Shorter Trump Presser

In case you missed Piggy's post-SCOTUS rebuke of his tariff regime...here's the short version.

The six justices who voted against the tariffs are a disgrace and betrayed ’Murrica. 

The Democrats on the Court did it because Dems want to destroy ’Murrica. The Republicans on the Court who overturned Trump’s tariff regime — including the two muppets he himself appointed — are actually RINO stooges under the influence of foreign powers.

But it doesn’t matter, because what the decision really said was that I have vastly more power to tariff, embargo, and destroy other countries than ever. I can destroy anyone. Any country. I tried to be nice before. I was a good boy. But now? Forget it.

Biden was incompetent. 

This country was dead a year and a half ago. Dead. Now we’re the hottest country in the world.  Barely legal but tits out to *here*!  And that ass!  

Every president but me was stupid for not using tariffs to make us all rich.

I’m very good at reading!

Brett Kavanaugh is a good lil’ stooge who’s gonna get two scoops. His dissent is genius, and you have to be a radical left lunatic to disagree.

I won. In a landslide. There was so much cheating, but I still won.

Yadda yadda yadda. All the usual demented rambling claptrap intermixed with the usual lies from a degenerate old criminal whose brain is turning to prune dip before our eyes. I’m sure I missed some of the finer points, since after a few minutes of this maniac slurring and stumbling us onto the ash heap of history, it all sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher — if that teacher were George Wallace, drunk and brain-damaged.

And if this makes your blood boil, don’t forget to thank your Republican neighbors, co-workers, and fellow churchgoers for putting this depraved, bigoted monster back in the Oval Office.

No Half Measures