Thursday, October 20, 2016

Fundraiser Day Five: Neutron Don Delivers His Payload Right On Schedule



So the racist orange fire demon who one outcast Liberal loser described back in May as a "political WMD designed to take out the Republican party, but leave their laptops and office space intact" has finally dropped the big one.

All over radio and print this AM and teevee last night, there was widespread pundit Shock! And Horror! And Even More Shock!

Trump refuses to say he will accept election results; Clinton calls it 'horrifying'

Threatening a fundamental pillar of American democracy, Donald Trump refused to say Wednesday night that he will accept the results of next month's election if he loses to Hillary Clinton. The Democratic nominee declared Trump's resistance "horrifying."...
Over here in my tiny Liberal outpost in the middle of Middle America, all I saw was the latest poisonous harvest from the toxic seeds the Republican Party has been carefully cultivating for decades.

Perhaps those very highly paid pundits would have been less Shock! And Horror! And Even More Shock! if they had been paying the slightest attention to what Liberals have been saying all along. 

Here, untouched and intact from 2005, is one of the first posts I ever wrote.  I would change a few details if I were putting it together today, but overall it still stands up as a solid B+ in a world where virtually every paid Beltway media professional has been pulling straight F's since Christ was a corporal:

Little Red State Fundy sez...


Whatever will we tell the children?


One day we will have to explain to the children what happened when Thurston Howell III lost his right mind and decided that for the sake of some tax cuts to make him incrementally more comfortable, his very bestest buddies in the whole, wide world were the Ultra Right Wing Gorgons down in Jesusland.

May I suggest the following?

The Story of Little Red State Fundy

Little Red State Fundy found a grain of hate.

"Who will help me plant the hate?" she asked.

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she buried the hate in the bloody ground of the Old Confederacy. After a while it grew up paranoid and ignorant and violent.

"The hate is ripe now," said Little Red State Fundy. "Who will do the mass mailings and preach bigotry from the Pulpit?"

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she licked envelopes until her bill was cracked and dry and stood up into the House of God and crowed to her flocks in their millions that God Loved Them for hating and killing creatures who were not like them.

Then she asked, "Who will help me focus this hatred politically?"

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she made databases and phone banks, and walked door-to-door with petitions that talked of Gods Great Hatred of Gays, and Gods Great Hatred of Judges that did not worship the Hate God in exactly the way the Little Red State Fundy told them to.

Then she carried the hate to steps of the Congress and the White House.

"Who will make a mandate from this hate?" she asked.

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she got on the phone with her very good friend Karl Rove and with his help organized carpools to the polls, and get-out-the-vote drives, anti-gay marriage amendments and smear campaigns. For Jesus.

And Little Red State Fundy delivered the margin of victory and was featured in many, many magazines: without Little Red State Fundy, the Republican Party could never, ever, ever win anything.

And now everybody knew it.

Then she said, "Now who shall help me Rule the Earth."

"We will!" said Moderate Republicans, Undecideds, and Libertarians.

"I am quite sure you would," said Little Red State Fundy, "but see, now you are all my bitches."

Then she called Randall Terry and Tom DeLay and Ann Coulter and Jerry Falwell and Rush Limbaugh and James Dobson, and they and the rest of the Shining Path Republicans used what was left of the Constitution as ass-floss.
And judges were terrorized into silence.
And those deemed ungodly were beaten in the streets.
And they invaded whoever the fuck they felt like, for whatever fucking reason they chose.
And the very idea of a Free and Fair press died.

And to people who had been very clear all along that they genuinely believed in a Theocratic Nanny State and thought that precipitating Armageddon and triggering the Second Coming should be the highest calling of any worldly government, were handed over the police, courts, government, treasury and nuclear weapons stockpiles of the United States of America.

And in the end -- just as they had been warned for the past twenty years -- there was nothing whatsoever left at all for Moderate Republicans, Undecideds, and Libertarians.

Behold, a Tip Jar!




4 comments:

Robt said...

Still nothing persuasive..
They are both the same. They are both bad.
This indecision has nothing to do (I Assure you) with my limited exposure to the world from my little Red State Fundy Hen House in the boonies where I evolved into Hermit Poultry.
They both lie about the emails. Neither tells the truth about how Zombies got named "Walkers" and what they will do about them.
I heard nothing about placing GW Bush's bust carved out on Mt Rushmore.

And the Media is not helping. If the media truly made the candidates discuss how that por Roger Ailes was treated by their own and what they would do about it. It could help
Real Americans like me to be able to make a decision.
But NO! The Wizard will not grant me a brain.

Marilee Driscoll said...

Awesome!

jim said...

...... & now my inbox has Trump spam.

Give the senile brat his goddmned Emmy & put him back in his ugly penthouse.

"Should've gotten it."

Petulant mewling doubling as election night rehearsal?

RUKidding said...

Nasty women of the World Unite! You have nothing to lose but your shackles to racist sexist misogynists who mean you no good. You have nothing to fear except for losing your blinding ignorance. You have everything to gain from ripping the veil of cognitive dissonance from your eyes. You have the power. You can choose what's best for you, your kids & grandkids, your country & our planet.