Bush nominates Death Itself for Surgeon General

Republicans promise quick confirmation.


Bolton Confirmation Contested but Likely
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Fox News

WASHINGTON — President Bush's nomination of John Bolton as the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations has stirred deeply the feelings in Washington. Senate Republicans are confident they will confirm him, but liberal groups are using Bolton's own words against him in a last-ditch TV campaign.
Bolton, the former undersecretary at the State Department for arms control and international security, faces a sharply divided Senate with nearly all 44 Democrats opposed to his nomination.
"Over the past 30 years, John Bolton has advertised himself as an unadulterated nationalist and opponent of multilateralism. He's not a healthy skeptic of the United Nations but widely known as a committed destructive opponent, an ideological lone ranger," said Ambassador Jonathan Dean, ...
Two liberal, pro-U.N. groups produced a low-budget ad to illustrate what they say is Bolton's hostility to the world body. The ad quotes a 1990s speech by Bolton in which he said, "The United States makes the U.N. work when it wants it to work, and if you don't like that, I'm sorry, but that is the fact."
"Is this the man we want at the U.N.? America doesn't need a loose cannon, it needs a problem-solver ... John Bolton, wrong ideas, wrong message and the wrong man for the job," says the ad produced by Citizens for Global Solutions.
The ad is designed to increase political pressure on Republican Sens. Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island and Chuck Hagel of Nebraska...
Senate Republicans say they have the votes to confirm Bolton.

First thing, please note the solidarity among the Dems in the Senate on this issue. Even though this flies under most people’s radar, they are hanging together. This is a good thing. A very, very good thing.

Second, Jesus Christ. He’ll pass, but...John Fucking Bolton, Ambassador to the UN. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Like C. Montgomery Burns, head of UNICEF. Or Tanya Harding, “National Treasure.”

Is there a contest board deep inside some White House break room? A “Name The Worst Possible Choice” kinda novelty game and no one explained the joke to Bush?

Well when future students study the Early Information age (outside of the Christian madrasses in New Jesusland of course) they’ll find committing the Bush years and our brief, scary national flirtation with a New Dark Age to memory very easy. Because like remembering facial nerves or how to spell “Mississippi”, Future Student Jimmy will have two utterly reliable mnemonics to help him.

1. (The Name of the Thing) multiplied by –1 = (The Meaning of the Thing).
2. The person appointed to an important government position will invariably be the Least Qualified and/or Most Egregiously Offensive candidate.

So welcome to Opposite Land where, “Education” legislation eviscerates the public education. “Clear Skies” = polluters bill of rights. “Saving” Social Security = killing Social Security. “Class Warfare” = defense of the poor and middle class from unilateral carpetbombing by the rich. “Traitor” = truthful. “Fair and Balanced” = Lies.

The people that completely fucked up the Iraq intel, planning, rationale, reconstruction and exit strategy = "Preznit Medals of Freedom.”

The man who wrote the US “Torture For Dummies” policy on how to dodge the Geneva Convention...is made the Top Cop, replacing a batshit loony Fundy.

The woman who dropped the ball, and then shot the ball, and then buried the ball on 9/11, and brought the same high-focus ineptitude to bear on invading a country that had nothing whatsoever to do with 9/11...is made Secretary of State.

“Death Squad” John...is put in charge of all U.S. covert ops and surveillance, foreign and domestic.

The second most powerful man in the Republican Party and former bug-killer is not only clearly and dangerously nuts, but radiates such pure Death’s Head evil that birds passing over Sugarland, catching even a glimpse of Herr DeLay, have been know to fly into jet engines to purge his image from their tiny brains.

The list just goes on and on.

These future students will probably wonder how the public could possibly have been dumb enough to fall for such laughably transparent ka-ka. “Seriously,” they will ask themselves, “Were Grandma and Grandpa really that fucking retarded?”

That’s when the instructor puts on the DVD of Rev. Jack Van Impe doing his thing. Or Falwell. Or Wildmont. Or Hinn. Or Swaggart. Or Bakker. Or Roberts. Or Robertson.

100,000 arms swaying. A sea of cow-dumb faces believing every word. Wallets and change purses emptied into the hands of Big Haired liars and thieves, over and over and over again. Boundlessly, endlessly, oceanic stupid.

Yes, Little Future Jimmy, oh my yes. Around 20% of them were just exactly that fucking retarded, and for some reason another 30% thought it was a brilliant idea to give them the keys to the country and let them drive it around.

So, Caligula’s horse for Senator?
Cujo for Chief of the CDS?
Vlad Tepes, Head of the President’s Counsel on Physical Fitness?
Why the hell not?