Maybe you'll blab your PIN number along with everything else. 
Tonight was really something, for all the reasons that every blogger in the Universe is probably even now writing about, but whoever calls it tragedy and commences to rending their garments in sorrow is either a GOP hireling – a dismal, pay-for-dismay troll-op – or so doesn’t understand politics that he misses the point.
We should be dancing, because this was a miracle of no mean heft and scope.
This was democracy doing what democracy does when the stubby, webbed-toes of theocrats and neocons are not allowed to stomp on the scale.
Jean Schmidt ran George Bush’s playbook, page-by-page, against a honorable veteran because she knows the only way cowards like Bush get elected is by slandering good men.
She ran it in the Heart of the Heart of Bush Country (OK, yes, I borrowed this line from the title of a story by William Gass, but I swear it’s for a good cause, and I promise I’ll have it back in the morning all gassed up and sparkly), enfolded in the collective, cadaverous bosom of the myopic fucktards that couldn’t see past the end of their sloped brows during the last election.
And she ran it while positively slathered in fluffy, green GOP lucre.
She reran Bush/Cheney ’04 in one of the places where it shoulda been a mortal lock and the Earth – a patient but never a discerning diner – opened up beneath her and came thiiiis close to swallowed her whole.
So quit’cher, bitchin’ kids, and tip a glass to Future Ohio Senator Paul Hackett.
This, I do believe, was the bellwether.
This, I do believe, is where we saw the tide break and twenty years from now, to “Schmidt” an election may well have joined other such illustrious eponymous-ish exclamations and rejoinders as “Fred Merkle's Boner”, “Thomas Crapper”, “Seamus Dogfucked” and “Emil Shitabunny”.
It will take as its meaning, “To squeak by, barely sliming your way across the finish line, and leaving a foot-deep shit trail that everyone in your party who wants to follow you up the greasy electoral pole will have to shinny through. To make even a Republican automaton, Imperially-conditioned to the cellular level, want to vomit when pulling the lever...and anyone who isn’t strapped into an electronic Dobson Shock and Awe Collar flee the party. To have to publicly defile the dead and debase the living to eke out a win even though you’re already so deep in the Steppes of Outer Dumbfuckilvania that it positively glows InfraRed. All while simultaneously showing yourself to be unmedicatably batshit insane."
Twenty year from now, a Cool Lady Liberal will say: “Man I can’t believe so-and-so Dogfucked that one into the Crapper?!”
To which the Cool Guy Liberal will reply: “I know. If she’d Schmidted that any harder, it would’ve reached escape velocity. It has given me quite the Boner!”
And then they go get all hot and slick and carnal, like we Liberals are wont to do, and afterwards, each relaxing in a blissful, post-coital repose, each coyly palmtop/WiFi, naughty-blogging their own perspective on the hot carnality of it all (as we Liberals are wont to do), Cool Lady Liberal will chuckle and opine, “If they let that creepy, old Rove fella watch teevee in Leavenworth, I’ll bet he just Shitabunny.”
Seriously, it’s that big; if it had been a few more votes -- an outright victory -- it would have completely displaced, “I would never have believed that he could’ve Keyes-ed that fucker so badly.”, but as it was, this was GOP Terrified Alert Level Red Important because Hackett started with nothing.
In a “safe” district.
If you define “nothing” solely as cash, and “safe” as the GOP can run yet another pecksniffing, acid-belching, Sopapilla-skulled Christopath with deep pockets right up the middle against token, bold-as-a-tower-of-dinner-napkins opposition.
He started with nothing. Nothing.
This was a virtually uncontested seat, deep in fastness of a cultural Mordor so written-off by the DLC that they could not be distracted from the important business of fashioning festive origami penis hats at the fancy, invitation-only “Masturbating to the Director’s Cut of “’The War Room’” party long enough to pay it any serious mind.
Hackett started with nothing...except a clear, honest voice, a vivid story and a wretched opponent. And with little more than lefty blogger lemonade-stand and paper-drive money he came within pull-my-finger distance of winning.
If you don’t understand politics, a commentator over on Atrios put it very well: This is as if Jerry Falwell had come within a handful of votes of winning a congressional seat from San Francisco.
The goal – the 100,000 vote Big Picture off of which we must never take our eyes -- is taking back the country, and this was a small battle on the leading edge of that coming storm. This was...the first ironclad showing up in the middle of a wooden navy. Yes, it’s rickety and looks funny and if you ram it hard enough it can be sunk, but its mere existence is the harbinger of things to come.
This was a win, pure simple.
A win for netroots, progressive bloggers, wielding a tremendous, new weapon with sure and steady hands. A win for bare-knuckle Democrats. A win for fighters. A win for punching back, punching hard, and never apologizing for calling a liar a liar to his face.
How do I know?
First, well, read a little history and you'll know too. The motion and direction of all contests, all battles, all movements...changes. And when momentum shifts it does not announce itself with "Surrender Dorothy" skywriting, or even a business card and a hearty handshake. That Leonidas, for example, lost the battle of Thermopylae is irrelevent. That he held the Hot Gates as long as he did with a few thousand warriors led by 300 Spartans against Xerxes' Persian Army in the hundreds of thousands...that is the pivot on which history turned.
And second...‘cause Henry II told me so.
This from “The Lion in Winter” from 1968.
You haven’t seen it? Jee-sus! Peter O'Toole? Katharine Hepburn? A Pre-Fava Bean Anthony Hopkins? Little Timmy Dalton? Well shit on a shogun, Captain, go rent the damned thing.
Immediately.
And yes, there will be a quiz.
I’ll wait...
...(humming) ...was no sound at all
But the clock upon the wall
Then the door something-something
And my daddy stepped inside
And he kissed my mama's face
And he brushed her tears away
The night Chicago died
Na-na na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
The night Chicago died
Brother what a night the people saw
Brother what a fight the peep...(humming ends)
Well...I see you’re back.
And you’ve watched it, right?
So of course you’ll remember this bit of absolutely coldblooded, clear-eyed political wisdom via Peter O'Toole's "Henry II".
Philip: "What is so satisfactory?"
Henry: "Winning is. I did just win -- surely you noticed."
Philip: "You haven't won a damn thing."
Henry: "Hmmph. I found out the way your mind works and the kind of man you are. I know your plans and expectations. You've burbled every bit of strategy you've got! I know exactly what you will do and exactly what you won't, and I've told you exactly nothing. To these aged eyes boy, that's what winning looks like!"
See? I don’t care what my students told you; I don’t assignment homework whimsically.
There’s always a reason for it.
Of course, in their case, the reason is I just love to see them cry.
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I tried to get Portman (the patrician Schmidt is replacing) to come to my class and give a talk, but everyone said -- oh, he has such a safe district, he dwon't come unless you're teaching a class with 100's of students (which I wasn't) -- and it was true -- they sent a staffer.
Hey, I sent my $25 and its money damn well spent
Bwha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
Safe no more !!!
The person who's really pissing in his pants right now is Chabot, the other Rep from Cinti, who wins with about 53% of the vote -- he really, really should go down in 2006.
Nice.
That slime trail is wide enough to encompass even Limbaugh. The Oxycontin Doughboy thinks so little of our troops that he has called 10 of them who made the ultimate sacrifice "staff pukes." He said Paul Hackett (and by extension, anyonese else assigend to military civil affairs duty) was a "staff puke."
5 "staff pukes" KIA
http://www.wect.com/Global/story.asp?S=3516836&nav=2gQcbPz1
5 more "staff pukes" KIA
http://www.reachm.com/amstreet/
Drifty honey,
Please read this again and see if you don't get the same WTF? reaction I did. I mean, that went down like a peanut butter and lint sammich... I like a good rant as much as the next guy, but depth isn't measured wavelengths.
Yam (who refuses to sign into any more shit)
InfraRed energy is heat. So the BushCo Kool-Aid drinkers are hotheads, then? I'll buy that. :-D
“American vets from Iraq war not qualified to serve in public office, GOP US House candidate says in Ohio
by John Aravosis wrote, in DC - 7/28/2005 06:10:00 PM
http://americablog.blogspot.com/2005/07/american-vets-from-iraq-war-not.html
“This is bad, seriously. Paul Hackett is running as the first Iraq war vet to run for Congress, and now his GOP opponent, Jean Schmidt, just said that being an American vet from the Iraq war is the wrong kind of experience for a member of Congress. I kid you not.
The Swift Boaters started it last year with Kerry, and Bush did the same thing to McCain in 2000. Slur a guy because he's a vet. And now we have a GOP candidate for Congress saying that service in the Iraq war apparently disqualifies you for being a member of Congress.”
Schmidt debases the living by suggesting that the over one million Americans who have served in Iraq/Afghanistan are unqualified to represent inbred hicks in Congress.
Schmidt defiles the dead because she is also saying that, because they were in uniform, the 1,800 who have died in Iraq must also have been unfit to have been in Congress.
But the Born Again Chickenhawk Virgins who are hiding out from service in Iraq under Mommy’s petticoats in DROVES because they are apparently “saving themselves” for Congress or a nice think-tank gig, these slunkmeat drones have apparently been bred for halls of power.
And if you need more icing on the cake, Drugstore Cowboy and Unreconstructed Bigot -- Fat Rush -- waddled in on the side of Schmidt, as did Ohio Fetuses for Conceal-Carry.
The GOP operates as a collective: you dance to their deeply anti-Christian, anti-American and anti-Life tune or they chop your hands off, and Jean Schmidt gladly goosesteps right along into Congress under that banner.
She wants to run with the swine, that’s her business, but fuck if I’m not going to point out that her ass smells of rancid pork when she does.
But back off?
Not one inch.
Not disagreeing on your point, which has been shown again and again that these people have no respect for anything (including themselves) that differs from their scorched earth policy of running for office, I'm commenting on that particularly fetid wad of prose. That's all. I agree whole-heartedly. Just an editorial comment.
Rock on,
Yam
In the 1990s, our local community radio station had a dark-hours-of-Saturday-morning program called "The Screemer Show" (I think that was how they spelled it) that played mostly '70s-'80s music. A feature of the show was a reverse-dedication called "dumping" in which we listeners would dedicate bad songs to one another. "PimM" was one of my favorite songs to dump on hapless souls. My very favorite dump song, however, was William Shatner's version of "Mr. Tambourine Man"--SOOOOOO bad it was good!
Wishing Shatner would cover "Smells Like Teen Spirit", Monster from the Id
Don't get too excited about Drifty's choice of lyrics, it's not often that his home town -- the East side of Chicago -- gets much mention...
Yam
Kim
my articles: financial articles
Thank you for illustrating exactly how the Ohio election demonstrates us winning.
And you are right. I believe the main reason why Paul Hackett got so much support was that he wasn't afraid to say his mind. Honestly, the back-tracking and parsing of words our politicians do, really insult our intelligence and show exactly what kind of spine these amoebas have, which are none. I hope more like Paul Hackett will step up and choose to serve our country as it should be served.
But my personal conclusion is that we are going to see a number of future elections coming down to the wire in "GOP strongholds" with the GOP winning with 3% of the vote... and we are going to buy it because we didn't even expect the Democrat (or ideally another party) to come close.. (Big Conspiracy Theory here so get out your tinfoil hats and suits ladies and gentlemen) BECAUSE THEY CAN FUCKING STEAL ELECTIONS!
I would put money down in November 2006 that very similar outcomes will happen and we will all say "Boy, we sure showed them by coming real close to handing them their Jesus highjacking, greedy fascists asses. We will show them next time."
And then we keep on saying it again and again.
http://uscountvotes.org/
check it out and see if you can figure where the "significant vote count errors" of the 2004 election occurred.
Rock on Chicago!
Uh uh. Ain't buying that dog in the window. It's too fucking ugly and is incontinent, to boot.
I hope the "victories" we'll get in '06 are of better quality than this one.
Great movie!
Some of these dingbat T & A queens, and their "action flick" male counterparts, ought to have that video or the DVD surgically implanted in their asses, so there would be some small chance they might get a tiny smidgeon of it by osmosis, if nothing else.
The dialogue in that thing crackles like 220 volts, arcing through the camera and into our senses.
We're ALL deviants here amigo, so no problem :-)
Don't get me wrong: somebody shows me some evidence, and I'll ride that horse all night long.
Seriously, the was fraud in '00 and '04...but it was big and fat and out-in-front (voter rolls, maldistribution of machines, purging Dems along with felons, etc.)
It's these people that shriek "Diebold!" and then run around in mad-hound circles every time a Coke machine doesn't give them correct change that drive me nuts. Don't they know they look EXACTLY like the people we mock on the Right? People who scream "Jesus!" every time they see a misshapen pancake?
They look like kooks, make the rest of us look like kooks, and make it that much harder for serious people to transact serious business. But worst of all, thaven't you noticed these people are always counceling doom?
ALWAYS.
Everything's rigged, everthing's fucked, everything's hopeless...so screw it, lets get high.
Pollyannas are fools, sure enough, but people who advise lay-down-and-die surrender and defeatism are not out friends.
The political pros in Ohio were saying that what happened was
"amazing" and unprecedented and I'm willing to defer to their judgement. A Dem walk nekkid into the lions den and came within a hair of winning...and this is a cause for tears?
Paul Hackett was energized and encouraged by the results: he doesn't drink from fainthearted bottle.
And Paul Hackett speaks for me :-)
jeri,
I appreciate the comments, but IMHO putting "GOP strongholds" in quotes underscores the problem. This isn't fictional. The voter regsistration numbers aren't made up out of whole cloth.
These ARE GOP strongholds, every bit as much as my Chicago ward is 90& Democratic.
These ARE full of people who really, really think they will go to Hell with the Queers and Feminists if they EVER vote Dem, and for the first time in 30 years a whole lot of them did anyway, and voted for a guy who basically called Bush a lying asshole.
This to my tired eyes looks like a good thing, but no one ever said this was going to be easy.
Hey Tanbark,
There are too many good lines to quote for it being just a single flick. Since it takes place over Christmas, I try to see it once a year as an antidote to holiday treacle :-)
Let's get one thing straight: Something crooked and underhanded went down in Ohio last night. I don't need to have evidence to know that the sun will rise in the east at about 6:30 tomorrow morning and the GOP and its dog-leg way of doing business can be counted upon every bit as much as Mr. Sun's daily arrival. I carefully read all the voter complaints from Cleveland, the city on which the Presidential race would eventually devolve, all several hundred ranging from voter intimidation, Republican challengers outnumbering Democratic ones, people wearing Kerry or anti-Bush shirts not being allowed in the polls, people being turned away from the polls just for having the Ohio Bill of Rights on them (which is in itself a violation of the OBR), even a story of a black poll worker who picked Bush for someone who only asked for help. It would be the height of stupidity and naivete to fair-mindedly and good-naturedly assume that nothing, absolutely NOTHING, dishonest took place in Ohio last night that swayed the outcome. Those people who are paranoid about Diebold? Don't be so quick to dismiss us. It's voter tabulation software that's made to be hacked into. Howard Dean and Bev Harris did it on national TV last October and changed the outcome of a fictional election. It's run on a Windows platform (and we all know how vulnerable Windows is) and all the votes over an entire state are counted on a PC like the one you and I are using right now.
But Hackett's "victory" isn't a victory. It reminds me more and more of that Ray Bradbury story "The Man" in which a guy goes from planet to planet looking for Jesus and keeps missing him by half the time as the last. 1000 years, then 500 years, down to JUST missing Jesus by minutes then seconds. Sure, I hope the Dems (and Hackett) gain ground in the coming months and years but Jesus Christ, don't expect too much while the table is still rigged, the dice loaded and the cards marked.
You make your points with clarity and passion. You don't council defeat. You stand your ground and tell the truth as you see it.
I dunno about anyone else, but I count these all as invaluable traits in an ally and fellow traveler. Hardly attributes anyone would want to discourage :-)
On this particlar matter, you give me Bradbury, which I appreciate and understand.
In return, let me offer a little Holmes from "Scandal in Bohemia": "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts."
As to moral victories, well, I'll take 'em where I find 'em. When Reagan almost knocked off Ford in 1976...and weakened him enough to help Carter win, the Right was disappointed, but they learned from it. It was a "moral victory", albeit for some highly immoral people, that showed them how to win four years later.
I agree we see some chipping away at the Republican strengths, especially on this day when we lost so many more Marines.
But the "insurgents" in Iraq and the Republicans both learn from their opponents, shift their strategies, and adapt so that they win. The Dems seem completely incapable of that, case in point that Bob Schrum still gets hired on every Dem presidential campaign that has a shot, time and time again losing. But he keeps getting rehired because he's one of the boys. Dems are playing from an old team manual. Republicans are sharpening new technologies (Rove-speak and Diebold machines).
The old boy network, some serious arrogance in party leadership, and a lack of good ideas are sinking the Dems. I don't think they have the ability to focus on anything clearly enough to face down and do the hard work of investigating the voter fraud allegations. They're too afraid to lose in the court of public opinion and heaven forbid they lose any contributions when the other side is so dripping in dough.
And on a related note: how CAN Carville and Matalin have sex? If there's a metaphor for this political struggle anywhere it's their relationship. She must have the power and the good ol' boy just likes taking what she dishes out. I'm seeing Red and Blue in a whole new way (that's kinda grossing me out), but it's not making me optimistic for the Blue team. In fact, it's makin' me blue.
But keep trying to make me believe. I tune in here daily for something - more than even the great writing.
Once again to the fascist-enabling whiners: YOU SUCK. YOU TRULY SUCK. HOW MUCH DID YOU GET FOR YOUR SOULS?
From internal exile, Monster from the Id
But seriously, I do see your point dg and I will amend the errors of my ways...
if you will admit that we are being reamed up the asshole by the deficit-building, big-govment long arm of the Republican party and that they are systematically dismantling pretty much everything we've created since, oh lets say, the 2nd Roosevelt because they pretty much feel like they are entitled to.
AND that is the dangerous aspect of this.. because if they wanted to, there would be nothing to stop them from feeling like they could alter elections. IT all boils down to the concept that they are smugly sitting on "saved" asses and they can fuck us all up along with the earth...
When you have that kind of omnipotent attitude, then really the whole fucking world is your oyster to slurp down, digest, and shit out.
But you are right, if we can get them genuflecting* Jebus loving ignoramuses to see their star ain't hitched to the GOPs and reel them in on the side of us Freedom loving hippies, Feminists, Queers, Metrosexuals, and Scientists, then we might have ourselves a chance...
ESPECIALLY IF THE REAL REPUBLICANS WOULD PULL THEIR COLLECTIVE NUTSACK OUT FROM THE SHRIVELED SHELF OF HUMAN FLESH IT HAS BEEN HIDING IN SINCE THE 2000 SOUTH CAROLINA PRIMARY.
Would the Real Republicans please stand up!?!
*not pertaining to any specific Jebus loving sect, but to all Jebus loving sects.
So, why couldn't the superstructure of corruption maintain itself for any amount of time in a congressional district in Ohio since it can do so on a national level with ease? Hell, lookit the fucking Christian Right. You think they were bad during the Reagan era? You'd have to go back to the fucking days of Savonarola to see a religious fascism on this scale.
Another curious incident regarding the vote that again favored the Republicans.
A candidate that called Bush a Son of a Bitch.
One that called the Iraq invasion a mistake.
Senator Hackett was my first thought.
Figuring out how we are going to secure the '06 vote the other.
There is nothing conspiracy theoryish about Bush receiving @ 4000 votes in an Ohio district with 800 registered voters, is there?
What?! Is that all you got? Two words, homes: "Muskrat Love." And you don't even need a "MacArthur Park" chaser to finish the job--;)
Not a lot of people know this, but I've got a heartbeat, AND -- wierdly enough --
it's a lovebeat
And a lovebeat is a good vibration
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