Tuesday, October 25, 2005

You bought it.


Now live in it.

This morning, rolling along into the Loop, full of dying flu virus, I almost felt the meekest, most theoretical peek of pity for the poor Moderate Republican coming on.

Not, of course, the Fundy CHUDS who shame the good name of Christ with every breath they draw.

Not the three-toed, chittering Failed Men who make up the vast George Wallace wing of that Party.

Not the soul-dead, globe-fucking, petro-borgs like Cheney.

But for the Mods...and for only one reason: whatever Santa Claus delivers come Fitzmas morn, in five short years, the Moderates have lived to become everything they detest. Every word of clucking reproach they yelped in snickering glee during the Clinton Age has gotten caught up in the Bush Treason Cyclotron, sped up to light-speed, and is now coming screaming back at them like a sack of radioactive axe-heads.

Their worst nightmare is in the process of coming true, big as a mountain in stilettos, carrying a sledgehammer in one hand and a 40-foot-long straight razor in the other, and there is not shit all they can do about it. Because everything they believed or touted or crowed about or tried to rub in our faces is in the process of coming down around their ears.

Every. Single. Thing.

Every justification that they were fed about their Great Ay-rab Safari is now spilling out into the sunlight and can clearly be seen -- even from High Earth Orbit -- to have been a willful lie.

The leaders who swore to them it was holy and justified to scream their lungs bloody in ecstasy at the thought of their two dearest fantasies -- piles of dead brown people and Low! Low! Gas prices -- coming to pass in One Glorious War are outed as a Confederacy of traitors and liars and fools.

Their pet media, nothing but perambulating pustules, refilled with hate and mendacity every night by White House messengers.

That they have never been anything to the GOP but chumps: little sacs of cash and votes and “mandate” to be squeezed dry with impunity, because Moderates are basically beat-down whores who will always go wriggling back to their abusers.

But now it’s not one thing that’s melting down; it’s everything. The serial cons that have kept the grubby Mods goggle-eyed and heroin-loyal are all falling apart simultaneously and there’s nothing but decibels left in the Shiny Object Bag to keep them from noticing the awful truth.

That their Leaders are traitors.

Their heroes are liars.

Their dogma is a joke.

Their President is a feeble-minded creep who has fucked up everything he has ever touched.

It’s as if their mothers suddenly ripped of rubber masks and have shown themselves to be the spree killers they’ve always been.

How terrifying that must be. I mean, I’m wrong about a lot of stuff...but everything?

Every God Damned Thing?

And worse – so very much worse – not only were they utterly wrong about everyfuckingthing, but the Evil Liberals were right all along.

The big picture. The fussy details. The arithmetic. The real, racist heart of the GOP. The various myriad, casual betrayals by the Bush White House.

All of it.

The Liberals were right, and the Moderates had been given no fewer than 30 years of warning that this is precisely where their idiocy would land us.

I can’t even imagine how it must feel to know at some level that your whole world is a farce, and your whole belief system is a Ponsi Scheme run on you by thugs who never gave a shit about you, or your family or your dearest peon dreams.

Which is why I felt the merest shadow of pity falling on my shoulder today...

...until I flipped past the closed-circuit channel of the Fuhrerbunker, and accidentally stepped in a big, steaming pile of, “Wall Street Journal Report – The Journal Editorial Report.” Where John Fund, Paul Gigot, David Henninger -- three, low-rent, PBS, wannabe Weird Sisters of the GOP (and one, standard-issue, blond, female Republican Pleasure Droid) -- ply their filthy trade unmoored to Reality in any way whatsoever.

And here is what they said, with a little emphasis added by yours truly.

GIGOT: Two of the most influential men in the Bush Administration -- the president's senior adviser, Karl Rove, and vice-president Cheney's chief of staff, I. Lewis Libby -- waited for word this week on whether they would be indicted in connection with leaking the name of a CIA agent. Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has to make a decision within a week and it has enormous implications for the Bush presidency. Dan, how did this investigation over what was after all a routine kind of Washington leak come to this point?

HENNINGER: Well, it came to this point because the original story, the alleged leaking of this covert CIA agent's name, was a mole hill that was generated into a mountain of controversy. The mistake was that the administration decided that the only way to resolve it was to appoint a special prosecutor. Special prosecutors are very unusual institutions. They are not like a normal prosecutor who looks for a crime and then decides whether you have an individual attached to it. They are appointed to investigate individuals, in this case Karl Rove and Scooter Libby. Having spent all this time and money on this investigation, he has to have something to show for it. We are faced with the prospect of the president's closest advisor being indicted which will be catastrophic for the presidency.

GIGOT: It would be damaging, wouldn't it John?

FUND: Very much so and of course the White House is already in disarray on all these other issues that we've been talking about. I have to say though, if it happens, I think it will be one of the strangest stories ever in Washington because there is no underlying crime. Almost everyone agrees that the law that was investigated probably should not even have been investigated.

GIGOT: ... If it is such a difficult decision, if it is such a close call, then why would you make such a momentous decision to indict? You are really essentially torpedoing a second administration and you are doing potentially great damage to the ability of the government to function.

These are the same breed of assworms who warmed their pincers in delight as Bill Clinton was “torpedoed” over lying about consensual sex, and now view treason during wartime as something “routine”, and are shocked that anyone would proceed with indictments over what they consider small matters given the “great damage” it may do “to the ability of the government to function.”

See, I do get some things wrong.

Douchebags like these deserve no pity whatsoever.

They deliberately installed a blood-chugging, HellMouth assassin like Rove...

...and a peevish void like Bush in the People’s House for no other reason than brutal partisan gain, and it will be my distinct pleasure to watch them burn, and their pathetic delusion melt into slag and ignite their bones.

As Steve Gilliard likes to remind us from time to time, “When you’re enemies are drowning, throw 'em anvils.”

And when their heads are on fire, hose ‘em down with mercury fulminate.

131 comments:

Rod Dickson said...

"Every word of clucking reproach they yelped in snickering glee during the Clinton Age has gotten caught up in the Bush Treason Cyclotron, sped up to light-speed, and is now coming screaming back at them like a sack of radioactive axe-heads."
-Driftglass

Man I laughed so hard I spilled some wine!

US Blues said...

For a minute there I was worried you would give in to sympathy. The Venerable Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche once gave a teaching regarding Compassion. He said, in effect, that while you must always be compassionate towards the individual, you are in no way required to be compassionate towards their neurotic behavior.

So, we can feel compassion for these people after they vote a straight Dem ticket in the next 4 or 5 election cycles.

skunqesh said...

Aye,
There's a lotta rumblin coming from Mordor these days. Deep in the heart of Mt.Doom a fresh set of talking points are being created - to Re-Assassinate the Wilsons, Smear Fitzy, Exonerate the Henchman by glad-wrapping them in Old Glory, and keep The One Big Lie, that hot potatoe of bullshit lie about yellow cake, etc. outta the spotlight. (there's plenty more lies, but this One holds them all together, no?)

Sadly though, keeping TOBL in the light of day or pithing Junior's central cortex will barely affect the Mod-squad attrition rate. The "sunk cost effect" should not be underestimated. Also - The gawd offal party has an army of pundits and poo flingers to distract while they 'castle' their king.
Let he/she who is without remorse cast the first Anvil.

Anonymous said...

Via the perennial father fuckers GWB, Phil Garner & The Houston Astaroth Assholes!!!!!!!!!.

Anonymous said...

And he probably seconds Ted Turner's cowardly statement from a few years back, The latter one.

Anonymous said...

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prof fate said...

rod dickson:

I thought that "sack of radioactive axe-heads" line was great, too, but I think "peevish void" may just be the greatest simple adjective and noun combination ever coined to describe Il Douchebag.

Sheer genius, driftglass.

jurassicpork said...

I'd settle for Hunter S. Thompson's solution: "Boil them in poisoned oil."

Assworms. Very descriptive yet apt.

The sheer disconnect from reality is at turns hilarious and frightening. In the government, it's frightening but in the press it's hilarious.

Treason is really no bigger a deal than George ordering soft pretzels to be stocked in the WH kitchen. How serious would it have been if Plame had been killed in retaliation for her intelligence work? Would it have been considered serious if Rove's and Novak's routine revelation resulted in her death?

To these fucking zombies, No.

Anonymous said...

I agree. Fuck em.

skunqesh said...

Oh Snap!

check out Slate.com - "Now They Tell Us
Why didn't Bush's foreign-policy critics speak out a year ago?"
http://slate.msn.com/id/2128629/?nav=ais

Scowcroft and Wilkerson offer stinging rebukes for Junior&Co - just in time to jump on the bandwagon. Shoulda called 'shotgun' before Joe Wilson, and maybe they'd be less into this mess? Guess that's kinda moot now.
Wilkerson's quoted comments in the article would be comfortable wearing a pair of DG's 'sensible shoes';

"If something comes along that is truly serious … like a nuclear weapon going off in a major American city or … a major pandemic, you are going to see the ineptitude of this government in a way that will take you back to the Declaration of Independence. … Read in there what they say about the necessity of the people to throw off tyranny or to throw off ineptitude. … You're talking about the potential for, I think, real dangerous times if we don't get our act together."

Yow! SPanK!

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driftglass said...

Rod Dickson,
You keep spilling wine, you're gonna be in big trouble in Irish Hell :-)

us blues,
I'll settle for half that in cash, and 51 million hand-written apologies that begin, "I will not vote for crooks and traitors anymore..."

prof fate,
high praise, sir. thank you.

Thanks all for the links.

Off to bednight and visions of sugarplums and perpwalks and so forth...

triozyg said...

"...caught up in the Bush Treason Cyclotron, sped up to light-speed, and is now coming screaming back at them like a sack of radioactive axe-heads."

Why not say it twice, it's just so nice? Pure poetry.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it wasn't too long ago those guardians of public probity were insisting on Clinton being called to account for a blow job. But the market for justice seems to have changed.

parsec

Anonymous said...

Bush gives blowjobs too, Noting that he cavorted with a male sex partner.

Tanbark said...

Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaat's right, fund...no "underlying crime", such as a few episodes of slurp and lick.

No debating on this one, as there was about the warts on Clinton's dick. THAT was, by god, UNDERFUCKINGLYING CRIME!

In Iraq, we have OVERLYING CRIME, as in OVER-lying about it.

Like Southern Cal running up the score on Slippery Rock.

God, it makes me want to puke.

Anonymous said...

Bush has warts on his from Karl Boy.

Anonymous said...

And Libby.

Shannon said...

I can't even choose which part of your entry is the most brilliant, so I'm commending you on the whole thing.

All this has been coming on for a very long time and it's only by the grace of the mysteriously silent (yet omnipresent), Father Of all Fundies that they've squeaked by without this kind of thing becoming public knowledge for so long.

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shannon,
Thank you kindly.

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