Tuesday, March 21, 2006

My blog -- The early days:


Before I sorta got the hang of it.

So I woke up today, screaming -- like I always do -- from this nightmare that I was a finalist competing in the same category as James Wolcott.

And then I realized that I just had had too much Yoo-hoo before bednights and had to pee, so I hopfooted it down the castle halls until I found the head...

(Oh please let it have been the head.

Or I'm gonna have to do that whole load of dainties all over again.

And the cat will never let me live it down, what with me recently and severely harshing her catnip-mellow over making willful and premeditated wee-wee on my couch.)

Anyway, since I was up already I checked my email for death threats and penis enlargement bargains and found to my simultaneous horror and cautious delight that 'twas true.

No, not the urinating in the washing machine bit. The other bit.

So here I am -- Koufax Finalist for Best Writing.

One of the Dirty Dozen, along with the following, stellar writers…
Michael Berube Online

By Neddie Jingo

Courting Destiny

Creek Running North: Chris Clarke

Firedoglake: ReddHedd

Hullabaloo: Digby

I Blame the Patriarchy: Twisty Faster

Majikthise: Lindsay Beyerstein

Suburban Guerrilla: Susie Madrak

Unclaimed Territory: Glenn Greenwald


...and the aforementioned Mr. Wolcott -- He Who Can Incise Lyrical Invective Into Titanium...using only every other consonant North of the letter “M” in the English alphabet and any three punctuation marks of your choosing.

(And for Christ's Sake don’t tell him I told you, but I have heard it reliably reported that once, during August of 1983, at CBGB, James Wolcott forced seventeen men to form a human pyramid and an eighteenth to defenestrate himself from the top of it using only an umlaut. Swear to God. I have a cousin who knows a guy who was dating a woman that was there!)

Stepping into -- or even being accidentally choppered into -- any arena with Wolcott is tantamount to Tom Waits’ Chocolate Jesus wandering into CERNs Large Electron-Positron Collider during the smashy part: A situation which presents an ample opportunity for having one’s ass slagged in various amusing configurations if one takes it very seriously, and scant prospect for anything else.

So, while embracing and celebrating the fact that I’m gonna lose like George McGovern...in a prom dress...leading an Easter Sunday "Taliban Abortionist Pride Parade" down the main street of Pierre, South Dakota, I must also admit that fluking into the same neighborhood as these brilliant writers does , in fact, afford me four opportunities that I may not have had otherwise.

So WTF...

First, for reasons too tedious to go into, this has occasioned me to comb back through the 530 posts I have done in the last 11 months and come up with a handful of my favorites.

Not a “Best Of” list, and not necessarily those that have gotten the most attention or elicited the most feedback, but ones that I liked for one reason or another, in eight of the categories where I tend to focus my attention.

And since there may be a wee bit of an uptick in readership in the next few days, I thought I’d let you have a look at what I think stood out in each of those categories.

Here is that list and those topics:

On Doing Unto Others

On Conservative Fear

On Tom Friedman being an ass

On Activism

On Bush

On Cheney

On why David Brooks is a waste of carbon

On those fucking Moderates

Second, since this might garner some attention outside of my normal traffic patterns, let me say unambiguously here and now that I am in the market for a paying writing gig, doing what I do.

Banging out a column or two per week (give or take) on topics of interest to me for dough.

If you need a resume, take a look at the eight examples above.

If that’s not sufficient, then forget about it.

I don’t write on spec and I don’t write for pennies; I write either for my own pleasure, or for compensation commensurate with my skills. If you can’t swing that, then don’t waste my time.

And “time” is really what this is all about.

My paying gigs collectively keep the wolf from my door and the odd dram of Oban in my glass, but they also keep me on a punishing schedule which leaves me little energy or time to do what I enjoy doing, which is stuff like this. So the trick is to find a way to buy back some of my own time, which is something a paying writing gig would afford.

And since I’ve got this blog and all, seemed kinda stupid not to use it to put some feelers out :-)

Third, a strong “Thank You” again to the people that expend their valuable time to come by, read my words, comment and converse so thoughtfully and passionately, and send some positive joss back my way.

I appreciate it more than you know.

And fourth, sincere thanks to Steve Gilliard and Jen, who gave me a fine bloghome to grow up in, and who then urged me to get the fuck out and seek my own fortune.

So far, so good.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

i'm voting for you dude. You are good. You add something(not sure what) to my life.

thank you.

Anonymous said...

Drifty darlin', yuze da best! Nobody hits that special, joyously outraged verbal spot like you.

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I'd have voted for McCarthy, too, had I been old enough. ;)

Neddie said...

So, while embracing and celebrating the fact that I’m gonna lose like George McGovern

If you're George McGovern, I'm Pat Fucking Paulsen. In a gimp-suit. With a candlestick. In the billiard room.

Jee-zis, the brain-melting self-consciousness of it all.

Woof.

Mr. Natural said...

YER THE WIZARD.
Winner lose,
you be he.

Thanks for all the thoughtful grins and snarks, it sure IS fun. Hope you get a gig for it, Drifty, you deserve one.

Still waiting for the return of our Age of Aquarius from the thieves.
NATCH

Mr. Natural said...

here's the crew that runs Bushco...a few missing, but we know who they are...
http://newsblogs.chicagotribune.com/photos/answers_from_bush/bush08.html

Anonymous said...

You go, drifty. That's mighty heady company yer keepin'.

Oh, don't forget, that prom dress is a rental. Dont get it all stained.

Anonymous said...

Koufax Schmofax... you rock, Drifty!

Anonymous said...

If you think you've got a case of the nerves just imagine how that young Ben Domenwhatsit must feel. Barely installed in the Post's rabbit warren and already bloggers have broken into his stash of embarrassing remarks about the war, Al Gore, Helen Thomas. Not to mention the constant reminders he hasn't enlisted in the Great Leader's glorious adventure.

parsec

Anonymous said...

It's so nice to see something that's supposed to happen, happen.

A hearty congrats Drifty.

PWhit said...

You got my vote Drift, but like I always say:

Kind words are nice but money says sooo much more.

You rock, keep up the good work.

Joe Scordato said...

I'm new to your blog, but wanted to say truly awesome posts.

Anonymous said...

Well, I know who I'm voting for! And I hope your feelers find you the gig you're seeking - I can't think of anyone I'd rather see in national print. America NEEDS you Captain Drifty, armed and dangerous with words and righteous outrage.

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Driftie, and humble though you may be, nobody - I mean NOBODY can snark with your elegance. That is why this is the very first place I stumble bleary-eyed to in the AM - before coffee - to get my daily fix.

...mandibular juttiness...sometimes that "drifts" into my brain unbidden and I begin laughing aloud, much to the discomfort of my co-workers.

Lynn

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, and I hope you win the finals. Thank you for including "the poo smell" in your list, you know it is my favorite. I am relentless in my efforts to get others to join in with this worthiest of catch phrases.

When I am very tired, I just drag out a whiny, "Heeyyyy.." but the spirit of my devotion remains. Regards,

maurinsky said...

I love Wolcott, but my vote belongs to Driftglass.

Anonymous said...

Drifty,
You are the cat's ass of snarky bloggers. Your posts are the ones I send to my friends and I read a lot of blogs. I voted for you my friend and good luck on your search.

Anonymous said...

Drifty,
You are the cat's ass of snarky bloggers. Your posts are the ones I send to my friends and I read a lot of blogs. I voted for you my friend and good luck on your search.

Doc Johnson said...

Hear, hear! I barely ever send links to people. Every once in a while though, I read something that I think everyone should see. The last time: Driftglass. The time before: Driftglass. Time before that... well, okay it was that Lazy Sunday skit that was up on You Tube for a while. But, hey, it was catchy, you gotta admit.

Anonymous said...

Drift...

You got my vote before, you'll get it again. I'm a sucker for pointed, "Charlie Parker With Strings"-like (lush, with wild, unexpected "Did he just play that?" flights of fancy) prose and my friend...you've got it in clubs, hearts, diamonds AND spades.

As the Temps said in "Ball of Confusion"...

"Rap on, brother--rap on!"

Yours in dolin' out pimpslaps of prose and verbal vivisectioning,

Lower Manhattanite :)

Jill said...

Congratulations, drifty. It's an honor you richly deserve.

Anonymous said...

ya gots the chops, but,
this bein' yer alternate universe to yer workaday job (or have I got that bassackwards?) it's hard to say how you'd hold up. The trolls and freepers would pile up faster than horny spambots slathered in honey and high on Ecstasy.

as a guerilla blogger you command quite a latitude of so-fist-icated language and good ol' magma hot vitriol. I'd liken reading it to pouring a 20yr old scotch straight into the sinus cavity and packin it in with a fresh dollop of Wasabi. Steamin good times. But after the burn wears off one realizes it's more fun to watch others try it.

If the big leagues catch ya - come out swingin!

Anonymous said...

Drifty, as a writer, you are second to none!

Congrats on the nomination, you got my vote (and I do read most of the others regularly).

Anonymous said...

these days, it must be like being on the cover of Rolling Stone -- back in the old days.

you cot my vote.

jurassicpork said...

Hey, congrats, really. I'm genuinely surprised that I didn't make the semi-finals but WTF, those are the breaks.

But you deserve to be there. Hell, I nominated you, as I'm sure others did.

driftglass said...

Thank you, one and all, for the kind words.

Anonymous said...

I needed a distraction from my normal duties and your blog has provided that for me.

Thank You
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Anonymous said...

I have to admit, you seem to have a very well put together blog here!

Regards,
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