See, son, if you’re a Contributor…

…maybe I won’t let the Alligators get you.

Hell, if you grow up enough like me -- a stupid, rich, arrogant, staggeringly incompetent and generally worthless human being but a fucking machine of a cocksucking toadie and thug -- I may let you run a part of the government charged with protecting people from disaster and terrorists.

Can you spell that?

C-o-n-t-r…then maybe an “i”…and there’s a kinda “beaut” sound in there…

Oh fuck you. What am I, a dictionary?

See privileged little boys get to grow up and be lazy and powerful and reckless and dumb, hired by other lazy, powerful, reckless, dumb lickspittles and ass-bandits.

Like this guy...

This from Steve Gilliard...

He wasn't even a horse lawyer

FEMA's Brown padded resume: hardly a lawyer, either
by Goldy at HorsesAss [Subscribe]
Thu Sep 8th, 2005 at 15:11:48 PDT

FEMA director Mike Brown was originally brought into the agency as its general counsel, under the auspices of his old college roommate (and Bush fixer) Joe Allbaugh. By now we all know that Brown is an emergency manager who knows nothing about managing emergencies, and a former horse association commissioner who knew nothing about horses... but apparently, he was also a general counsel who was hardly even a real lawyer.
In a devastating expose published today in The New Republic, University of Colorodo-Boulder law professor Paul Campos determines to answer the question "of exactly what, given Brown's real biography, he is qualified to do." The answer, not surprisingly, is very little.
...
According to Campos, Brown received his J.D. in 1981, and spent the next couple years representing the interests of a "prominent local family" in Enid, Oklahoma, followed by an 18-month stint at a local law firm (that no longer exists.) But it appears that by 1987 he had already more or less abandoned his legal career. From 1991 to 2001 he served as commissioner of judges and stewards for the International Arabian Horse Association, a full-time position from which he resigned under pressure.
...
Campos further deconstructs Brown's FEMA bio, which he impressively claims to have served as "a bar examiner on ethics and professional responsibility for the Oklahoma Supreme Court and as a hearing examiner for the Colorado Supreme Court." Campos' translation?

In Oklahoma, he graded answers to bar exam questions, and, in Colorado, he volunteered to serve on the local attorney disciplinary board.

...
Campos' summation is equally devastating, and a pointed critique of the Bush administration.

...
It's bad enough when attorneys are named to government jobs for which their careers, no matter how distinguished, don't qualify them. But Brown wasn't a distinguished lawyer: He was hardly a lawyer at all. When he left the IAHA , he was a 47-year-old with a very thin resume and no job. Yet he was also what's known in the Mafia as a "connected guy." That such a person could end up in one of the federal government's most important positions tells you all you need to know about how the Bush administration works--or, rather, doesn't.

Once again, this has always been a story about cronyism, and the human lives it may have cost. And now we know that not only did Brown lack the qualifications to lead FEMA, he also lacked the legal qualifications to serve as its general counsel, his first position at the agency. It's not just Brown who should be fired... it's the incompetent president who appointed him.

See we LOVE Affirmative Action...just so long as it's good, old fashion Antebellum Confederacy-flavored Affirmative Action.

Of course if you're not a Child of Privilege, we have another role for you to play.

Fashion accessory.

First your family goes to feed our friend Snappy here until he is fine and fat.


Then we harvest Snappy in the traditional Ownership Society manner.


And viola! Snappy becomes a pair of fine, Texas shitkickers:


For this guy...


And this guy...


And the whole Bush Crime Family to wear and enjoy as they stand on your neck.


While they breed themselves ever fatter, dumber and more loathsome and wait for you to grow big enough to feed Snappy Jr.

And the Republican Circle of Life is complete.