Sorry, lil' darlins

But after 36 hours, even I have to take a stretch and read a little Elmore Leonard...

...although come to think of it, I did promise myself that I’d go out in a blaze of naughty.

Anyway, we appear to have an early front-runner for this year’s Darwin Award, and as much as the much-abused better angel of my nature urged me strongly to take the high road – (“Must...not...mock...moron’s death”) that’s just never, ever going to happen.

Here's the tale.

Man dies after 49 hours of computer games

Associated Press

August 10, 2005, 7:10 AM CDT

SEOUL, South Korea -- A 28-year-old South Korean man died of exhaustion in an Internet cafe after playing computer games non-stop for 49 hours, South Korean police said Wednesday.

Lee, a resident in the southern city of Taegu who was identified only by his last name, collapsed Friday after having eaten minimally and not sleeping, refusing to leave his keyboard while he played the battle simulation game Starcraft.

Lee was quickly moved to a hospital but died after a few hours, due to what doctors are presuming was a heart attack, police said.

Lee had been fired from his job last month because he kept missing work to play computer games, police said.
...

I don’t want to do anything for 49 hours non-stop.

Seriously.

And I am one lewd bastard.

Fix me up a Bacon-Driftglass-and-Tomato sammich with Rosario Dawson and Lucy Liu as the other major food groups, and sorry, but after sixteen or seventeen hours even we would have to stop for food and a nice hot tub.

And cupcakes.

And kids, I cannot stress enough the importance of rehydration and re-electrolytization: vital in any marathon, but especially critical during these hotter days.

And fresh batteries, because down in the trenches, even Holmes needed his Watson.

And sushi.

And I hope everybody brought a toothbrush, 'cause I love ya, but you ain't using mine.

And sombody's gonna have to go out and get more AstroGlide, because I am NOT walking around like John Wayne after “Taking ‘em to Missouri, Matt” all week long.

And, to be painfully honest, there would be a lot of long-distance nyah-nyah-nyah calls, and a shitload of 2:00 a.m. bwahahaha!-blogging while the ladies slept.

But for fucking video game?

Fortunately these little problems have a way of working themselves out that should even make the staunchest Creationist think maybe that Darwin fella was on to something.