OK, Massa Terry, just tell me.

Who do I have to kill to be President?

Because it turns out, Michael Schiavo didn’t do it, so that's not gonna work.

And it turns out that Randall Terry’s favorite Hustler Street Slut Inflatable Sex Doll – Jeb Bush – couldn’t possibly care less.

After expending a trillion passionate words to individually massage the prostate of each and every Christopath in Jesusland, and finding out that he was 100% completely, utterly, absolutely, undeniably, indisputably wrong, Jeb Bush has nothing left to add to the discussion but two peevish, gutless sentences shucking off all responsibility.

Shocking!

Why?

Because with all of the rhetorical crinoline and dust ruffles stripped away, the GOP operates by Three Inviolate Rules:

1. Persistent and reckless Lying to advance The Cause is perfectly OK.
2. Facts that don’t support your lies are the work of the Devil.
3. When you’re caught being a Lying Douchebag, attack like a meth-crazed ferret.

Of course these three pathologies – commonly found in such profusion only in hospitals for the criminally insane – tend collapse like spun-sugar candy under the slightest pressure in the Real World.

In the Real World, a mugger caught crouching over his bludgeoned victim, soaked in his blood, razoring out his pockets, still holding the tire-iron with which he beat the victim unconscious …could not hope to say, “Umm, I thought he had a Nukuler Program” and get to skip away clean with his plunder.

In the Real World, Serial Lying could not become the iron scaffolding which holds the Ruling Party upright without one more ingredient: the complicit and utterly invertebrate Moderates.

There is a lot going on the news, but I as cynical as I am, I am still stunned by the Deafening Silence of the Right. From coast-to-coast…nothing.

Purely for the most whorish, partisan, red-meat-to-the-Red-State-Berserker reasons, the Republican Party raised the Schiavo Issue from a tragic, private, family discussion to The Ring of the Fucking Nibelung. Djinned up out of whole cloth, they ate this nation alive. They rampaged across the countryside in their Seven League Boots of Righteousness, kicking the everloving Hell out of anyone and everyone that didn’t join there Political Lynch Mob.

Jebby stood shoulder-to-shoulder with some of the most dangerously deranged Wahabi Christopaths in the Universe. So did Frist. DeLay suddenly “Came to Jesus” over the Schiavo Fiasco as part of his ongoing efforts to annihilate anything like an independent Judiciary, so that he can rule all of Jesusland by direct edict. GW– who couldn’t bestir his sodden ass from Rancho Margaritaville for terrorists or tsunamis – scampered back to D.C. to sign an unconstitutional GOP Nanny State Gone Wild Bill into law in the middle of the night.

They were the ones that were more than happy to picnic on the dead as long as they thought they could make some political hay off of it.

They in turned out they were wrong.

Then really wrong.

Then Holy Fuck, is it even theoretically possible to be any more wrong than these people are?

Then Jebby decided to chuck a brick into the spotlight that he suddenly didn’t find such a friend and go after Michael Schiavo, because just when you think a Slunkmeat Republican can’t sprint into the moral sewer any quicker…they'll pour on some extra steam and surprise you.

Here’s the story…

No Crime Found In Schiavo Collapse
TALLAHASSEE, Fla., July 7, 2005

Florida's state attorney said there was no evidence Terri Schiavo's collapse 15 years ago involved criminal activity, and Gov. Jeb Bush on Thursday declared an end to the state's inquiry.

Bush had asked State Attorney Bernie McCabe to investigate Schiavo's case after her autopsy last month. He said he now considers the state's involvement with the matter finished.

"Based on your conclusions, I will follow your recommendation that the inquiry by the state be closed," Bush said in a two-sentence letter.

In asking McCabe to look again into what put Schiavo in a persistent vegetative state, Bush had cited an alleged gap between when Schiavo's husband Michael found her and when he called 911. The governor had said the issue remained unsettled.

McCabe said, however, while such discrepancies may exist in the record, Michael Schiavo's statements that he called 911 immediately had been consistent.

…
"There are several hypothetical theories that could be advanced, but I have concluded, though not with reasonable certainty, that the most likely hypothesis for the cause of her collapse was the one advanced during the 1992 malpractice litigation, i.e., an eating disorder," he wrote.
….

Well, the Bush Crime Family has always found a complete lack of conscience…liberating.

By jettisoning anything resembling a moral compass, they are free to tell any lie, suck any dick, immolate any opponent, start any war with a kind of undifferentiating, sociopathic glee that is sometimes just a wonder to behold.

Of course the Bush family will crawl into anyone’s bed, no matter how crusty the sheets, no matter how many gallons on innocent blood oozes from the mattress at the slightest touch…as long as doing so advances their political fortunes. That’s a given. Neil, George and Jebbie were, after all, raised by a man who was one of the very last of the Nixon Loyalists. Who, along with Pat Buchanan, defended the previous World Heavyweight titleholder of "Most Reckless and Despicable Republican President Ever" practically up until the helicopter taking the Mad Dog Dick back to San Clemente in disgrace was in the air.

Big George ate shit sandwiches from a man whom he despised for eight years just so he could be a failed, one-term President. He hired joke-writers to make sure he would have fresh Reagan Suck-up material each and every day. The Funeral Attender-in-Chief unhesitatingly flushed every principle he claimed to hold down the crapper of Air Force Two, shaved himself like an Olympic 400-Meter Swimmer and oiled himself head-to-toe just so he could slip just thaaaat much further up Reagan’s ass.

So when it came to pass that Terri Schiavo’s medical condition indisputably proved that that the Right (using its amazing powers of thuggery, mass hypnosis and magical thinking) had been as wretchedly and recklessly wrong as Nixon – and using Demon Science and sound medical opinion, responsible (Read: Liberal) observers had been right all along -- no surprise that Jebby would show off just how well he learned the lesson of strategic treachery from the Old Man.

Terry Schiavo is Jebby’s Iraq: chapter and verse. Another despicable Bush Family, partisan head-fake fluffed up with moralizing rhetoric from the Bush Family Hymnal. All-out strafing runs against anyone that questions anything that he says, all executed in the same despicable way…right up until the lies fall apart. Then the essential hollowness and cowardice that is knit right into the Bush Family DNA bares its ugly face.

Captain Obvious -- Tom Friedman to his colleagues and gullible book-buyers everywhere -- with whom I normally disagree, and who – in this article – does little more that sum up the obvious, happens to accidentally make the single most salient possible point about the Republican Party when he works his little pink self all up into a state over state of the Muslim world…

Here is what he said, in part, about the responsibility for the larger Muslim community – especially the religious leaders -- to police their own radicals and crazies, a position with which I happen to (mostly) agree. Shocked the hell out of me, agreeing with The Captain, but he got this one about half right:

…
What do I mean? I mean that the greatest restraint on human behavior is never a policeman or a border guard. The greatest restraint on human behavior is what a culture and a religion deem shameful. It is what the village and its religious and political elders say is wrong or not allowed. Many people said Palestinian suicide bombing was the spontaneous reaction of frustrated Palestinian youth. But when Palestinians decided that it was in their interest to have a cease-fire with Israel, those bombings stopped cold. The village said enough was enough.


The Muslim village has been derelict in condemning the madness of suicide bombing. When Salman Rushdie wrote a controversial novel involving the prophet Muhammad, he was sentenced to death by the leader of Iran. To this day - to this day - no major Muslim cleric or religious body has ever issued a fatwa condemning Osama bin Laden.

Some Muslim leaders have taken up this challenge. This past week in Jordan, King Abdullah II hosted an impressive conference in Amman for moderate Islamist thinkers and clerics who want to take back their faith from those who have tried to hijack it. But this has to go further and wider.
…

IMHO, if you simply transpose over those paragraphs the words “Republican Leaders” and “Respected Christian Spokespersons”, the root of problem facing our country jumps into diamond-sharp relief.

Consider how it reads after that slight adjustment…

… The greatest restraint on human behavior is what a culture and a religion deem shameful. It is what the village and its religious and political elders say is wrong or not allowed. Many people said Schiavo Incident was the spontaneous reaction of frustrated Christians and their “Culture of Life”. But when Republicans decided that it was in their interest to have civil conversation on the subject of end-of-life issues, those mob stopped. The Party said enough was enough.


The Republican Party has been derelict in condemning the madness of the Christian Right. When (Chuck Hegel/Richard Clarke/Joe Wilson) made factual statements that contradicted Administration lies and delusions, he was (was torn a new one/was ignored and called “disgruntled”/had his wife outed as an undercover CIA op) by the leaders of Administration. To this day - to this day - no major Christian cleric or Republican Organization has ever issued a (polical) fatwa condemning what happened in the Schiavo Incident.

Or condemning those that want to ram Genesis into biology textbooks.

Or want to gut Science so that we can continue to boil the Earth and pretend its not happening.

Or start a whole war based on Lies and the calculated manipulation of public fear.

The problem with the country in not our Dobsons or Falwells: like viral diseases, they are what they are.

The problem is and has always been, the gutless Moderates of the Republican Party and the MSM. The “Christian clerics” and “Republican Organization” who categorically refuse to say one single fucking word about the Dobsons or the Falwelsl.

People who will merrily pound on imaginary Liberal enemies 24/7, but who categorically refuse to hold a douchbag like Jeb Bush to account for what he put this country through.

To even say to him, “This is what you said, and this is what you did. Now apologize.”