Thursday, August 04, 2005

Carville Discovers Novak’s Launch Codes.



Sneering, dyspeptic traitor loses his mind on the air.

Maybe the voices are coming from that there cup?

No?

Well, did a loyal American cameraman perhaps land a priest-blessed silver flickdart in the oily flanks of Human Gallstone, Bobby Novak?

Did some someone opening a window on the other side of the building set in motion a never-to-be-reproduced, trick-pool-shot with a ray of sunlight reflecting off of a pair of spectacles, caroming from a watch-face, ricocheting from a hand-mirror and refracting from the newly squeegeed framed Hockney print in the hall...only to land on the undead flesh of he-who-was-cobble-together-from-Krauthammer-leftovers, searing the beast and sending him into a smoking, insane rage.

Did someone slip a little Holy Water into his vinegar and Victory Gin onscreen beverage?

No, but one thing is clear: the Number One Rightwing Golem “journalist” lost it on-camera. Something got all burr-ish under the saddle of CIA-outing, GOP ponyboy. The good people at Crooks and Liars had it up in seconds, and it seems to make no sense at all.

He and James Carville are chatting, and suddenly he shout’s “Bullshit”, gets up and stomps away.

God have mercy on Bob Novak’s dog tonight.

But a crack team of audiologists and out-of-work Zapruder film analysts went into the lab, and they found, just below the audible level, a series of almost subsonic commands being sent from Carville to Novak.

Here, in pictures, is that strange story. (Oh, and BloggerBot is drunk or senile or something, so I’m going to try this with regular links that may or may not result in embarrassing failure that will shame my family unto the twelfth generation.)

Here we see Karl Rove conducting his popular “Treason for Dummies” seminar. Shown here are Novak, Hume, Scooter, Scotty Dog, Jeff Gannon among others.



Later, Judith Miller and Bob Novak talk a little treason.

“No Bob, Ahmad promised me the job of Imperial Consort. You don’t have the legs for it. Besides, I’ve written a column...

“The column is short. But it's the most rousing column I've ever written. It's been worked on, here and in Iraq, on and off, for over eight years.

“I shall force someone to take “My Little Goat” away from him and George will really hit those microphones and those cameras with blood all over him, fighting off anyone who tries to help him, defending America even if it means his own death, rallying a nation of television viewers to hysteria, to sweep us up into the White House with powers that will make martial law seem like anarchy.

"Now, this is very important. I want Plame taken out two weeks after he begins his State of the Union speech -- depending on his reading time under pressure.

"You are to hit her if her husband raises a ruckus over the phrase, 'The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa. Our intelligence sources tell us that he has attempted to purchase high-strength aluminum tubes suitable for nuclear weapons production. Saddam Hussein has not credibly explained these activities.' Is that absolutely clear? "


After lots of trial and error and watching the movie and noting the striking similarity between Angela Lansbury and Mary Matalin...

...Carville figures it out!


In the Green Room together...

...Carville and Novak count down the seconds


Just before walking on-set...

...Carville confronts Novak!


First, in a close-magic move he learned from Penn Jillette, Carville flashes Novak a Queen of Diamonds.

Second, in a subvocalizing move he learned from Waylon Flowers, Carville begins to speak.

“Robert? I want to answer me in that special way that Dr. Waylon Flowers taught you. Ok Robert?”

”Yes...sir.”

“Robert. Listen carefully. Are you listening?”

”Yes...sir.”

“We are about the have a conversation about your hideous, Joan Crawford corpse make-up. Do you understand, Robert?”

“Yes...sir. My...Joan Crawford...corpse make-up.”

“And while we talk, I will I say ‘Editorial Page’. What will I say, Robert?”

“‘Editorial Page’...sir.”

“When I say that, Robert, you will find yourself on a date. Do you understand Robert?”

“Yes...sir.”

“A date, Robert. Another date with another young lady you have tricked into dining with you.”

“Yes...sir.”

"She rebukes your creepy advances – as all the others have."

“Yes...sir.”

“At that moment, the fact that you will never, ever stick your diseased pecker or drain your bloated poison sac into something you didn’t hire, drug or pick up at the pet store again falls upon you like a federal indictment.”

“Yes...sir.”

“Are you ready Robert?”

“Yes...sir.”

Click here to see what happened next...

624 comments:

1 – 200 of 624   Newer›   Newest»
Aladdin Sane said...

Dr. Waylon Flowers?
Driftglass, you mofo, you made me spill my wine for the laughing...

Fast Eddy said...

Drift, I know you (and everyone on this site) like good writing. So I'm putting this little piece up here. It's not mine (although I wish it was). It's not just the writing (which is good) but the point it makes. It's by a writer to Eric Alterman's column on MSNBC.com. The writer takes a bit of time to get to the point, but give him a chance. I won't say any more, in order to avoid spoiling it.

****************

One of the things that redeemed the second season of "The Sopranos," which had gone all wobbly after a good start, was the unblinkingly cruel subplot about David Scatino, a boyhood friend of mobster Tony Soprano, who talks his way into one of Tony's high-stakes poker games and almost instantly buries himself under an unpayable mountain of debts. It quickly turns out that Tony knew about Scatino's compulsive gambling problem, but let him into the game anyway because Scatino and his wife own a successful sporting-goods store. What follows is more frightening than any monster movie. After siphoning out Scatino's bank account (including his son's college fund), Tony and his cronies gorge themselves on the store's credit lines, buying up easily resold big-ticket merchandise and leaving the store awash in hundreds of thousands of dollars in bills. The business dissolves into bankruptcy, taking with it Scatino's marriage (his wife divorces him), his family (his son, cheated out of an Ivy League future, hates him) and a good portion of his sanity. In the end, as he prepares to embark on his new life as a drifter and day-laborer, Scatino asks Tony why he let him destroy himself. After all, haven't they known each other since childhood? Tony replies with the story of the frog and the scorpion. "This is what I am," Tony says. "This is what I do."

What we've just seen is a variation on an old con called a bust-out. Usually it involves con men offering to buy a business, making a partial payment to gain access to the firm's credit and name, and then hollowing out the company's finances by running up the existing credit lines and opening new ones, all of which are maxed out to buy electronic gear and anything else that can be resold quickly at a fraction of its value. For the con men involved in the bust-out, it's all gravy. The phony buyer -- usually a shell company with no discernible assets -- defaults and the business reverts to its original owner, by which time the once-thriving firm has been turned into a rotting hulk ready to have its bones picked clean by creditors.

The Bush family has often been referred to as the WASP version of the Corleones, but the Soprano clan makes for a much better comparison. At its best, "The Sopranos" is an acid mockery of the phony gravitas of the three "Godfather" movies. Where Michael Corleone is heroically evil, an international player who consorts with statesmen and the Vatican before succumbing to his tragic flaw, Tony Soprano is a sewer rat engaged in the grubby business of preying on human weakness and fear — when his fall comes, it will be tragic only to himself. Until then, however, he's going to make as much money as he can for himself and his buddies, and leave the rest of the world holding the bill. I'm not just using hyperbole here. I do think that when honest historians assess the Bush administration, they will find it more useful to treat George II and his Republican cronies as a criminal organization rather than a political party.

The best tool for analyzing Bush's policies is not historiography, but the procedures used by federal agents as they pursue a RICO investigation into a mobbed-up business. Take the money and run. As long as Republicans are in power, that phrase should replace "E Pluribus Unum" on the national seal. It's the natural outcome of a quarter-century of rhetoric about how government is the problem, not the solution; how government doesn't work; how deregulation is the only way to build the economy. If government is nothing but a taxpayer-funded scam, then why not use it to enrich yourself and your buddies? If the very idea of public service as an idealistic calling has been turned into a mealymouthed joke, then where's the shame in abusing power and running the country into the ground? As long as you can convince just over 50 percent of the suckers to vote your way, you can throw yourself a party and leave the world holding the bill. This is what they are. This is what they do.

Didn't they tell you? The recess appointment of John Bolton as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations is all of a piece with this scenario. Even many Republicans find this loudmouthed dolt hard to take; certainly no foreign leader will be able to take him seriously as a player on the world stage. Bolton will face a building full of career diplomats who know his nomination was dead in the Senate, that he had to be smuggled into office under cover of darkness, that the best they can expect is three years of low-down entertainment until the Bushies pack up their swag and head for the hills. If you despise the very idea of the United Nations -- and if your core voting bloc cherishes Satanic conspiracy fantasies about the UN being the Antichrist's method for achieving one-world government -- then an ambassador capable of effective diplomacy is unnecessary. The important thing is that a plum job went to a crony. Sure, he may very well be implicated in the Valerie Plame case, but after a couple of years on the government sugar tit he'll be able to lawyer himself up and hold the prosecutors at bay for a long time.

Insane tax cuts for the wealthy. Delusional military ventures abroad. From the minute the Bushies took power, their biggest concern has been to break open the cash registers, empty the shelves and open the bank vaults. Stewardship is a joke to them. What we are witnessing may very well be the biggest bust-out in human history. And if you, good citizen, are wondering where you fit into this picture, just cast your mind back to the last episode of the second season of "The Sopranos." One of the closing shots shows us David Scatino in an empty parking lot, tying some gear to the top of his car as he prepares to leave his ruined life behind him. He wanted to play poker with the big boys, so you can say he brought his troubles on himself. A majority of Americans voted for Bush in at least one of the last two elections, so you can say we brought this on ourselves. In Scatino's case, human weakness created a business opportunity for Tony Soprano. America's weakness created a business opportunity for the Republicans. With the national press at a historic low ebb, the Democratic Party flat on its back and the airwaves humming with wingnut propaganda, the pickings couldn't be any richer. They saw their chance and they took it. That's what they are. That's what they do.

by Steven Hart, Highland Park, N.J.

Joe Max said...

Brave Sir Robert ran away!
Bravely, ran away...away...

When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled!

Yes, brave Sir Robert turned about
And gallantly he chickened out!

Bravely talking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat!

Bravest of the brave, Sir Robert...

Mentis Fugit said...

Hmm, what's the Latin for "take the money and run"? Bet it sounds good.

Any Latiphones (I made that word up because I'm too lazy to find out what the real term is) here who can correct "carpe aeraria et fugitum"?

Perdita said...

There are very few people who don't become more interesting when they stop talking. - Mary Lowry

Who knew I'd ever find Novak interesting.

Tanbark said...

Jesus fucking CHRIST, can't we get just one dipshit post on here, so I can rest my brain for a bit?

I mean, it's like I have walk through the goddamn door waving a goddamn straight-razor, just to get to my seat, there are so many sharpies posting on here.

Where the fuck is Bloomie when I need him? :o)

And Drift; that first line on Novak?

I've finally got you figured out. Don't know what took me so long. :o)

You get more piss and vinegar into one sentence than any human being who ever picked up a writing implement.

Reading you is like trying to eat a Souffle' made of nothing but truffles, HEAVY swiss-chocolate, Oreos, and muriatic acid.

Don't stop now; I'm gettin' to where I like it. :o)

Tanbark said...

BTW, FastEddy, HELL of a post!

Where can we find Steven Hart?

Anonymous said...

Driftglass- One day when they collect your on-line blogs musings and PENGUIN BOOKS publishes 'The Essential Driftglass' Anthology- Vol I (Wilderness;The Early Years)., please please PLEASE post a few HALO comments from your fans. It's hard enough now a days to get 15 minutes of fame-I'll settle for 2 seconds.

You ARE good!

-R. Dickson

Fast Eddy said...

Why thank you kindly Tanbark. After the fact I noticed that Steven Hart had a link attached to his name: http://www.theopinionmill.com/Scatino.html

The same piece can be found there, dunno if any others can be. So I should simply have posted the link. Sorry about that. Still, a nice piece of writing, elegant in its logic.

jurassicpork said...

Good post, Fast Eddy, and quite on the mark. It's exactly the sort of observation I'd make except I fear that you may've put more thought into it and qualified more than I would have the time or the wits to do. I'm forever making comparisons between the Bush junta and movies and TV shows, so this post was right up my alley.

Why didn't you think of this, Drifty? You going soft on us, MAGGOT? What, are you gonna CRY? There's no crying in blogging!!!!!

Seriously, good and viciously post, too, DG. I think I may've made one or two comparisons using THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (what did you think of the new one with Denzel?) and this one was inspired. I would've already mentioned this grumpy old man senior moment on CNN but I'm saving up my ammo for a super duper, giant, deluxe Assclown of the Week posting.

StealthBadger said...

"Carville Discovers Novak’s Launch Codes."

If we take up a collection, think he could be convinced to taking his technique to a White House press conference? I wanna see Scott McClellan have a thermonuclear dumbout. ^^

Loveandlight said...

Tanbark:

It would be fucking hilarious if we actually had a real live dipshit troll here sometime. The image that comes to mind is of dipshit troll running out the Driftglass Saloon holding his throbbing ass with both hands and sobbing pitifully, and before the shutters swing back shut, we see Uncle Drifty standing there at the doorway holding a paddle with a Joker-like smile on his face saying, "Y'all come back real soon now, y'hear?"

Mr. Natural said...

Driftie, the comments are as good as the original post! You draw a good crowd!

driftglass said...

Seriously, mr. natural. The commentators around these parts, they just knock me out. Funny and thoughtful and incisive. And when there's a disagreement (and when don't lefties disagree vehemently :-) its always a worthy, fascinating and respectful debate.

The shit I learn by listening just amazes me.

Tanbark said...

Loveandlight, eons ago, over at Chez Gilliard, before Drift got his own place, did you catch his "Uncle Driftglass talks to Bloomie" piece?

ShitFIRE it was GOOD!

I mean, a HOWL! :o) :o) :o)

Drift, you need to have a "classic" archive, where we can visit that, and your other stuff, too.

Lesseee...where are we?

Well, on my bluegrass site, which is a pretty good bellweather for juuuust how far up their asses "those people" (to turn Lee's phrase around on THEM) have their heads, things alternate between bright-eyed, bushy-tailed hear-no-Iraq; see-no-Iraq; speak-no-Iraq discussions of who makes (or picks) the best banjo, and a (they would prefer...) deafening silence regarding events there.
I'm usually the one who (we have a section for non-BG subjects) lifts the lid on the dumpsterful of worms, and everytime a newbie, shocked at my unpatriotically pointing out that the worms are getting to be roughly the size of Reticulate Pythons (except, with the toxic capability of an Australian Death Adder) starts complaining, I welcome him aboard and ask him if he brought a "plan" with him. :o)

(And that, preferably, he should make it public before the mid-terms. :o))

Because I like talking about the "plan"...:o)

As we all know, the mayhem and carnage in Iraq accidentally descended on us in a shower of golden Allahpiss, and the bushmasters, these days, are very fond of asking those few lefties there (kinda like Madonna asking Dennis Rodman if he knows how to restore her virginity): "What's YOUR plan?"

I, nothing loathe, tell them the same thing that I've been saying for lo, these 32 months:

"There is no plan. I don't have one, and none of you guys have one, either. No "good" ending for this fucking of the cluster is possible, or at least, not one that is generally meant by the word "good"."

(I also add that I firmly believe Iraq is heading for partition, which will have it's OWN set of miseries for us...)

And then, of course, I ask them who they think should be RESPONSIBLE for coming up with a "plan":

A: The people who opposed this
corporate porn-flick sequel to
"Debbie does Dallas", i.e.,
"Junior-and-Halliburton-do- Baghdad", or:

B: The people who have supported
it?

So far, I don't have an answer, and when I DO get a response to MY request for a "plan", I basically get "stay the course".

Then I ask the "course-stayers" if they plan to stay the course in front of their computer in their air-conditioned room, or if they plan to stay the course in Anbar Province?

Some of them get downright outraged that I would be so cyinical, but, to their credit, they have grudgingly accepted that, just like Iraq, I'm not going away, and the slings and barbs have their limits, as does the f*****g language, since we ARE a family BG site.

All snark aside, the music glue is holding the place together, which is good, and there are even some light-hearted moments, after which, given what we're doing in Iraq, I feel guilty.

I'd briefly thought about inviting Driftglass over as guest pisser-offer, but he don't pick, and debate-wise it would be like siccing a 90 pound pit-bull onto a litter of new-born kittens.

Not good. I'd just have more guilt to deal with. :o)

A few more lefties, emboldened, I think by my walking around in the "jam" with my Clintonesqe "third member" hanging out, are chiming in, and it's fun to see the surprise in the winger 'grassers, as they discover that the "good ol' boy kick-ass" football team has, metaphorically speaking, a few "good ol' cocksuckers" on it. :o)

I will say, these people are trying; they're trying. A while back, we had a HOT debate about the Gay Episcopal cleric who was picked for a high place in the church. The tone was bitter, but not service-station-wall abusive, and then!

A guy "came out"!...brother of one of the ladies who posts there regularly, with a thorougly decent and thoughtful post about how he was what he was, and had no more choice in the matter than did the horniest hetero teen-age boy, trying to get in some hottie of a cheerleader's britches.

It got real quiet, because it moved from "theoretical" to "practical". His name was Tommy, and he hasn't been back, but no one ran him off, AND! to a man, we asked him to stay.
It was...transcendant...I didn't go after anyone for 3 days.

Anyway, that's the news from Lake Rubberdong, where the women, ESPECIALLY Alecia Nugent, sing good, hard-driving bluegrass (mostly), and the men are...learning. :o)

Loveandlight said...

Driftglass:

I have often been told that I reek of wisdom; and something else that nobody has as of yet been able to identify! :-D

Loveandlight said...

Tanbark:

Would it possible for you to link to this transcendant post of which you speak?

Tanbark said...

Love, I can't. It happened at the time of the Episcopal Church's coming out of the....sacristy (or whatever that room is) which was over a year ago. And we had recently had a...purgative...period, where one guy who wasn't into politics, but just viciously pissed off nearly everyone on the site, and did some threatening, to boot, was wrecking the place, and I started following him around, offering to leave AND STAY GONE, if he would, too.
But then Rafe put in a system whereby we could vote people off the island, and SHAZAAM! I withdrew my offer, and Homer got booted. But let me tell you, it was rancid, for a while, and I think Rafe just decided to give us a fresh page to write on, and he went in and dumped all the old threads. It's too bad, because when I was on the Homer-hunt, I put up some truly inspired poisonous stuff, if I do say so myself. :o) What was too funny, was that one of the staunchest conservatives on there joined in the hunt with me, and we hounded him on every post he put up. It was like I was in therapy, talking to a shrink. I never realized how savage I could be. But I digress...:o)

Here's the story...(only in america...kinda makes me proud:))

The guy that built the BG site where I hang out, which is www.bluegrassrules.com, is a good guy. A conservative...but, read on ...

He had it up for maybe two years before I found it and started posting. At that time, it was two forums: the "Tribe" side, for bluegrass and bluegrass-related subjects, and "The Back Porch" for non-bluegrass threads.
He did NOT intend for the "porch" to be a rowdy-assed town-hall meeting type place. BUT, when I first got on, a few months before junior pulled the trigger on Iraq, there WERE some political posts; all from the right side of the aisle. ALL about how Bill and Hillary were the satanic couple from hell, complete with Clinton jokes and the occasional photoshopped pic of Bill with his hand up some young girl's skirt.

I stood it for a while, and then as it started lookin' more and more like asshole was going to do what he finally did, I got panicky, and I said to myself:

"WTF. I pick a little. I'm a bluegrass fan. I can type. I can post. Here I go."

It was a shock. I mean, I WAS the discouraging word, as I made fun (by tossing Henry Hyde, Dan Burton, Helen "I-wasn't-married-at-the-time-I-was-fucking-that-married-man-so-that-makes-it-OK!" Chenowyth, Bob Livingston, Bob Barr, Newt Gingrich, etc., at them) of their obsession with Ken Starr and the republican pussy-posse, and, more desperately, begged them to reconsider their support for what bush was about to do.

It got...testy...more than, sometimes, but we observed the same basic "no threats-no stalkin' and no outrageous personal insults", that we do here, and (mostly) at Steve's place.

(Okay. I busted the last one all to hell and gone, with "How stupid can someone be", etc. and I sure-god kicked open the closetful of "shitfuckandpiss" tools, and I found out that, like ANY Irishman worth a tinker's damn, I LOVED using sarcasm, and here I was with a buffet table full of scrumptious knee-jerk entree's to jizz it onto.:o))

Some people complained openly about my posts.

24 hours post-invasion:

"Now it's done. Shut up and support the troops!"

nuh-uhhh....I was just getting started.:o)

So we got the debate cranked up, and I learned some things.

There were people who, pre-cantankerous, NEVER posted on the "porch" side, but who INSTANTLY put up messages to the effect that "it used to be so nice here, and now it's all argy-bargy and I'm leaving because I can't stand it anymore..."
This was followed by
some other posts of "SEE! Tanbark, you're ruining the site!"

Well, I was sure climbing up on the BluegrassRules dining room table, and hanging a big, steaming left-wing shit in the middle of the orange sherbert congeal; no doubt of that, but it WAS on the porch, and I pointed out that the "leavers" never complained when their fellow wingers were savaging the entire Clinton family, and people only started bitching when I started pointing out that a wandering presidential dick really wasn't all THAT much worse than a wandering Speaker of The House dick.

Anyway, it went on, and it's still going on, and I'd love to see some of the emails that Rafe got from the rank and file, asking that I be booted. But I kept playing the "town-hall-meeting" card, and he bought it, I guess, because I'm still there, and I've picked up some help, and even 'though we have monitors, including one little Virginia redhead who is a rabid conservative, but who sings like a mountain nightingale, and who is so wonderfully full of clever piss and vinegar, and who is SO cute, that I would get down on all fours and bark like a dog, for a chance to get in her britches.:o)
She hath not yanked my chain, almost certainly suspecting, across the electronic miles, what I have just confessed to. (she DOES know I'm an oldfart. I'm not THAT dishonest.)

I even reminded them that one Earl Scruggs, a banjoist of some modest ability, had lent his considerable and patently AMERICAN presence, to one of the largest anti-war rallies that took place, during the unwinding of the Vietnamese debacle.

(I wanted him to pick "Little Darlin' Pal of Mine", with Joan Baez, but they had other, Nixonian fish to fry.)

After the Homer-hunt, we sorta/kinda took a deep breath, and no one had much to say that was controversial, for a couple of weeks, but life goes on, and now, like Tom Sawyer, out of school, I'm back into "devilment", asking if anyone's got a "plan", and taunting them when the plan is just "stay the intercourse".

The posting is definitely NOT of the caliber that is on here. (How could it be?) and I don't think any of you would find it very interesting. My 2C, you're welcome to come and read, but since I expect that none of you are BG fans, I would ask you not to shoot any of the fish in my "private" bluegrass barrel. They're all mine, and my conservative pickin' buds have been scrupulous about not loading up the site with "non-family", and I have, too.

Best we keep it that way. You aint missin' much. :o)

Anyway, hugs to all of you. Drift, and Steve, have given us a couple of great places to visit, and to recharge our batteries.

Good on 'em...:o)

Loveandlight said...

That's quite alright, Tanbark. I just thought I might want to read over what this guy said just in case the day should come when I find myself addressing a group of hostile straight-boys and I need some rhetorical tools. I also know some elementary self-defense moves, but I would much rather it not come to that.

tanbark said...

Love, I think Tommy, the guy that came out, was not a bluegrass person. His sister was, and she posts there regularly.

The tone of the conservative arguments on the site were not rabid, or overtly hateful. The site is not a large one, probably 60-70 "regulars", and there was very little foaming-at-the-mouth hatred pointed at gays. Rafe, the site owner, wouldn't have tolerated it. (He instantly bounced one guy for using the "N" word in a civil-rights debate) It was more the "They shouldn't be teaching our kids" kind of shit, and the "they need help" stuff. Which is bad enough, of course.
Tommy's sister did most of the talking, and, without apologizing for his homosexuality, simply pointed out that he had no choice in the matter, and that while he'd tried to date girls, and live a "straight" life, it was just a lie, and that he, as much as anyone else, had the right to choose how he would live his life, and with whom, and to NOT BE PUNISHED FOR IT.
As usual, it was the more zealous Christians on the site (to the place's credit, there aren't all THAT many of them, even in this roots music in general.) who were up in arms about the Gays gaining positions of influence in the Episcopal, and other, churches.

I finally got mad and told one of them that God doesn't give a SHIT what goes in which hole, just like he doesn't care if you play a Martin guitar or a Guild guitar.

When we mix it up over there, it's not like I was on LGF, dealing with those fucking Ernst Rohm assholes. We don't cuss as much on "rules". In fact, I'm practically the only one who does, and I'm the snark champ, too, since I LOVVVE being the turd in the punchbowl there, and showing off my "backstroke and freestyle" in, metaphorically speaking, my Speedo pecker-checkers. ::o)

We do occasionally have some fundy who puts up an Old Testament type rant.
One called me the equivalent of the Serpent in Eden, deceiving people with "Satan's clever logic".

Shit, I could have PAID Driftglass a cool thou, and he couldn't have hung me a fatter curve ball than that one. :o)

I thanked him profusely for the compliment, then put up that neat series of "questions" based on the biblical passages, themselves. You know, the ones like not approaching the throne of God if you've got bad eyesight.

(Does it have to be 20-20, or is there some wiggle-room here? :o))

And: If your brother dies, you have to marry his sister.

And: If people work on Sunday, they should be stoned to death.

(I asked my Christian click-pal if Sunday bass-fishing was cool, or ENJOYING A GOOD, TIGHT BG BAND TEARING IT UP AT SOME FESTIVAL, but he never answered me...)

I finally wound up my post by (as proof of my good will) offering him a bite of my apple, and signed off:

Lawrence "rattler" Dunnagan.

I don't think he ever posted on "rules" again....

nope said...

Hi,

I'm sorry for being intrusive in to your blog. But I am Melissa and I am a mother of two that is just trying to get out of an incredible financial debt. See my hubby is away in Iraq trying to protect this great country that we live in, and I am at home with our two kids telling bill collectors please be patiant. When my husband returns from war we will beable to catch up on our payments. We have already had are 2001 Ford repossessed from the bank, and are now down to a 83 buick that is rusted from front to back and the heater don't work, and tire tax is due in November.

I'm not asking for your pitty because we got our ownselfs into this mess but we would love you and thank you in our prayers if you would just keep this link on your blog for others to view.

God Bless You.

Melissa K. W.
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