceless!

Terrible said...

End The Cycle!

Anonymous said...

Gratitude for Moralists.

The twin towers have been blown up
New Orleans has been drowned
Thanks to all those Moralists who
gave George Bush the crown

Our army has been broken
Vets roll their wheelchairs
Oh thanks to all the Moralists
and who got the answer to their prayers

Old people were drowned in their nursing home bed
Little children were raped until they were dead
Thanks to the Moralists who knew that they should
Spit on scared girls at Planned Parenthood

The memo warned of Bin Laden
The levee experts warned of delays
And the Moralists shouted:
Stop marriage for gays

Why our brothers and sisters got sent to war
noone can explain
And Abu Graib jailers dispensed evil pain
But the Moralists prayed in their Churches on Hills
That pharmacists would not dispense birth control pills

Or merciful God bring soon that day
That you pick up the Moralists
Rapture them away
To the pit that awaits them
On the judgement day.

Anonymous said...

Driftglass, awsome as usual - yesterday's rant blew me away BTW and Joe Max's movie made me livid. To Citizen K, here's a hearty "Amen!" for that poem.
Impeach Bush!
Crazygrrl

Anonymous said...

Hey ya'll, here's a bit of good news - 0r as good as it gets? 'Course it doesn't say 'fired', just 'releived'. Guess that means a nice vacation beforing returning to pick up his medals for valor.

NBC News and news services
Updated: 1:51 p.m. ET Sept. 9, 2005
WASHINGTON - Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Michael Brown is being removed from his role managing Hurricane Katrina relief efforts, government sources said Friday.

Government sources disclosed the move but spoke on condition of anonymity because the change hadn't been officially announced. Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff was expected to announce the change at a 1:45 p.m. ET news conference.

Brown will be replaced by Coast Guard Vice Adm. Thad Allen, who earlier this week was named his deputy to oversee relief and rescue efforts.

Anonymous said...

The Bush Administration motto: "Aooner or later, we're bound to get this thing right!"

I wish to God it was their epitaph...

Snaggle Tooth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Snaggle Tooth said...

Never mind, Cosmo already told ya
that your fav "Failure" at whitehouse.gov can now be found under "I feel Lucky" at google", wonder if one ofya did it...
cause someone screwed over my computer functioning for the day yesterday after the pm before my comment here was the last thing I did onl_ before it happened...Hmm

Anonymous said...

Drift, you're a wonderful madman!

The whole gator theme...(Thanks, Steve...)

Too good!

jurassicpork said...

Anyone ever heard this old chestnut?

"There's an alligator in the elevator/ And he's making eyes at me"?

Ten bucks to the first person who can think of the artist. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

FEMA Resume: In advance of Hurricane season, I was once the lead logistical planner and geospatial analyst on a mission to NO to assess and test the readiness, including quantity and quality of necessary supplies and emergency shelter, of local preparations in handling unanticipated events of catastrophic nature. The outcome was a passing rating with appropriate critical assessment. This mission was set up as a model for future event planning.

Translate-o-meter: On a July roadtrip to the Big Easy with two buddies I got to hold the map since I was the "sober" one. We imbibed many a liquid refreshment as well as dabbled in the local quissine. I woke up hung over and spread across the front bucket seats of the Econoline van with the two buddies passed out in the back and all of our money was spent. However, I was able to access a bottle of Pepto Bismal and we sold a bag or two of pot to raise some cash for gas and eventually got back home.

We rated the trip a high success but figured that we'd need more cash and a better road map for the next trip to the Windy City (but really, who ever could have anticipated Wells Street?).

Anonymous said...

That's the key word: CONTRIBUTOR

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Anonymous said...

Bush's boot fetish?????????????.

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Roberto Iza Valdes said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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