All my life I've awaited Kos’ coming…

…and dreaded it.

There’s a sharp-as-hell, potty-mouthed Tennyson who posts over on Gilliard now and then. Goes by the name of LowerManhattanite.

When I visit Steve’s house, and go a'kaaa-zinging through a particularly long comment thread to get the sense of it before deciding to go back and read the whole of it, if I see the telltales of a LowerManhattanite posting, I’ll tap my brakes, pull off on the shoulder, and picnic on his words.

The SOB can write, but unlike other fine Ike-and-Tina-Turners-of-Phrases (yes, I’m looking in your direction, JurassicPork), LowerManhattanite chooses to ghost-in-the-machine his prose, so you might miss it if ya ain’t lookin’.

So looky.

Time: The present.

Place: The News Blog.

Subject: DLC helper-monkey and all-around-Renfield, Mickey Kaus.

ESTABLISHING SHOT: Slow dissolved to INTERIOR of a smoky, lefty blog on a balmy afternoon. Several RAIL BIRDS hang out, talking politics, passing the hat for PAUL HACKETT, and chatting up JEN while trying to look down her blouse.

(A snip from) MR GILLIARD:

“Mickey Kaus wrote the following charming words in Slate

3) Of course it helps her, both because attacks from the left make her look centrist and because Kos is one of the few people on the planet with a personality so unappealing he allows Hillary to seem warm and enchanting! That's especially true when she's playing the peacemaker. She doesn't even have to denounce him directly (e.g. like a Souljah), although it would be nice to see her stand up to someone forcefully in public (see #6 below).

First of all, has he even met Kos? If he has, well, that's the oddest perception I think you could take away from meeting him. But then, most people think Kaus is a useless asshole, but he must have friends.

From the end of the bar, a PAIR OF HANDS are seen rolling invective, humor, poo-poo and a collection of adjectives with their serifs all sharpened to carbon-monofilament sharpness into a FATTIE.

We SEE a match flare, at the FATTIE glow to life. It is FLICKED out of the shadows, arcs down the entire length of the bar, landing in Mickey Kaus’ EYE. He does a funny, little DANCE -- like a tuber taking rumba lessons -- before his HEAD bursts into flames.

And here’s what LowerManhattanite packed into that fattie.

This petty, shriveled, sea monkey with a laptop Kaus totally exposes himself for the GOP talking point hand-puppet he is with this recent commitment of Rogaine-leached ramblings to cyber-punditry.

The talking point has been a two-pronged one for the last several weeks...

Prong One:

Play on and hype up disagreements within the Democratic party. The whole DLC-Netroots progressives bogus mini-sh*tstorm over the past thre weeks is evidence of that. On virtually every liberal blog, mysterious first-time and low-post total newbies appeared to push the pro-DLC line at the very moment that the hardening conventional wisdom was that the DLC was going through its death-rattle and last spasms. (Mother f*ck a tinfoil hat--some of these distractors are paid to do so--it's the perfect "stuffing envelopes" for cash job for the "Holy rolling freeper-whose-kids-are-doing-meth-in-the-loser- next-door-Shawn's-garage" set) The RW meme has become "Stand united in the face of our actual plague of frogs, locusts and diamond-edged hail from the sky while hyping/creating dissension in the opponent's ranks--thus making us look stronger." They get their scrotums caught in a wringer every day it seems with another Rove/Coingate/Roberts/Bolton f*ckup to defend, spin and neutralize, so they've opted to defend with offense. Should things go miraculously or even very well in losing for Hackett today in OH-2, it will be the equivalent of the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand in '14--world war will have been officially declared the loudest progressive voices in the "new" media.

Prong Two:

The last sentence from Prong One may be too late already--the right's forces have already been moved into place and have lobbed a few shells over the de-militarized zone into our camp. You don't have to be a prison-pallored, blog-crawling junkie to notice the marked increase in attacks from a sh*t-scared right on the likes of Kos lately. For the last four months, I have seen a specific targeting of Kos (and to a slightly lesser degree Atrios) by the GOP's loosest-armed, sh*t-slinging cyber-chimps. We know whay this is.

Kos, the Kos community (and other similar nascent, progressive cyber-communities) and what they can do has got these f*cking weasels as panicky as an in-flight drug mule with the runs. The right sees the landscape has shifted in such a way as their base is still tethered to talk-radio and the "heh-indeedy-ing" of their blog whales. The left on the other hand has spawned several actual communities of neo-journalists, activists, media tipsters and most frighteningly, fundraisers. The rusted-chastity belt crew over on "The Corner" (where I learned as a child was where the whores and ne'er do wells hang out--how un-ironic) has to beg, plead and promise to never allow their doyenne of d*ckishness Lucianne out of the house again just to get a few dollars flowing their way. Meanwhile, the call goes out from Kos, Atrios, Steve and others in Upper Blogovia (as opposed to the grunting, fur-wearing denizens of Lower Blogovia/Freeperland) and Hackett makes the right douse their Dockers over the money that comes in.

And because of their sphincter-puckering fear about this change/imbalance, they are going full bore after Kos--almost always by name to get people to eventually think "negative" when they hear "Kos". It's a campaign. And the campaign is being brought to bear against other "comers". Note the crazed swarm the likes of Hewitt and his bed-warmers Malkin and Barber have tried to incite over Air America of late. seems like a lot of worry over a "doomed", "failed", and "futile" exercise doesn't it? A doomed enterprise that adds several stations every month to their network. These cowards fear the traction the left is getting. That fear manifests itself in the troll bombing of other would-be "Kos Jr.'s" out there. The rather concerted attempts to prevent community development at Pandagon, Oliver Willis, Busblog and here is almost glass noodle transparent. One Kos has 'em scampering...several Kos-esque communities (and they are developing) will have 'em trying to pass poison-pill legislation to put that genie back in the bottle.

Oh wait...they're tryin' to do that as we speak. Ohhhhhhhhhhh....

Finally, let's call a bald-headed sh*tbird a bald-headed sh*tbird, shall we? Isn't it painfully obvious that "Kaus" is more than a bit jeallous of "Kos"? A relatively unconnected veteran comes along and in less than four years becomes a force to be reckoned with by kingmakers on the right and left. Meanwhile, the othet guy toils in relative media obscurity, turning out screed after Cheeto and Sprite flecked-screed in a sad attempt to be yet another latter-day, 28-cent Walter Winchell that no one besides 12 Beltway Kool Kids will give an eighth of a rat's *ss about.

This little foot-typing orangutang's got his sh*t-tossing orders from on high (or low for you punsters)...and his naked "hateration" of Kos and the burgeoning online/blogoverse think tanks that render him somewhere beneath the t*tty-bar sandwich board palmcard guys is so evident, it's sad. Sad in the way of seeing an obvious victim of an epidemic that's spreading across a populace.

But I ain't cryin'.

It’s excellent craft, but throwing a sternum-cracking haymaking with the phrase “little foot-typing orangutang's” in the last paragraph makes it fucking art.

CUE driftglass laughing his ass off.

Fade to BLACK…and VICTORY in Ohio.