Wednesday, October 01, 2025

17 Things I Would Rather Do Than Write Another Fucking Post About Newton Leroy Gingrich



  1. Competitive Lego barefoot sprints.

  2. Zero-gee, extreme pogo-sticking in a tin shed full of rats.

  3. Genital dental floss tug-of-war.

  4. High altitude cactus diving.

  5. Ghost pepper papercut origami. 

  6. Extreme Light Infrastructure Nuclear Physics  laser tag.

  7. Electric cable Double Dutch. 

  8. Vogon poetry.

  9. Trump singing "My Way" and stopping to "explain" that he wrote it every few lines. 

  10. Water balloon dodgeball, subzero, at-home version.  

  11. Schrödinger's Cat's Revenge. 

  12. Frozen oranges "pillow" fight.

  13. Waking up on a seven day National Review cruise.

  14. Waking up on a 17 day National Review cruise.

  15. Random detonation solitaire.

  16. Hornet nest dodgeball.

  17. Write two more posts about Newt Fucking Gingrich.  

I had foolishly hoped that we were all done with Gingrich.  That he had evaporated, or sunk back into the primordial proto-MAGA slime from whence he came.

But every time I think we're out, the legacy media drags him back in.  So it appears I have been summoned:
New York Times Guest Essay

There’s Only One Way to Win a Shutdown. Democrats Don’t Have What It Takes.

By Newt Gingrich
Which I guess I'll be back sometime later with that.



No Half Measures

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

History will treat this man as another Copperhead traitor.

Anonymous said...

Robt says
Think you are aggravated with the continual cockroach finding its way into the light..
Could you imagine what words the Pope would string together in his prayers after having the Newt's third wife appointed aa ambassador to the Vatican?
Goes to show how republicans so hold vile for religion.
As John the Baptist would ask of the republican Romans of his time. "Just what religion do you adhere"? "Whom is the God of your religion?

Anonymous said...

To whom it may concern
White House cult spokesperson Levitt raised her voice to tell us that, Democrats will be responsible for the layoffs Trump promised he would do.
Not counting the layoffs and firings he has already committed.
Thank you for listening to this message