On this Fourth Of July...

Remember the Liar who started it all.


Seeing Republican Lying Howler Monkey Number One pop his head up on the ABC Rectal Self-Exam this Sunday put me in mind of this, especially since it looks like the Parties might be headed towards the Plains of Meggido – again – over the appointment of a replacement for Sandra Day-O.

Day-ay-ay-O.

(For me, the choice is obvious. Rosario Dawson. C'mon. There isn’t even a close second, but sadly, so one wants to listen to reason these days.)

And since Rove is almost certainly about to be outed as the lying, backstabbing traitor we’ve all known he has always been.

And now that the brilliant descendent of the Merry Pranksters – Jesus’ General’sOperations Yellow Elephant – is boring ever deeper into enemy territory, with each round of “rebuttals” from the Cowards of Veal House, we see more and more direct evidence that they’re just fucking nuts. The more they yip and yap, the more it becomes painfully obvious they have absolutely no coherent world-view past shrieking the slogans that are programmed into their soft, moon heads.

(Seriously, watching these Gap-clad Yahoos trying to paper over the moral bankruptcy and cowardice of their party and positions with nothing but empty decibels and hysterically spasmodic knee-jerkery is like unto watching a Busby Berkley epic recast with Third Stage syphilitics, water-head drunks and St. Vitus’ Dancers: There’s a sense of horror that no Grown-ups are putting a stop to it... a certain, shameful, geek-show fascination...and a degree of wonder that, given the headless-Chickenhawk flailing that passes for forensic skills on the Right, they all haven’t just kicked each other’s million-dollar orthodontia down each other’s throats.)

So what will happen?

My guess?

Bush will appoint a Jim Crow Conservative who thinks that everything past the Articles of Confederacy is Liberal Meddling in the Rich White Christian Man’s absolute right do whatever the fuck a Rich White Christian Man wants to do. That Vaseline-Spined “Moderate” Republicans will wince and whine a little...and then bend over and grab ‘em like the principle-free, Two Buck Trollops that they are.

But more on that later.

With Rove...I surmise there will be some verb-parsing about “disclosure” and “active agent” and so forth on a level so epic that comparing it to Clinton’s juggling of the word “is” will seem like putting Cirque du Soleil in the same line-up next to Sniffy the Part-Time Bar Mitzvah Clown.

And, of course, as has been true every single one of the dozens and dozens of times they have been confronted by a Bush-mire that is exactly the same in kind, and orders of magnitude worse in severity, than anything and everything for which they hounded Clinton for seven long, despicable years...the Right will never bat an eye at their own boundless hypocrisy.

Sociopaths, hucksters and congenital liars never do.

So Rove will be go on unpaid leave...five blocks away, where he’ll be fitted out with plush digs, bottomless expense accounts, nekkid rent boys and a vid-phone with a hard-line, Umbra-clearance link to the White House so that, technically, he’s not breaking any rules.

If he can’t be lawyer-ed out of his betrayal of the Nation for craven, partisan interests, he’ll get a freshly-minted Prez Pardon...followed by a wet-tongue kiss to the top of his traitor’s melon, followed by, oh, let’s just say the Presidential Medal of Freedom Factory will have to go back on third shift to make sure this Administration’s record of Hero-izing every one of their Incompetents and Criminals that get flushed into the open remains unbroken.

I mean, Jesus, how is it possible that everything they touch turns to shit? Hell, twenty-years from now, you show someone your fancy-schmancy Medal of Freedom, and the question is going to be, “Good Lord, what did you get caught doing? Fucking dogs?”

As to the brave Musketeers of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders every Porkos, Cheetos and Utterly-Remiss one of them (“All for One...but No Army of One for me!”) will continue to prattle on and on and on, flinging crazier and crazier feces in every direction, trying to change the subject away from their arrant cowardice.

Each of these topics is certainly worthy of it’s own, careful demolition, which is happening all over left-blogistan, but for a Fourth of Julyish bit of a walk down the Rue Historical, I wanted to take a moment and talk a little about a subject which is the single most verboten topic within the Republican Party: The Past.

Specifically, how did we get here?

How did it ever get to be OK to be just plain Bugfuck Zell Miller Ranting Nuts and still claim a place at the Adult's Table of public discourse? For example, how did a bilious Mad Cow like Ann Coulter ever get her name publicized anywhere but scrawled on the walls of your lower-rent Glory Hole stalls? Why isn’t Rush – who uses the phrase “feminazi” as freely and often as Chicagoans say “Over by d’ere” – ever given the Dick Durbin treatment for conflating the women’s movement with the Third Reich?

We’re about to have a helluva Summer and Fall, and all over D.C. and the MSM, any number of ass-licking “Moderate” Republicans and misguided Dems will be wringing their damp little paws and decrying the lack of civility and comity in our public discourse.

Which might be fair enough...if the breakdown of mutual respect was a natural phenomenon, but its not. The strategy of dumping ton after metric ton of raw sewage into the public discourse in order to slime to death anyone within a mile of honest debate is a strictly man-made Republican phenomenon.

For twenty years, the GOP Poison Factory has made unilateral war on the Democratic Party, and for twenty years the Dems have been stupid enough to keep kicking at the football that Lucy kept yanking away at the last minute (and then Lucy would pee in their faces for good measure.)

There is a reason why a douchebag like James Dobson isn’t off fleecing widows out of their pensions but instead wholly owns the testicles of the Heir Presumptive to the GOP Throne. There is a reason why Creationists and Petro-whores dictate Science Policy, and why the GOP Krazy Kampus Kuttlefish have no concept of how to construct a decent argument

It’s because for twenty years they have been carefully taught that lying, cheating and calling anyone a traitor who disputes their infinite wisdom in the slightest is their God Given Right. They have been taught that Thuggery and Mendacity are Good and Holy, and when you get caught with your pants down and your wang buried to the short-and-curlies in the family pet...that the solution is to shriek a little louder, and call everyone who sees you a terrorist.

The good news is, this makes them incredibly weak. At long last, like dying drunks, all the GOP has left to prop itself up are the very dregs of the bottle: hatemongering traitors like Rove, warmongering loons like Rummy and Dominionist chuds like Dobson. And like the Potemkin Puppet People that seat-filled Bush's disasterous Social Security Loot-a-palooza Tour, they have grown so used to hearing nothing but retard adulation for every idiot lie they puke out that one, clean shot to the body freaks them completely out.

"Play-nice" time is over. Long over. I say fuck these people, and anyone that look’s like ‘em.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, a re-cut version of comments from elsewhere and elsewhen. Call it recycling ;-) Or, if you prefer, a Special Encore Performance of the actually history of the GOP’s Long March into the Moral Sewer...

1986: Federal court rules that overturning the “Fairness Doctrine” was the purview or the Executive Branch, and Congress has no say in the matter. The Fairness Doctrine was a 1949 FCC reg that said, in part, that if you wanted to use the public airwave you had to, at a minimum, "afford reasonable opportunity for the discussion of conflicting views of public importance."

1987: The Reagan Administration immediately invites the “Fairness Doctrine” to the West Wing basement to “check out some cool shit I got” and shoots it in the head. Twice. See, when you’re Anointed By God Almighty, all “conflicting views” are axiomatically equal to Satan’s Own Lying Helljizz, and we can’t be having helljizz spattering all over the place, can we? What About The Children!?

So no more Fairness Doctrine, and suddenly any bottom-dweller with a talent for spoonfeeding young, dumb Fascists whatever lies they want to hear could become Rich! Rich as Pirates! But from what far shore would this new lion arise?

This from World Of Celebrities “In 1988, Limbaugh returned to radio as a talk show host in Sacramento, California.”

My, but that was fast.

Again, why do you have to be “Fair and Balanced” if you are 100% right all the time, and everyone else is a freedom-hating traitor? And would you want to give Valuable Bandwidth/Frequency to those Enemies of Democracy anyway?

And out of his fetid, little whelping box comes his imitators – the Hannitys, O’Reillys, Coulters, Fox News itself, etc.

In 1992, President George I goes on Limbaugh's show as part of his re-election campaign.

In 1994, when the Republicans captured the Congress, they held a ceremony naming him “an honorary member of Congress” and “the Majority Maker.” Today he is heard bleating his Goebbespeak from 600 stations and 20 million people listen to him every week.

Meanwhile, inside the Party of Lincoln (although the differentiation between party “insiders” and “the media” had, by this time, all but disappeared) Newt Gingrich -- GOP’s #1 Fountain of Bile -- had produced GOPAC’s own Little Red Book: a primer on teaching GOP Newspeak to the young ‘uns. It divided the rhetorical world into Positive, Optimistic Words to be used to describe all things Republican, and another list of words to be worked into every conversation about Democrats. Newt Gingrich’s instructions to his congressional Hitler Youth:

“This list is prepared so that you might have a directory of words to use in writing literature and mail, in preparing speeches, and in producing electronic media. The words and phrases are powerful. Read them. Memorize as many as possible. And remember that like any tool, these words will not help if they are not used.”

The words he listed to be jackhammered mindlessly into the skulls of anyone anytime you spoke of Democrats were: decay, failure (fail) collapse(ing) deeper, crisis, urgent(cy), destructive, destroy, sick, pathetic, lie, liberal, they/them, unionized bureaucracy, "compassion" is not enough, betray, consequences, limit(s), shallow, traitors, sensationalists, endanger, coercion, hypocrisy, radical, threaten, devour, waste, corruption, incompetent, permissive attitude, destructive, impose, self-serving, greed, ideological, insecure, anti-(issue): flag, family, child, jobs; pessimistic, excuses, intolerant, stagnation, welfare, corrupt, selfish, insensitive, status quo, mandate(s) taxes, spend (ing) shame, disgrace, punish (poor...) bizarre, cynicism, cheat, steal, abuse of power, machine, bosses, obsolete, criminal rights, red tape, patronage.

And guess what: it worked. Without anything like a “free” press, or regulatory requirements to report news fairly, or an opposition party that had yet caught on to the sea-change that was happening all around them, the GOP Lie Machine steamrolled on unimpeded.

This was and is straight-up GOP Party POLICY, and now they actually have the nerve to pule about “civility” and “decorum.”

Fuck them. Fuck anybody that looks like them. Fuck anybody that voted for them and doesn’t want to begin the conversation with, “I am soooo sorry”.

The point of this is simple and I’ve said it this way before: without Gingrich declaring a deliberate, Orwellian War on Language itself, and without Limbaugh and his ilk acting as the Republicans’ own trillion watt Bullshit Metraton, the GOP are nothing but a minority part, squatting in their squalid Slave States, musing angrily about Negroes.

Professor Plum-fuck ‘em in the Conservatory with a candlestick.

Fuck ‘em sideways.