The Totally True Story Of How The Professional Left Podcast Came To Be

So Blue Gal and I are parked at the Heartland, nursing cold coffee, spit-balling ideas for the Professional Left podcast. This must be fifteen, sixteen years back.

In staggers three frat-necks, last-call refugees.

One squints at us.  “Who the hell you two supposed to be?”

“We’re the Professional Left Podcast.”

“'Podcast'?” the other says. “The fuck is a 'podcast'?”

We give ’em the kindergarten version.

“So lemme get this straight,” he says. “You yap at each other about crap nobody cares about, play it back for nobody, and you call it professional?”

They lose it, fall all over themselves.

So I say, “Alright, heroes.  What’s your gig?   Professionally?”

Bald Tatts goes, “I get mopes to eat bugs, and get kicked in the nads.”

“This by you is a profession?”

“Pays great. Better’n your whatever-cast.”

(So was that Joe Rogan?

At this point, we don’t know.)

Next guy pipes up. Chest out.  “I don’t fart around on a mic. I get guys elected. Pro-fess-ionally. Just got hired by Mitt Romney. Ever heard of him?”

They cackle like hyenas.

(So was that Tim Miller?

At this point, we still don’t know.)

Then Bug Boy and Romney Boy shove the third forward.

“Tell ’em. Show these clowns what pro looks like.”

Third guy goes, “Damn right. I write jokes. For the President of the United States. Ever heard of him? That Biden-pizza-Indiana bit? That was mine.”

(So was that  Jon Favreau?

At this point, we're still not sure.)

Bug Boy says, “My crew’s goin’ places. President Hillary. President Romney. Whatever.”

Joke Guy goes, “And nobody’s ever gettin’ tired of bug-eatin’.”

Romney Boy adds, “And no way you'll ever catch us babblin’ into a mic beggin’ randos for beer money.”

They stagger away, laughing.

And that -- swear on a stack -- is how the Professional Left Podcast was born.

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