Once upon a time there were two neighbors separated by a tall fence.
On one side of the fence, the blue household kept a cozy home and did enough gardening so they could help feed some of the poorer residents of the neighborhood. They composted, recycled, took in strays and so forth. Over their house they flew an American flag, a Pro-Choice flag, a Welcoming Community flag and a Pride flag.
On the other side of the fence, the red household spent most of their time shrieking that their blue neighbors were baby-killing, commie monsters. Over their house they flew a dozen MAGA flags big enough to blot out the sun, and at night they would dump garbage over the fence.
One day, the giant MAGA flag was supplemented with a giant Nazi flag. Shortly thereafter there was a knock at the door of the blue house. It was a few people from the red house. They had been kicked out. The whole Nazi thing had been too much for them, and they had said so, so the other reds had run them out of the place.
Seems that freedom of speech wasn't as free as they thought.
Now they were homeless, and they knew softhearted blues took in strays, so...
"Here's the deal," their spokesperson said. "You'll feed us and clothe us. We'll sleep in your beds. And you'll pay us for the privilege of allowing you to wait on us. Deal?"
"Will you stop calling us commies?"
"No."
"Will you stop calling us baby murders?"
"No."
"Will you help with the chores? Composting, gardening and such?"
"No."
"Well what exactly do you plan of doing while you're here?"
The red spokesperson sighed and great, impatient sigh. Such ingratitude! Wasn't in enough that they were letting these lowly, baby-killing commies cook their meals and do their laundry?
"Ok, here's our final offer. When they throw garbage over the fence, we'll throw some of it back. In exchange for this service, you will pay us ten million dollars. A year."
A few of the blues objected on the grounds that this was insane. These clowns had created the very mob that had kicked them out, and they had created that mob by calling us baby-killing, commie monsters every day for the last 30 years. For fuck's sake, instead of continuing to call us baby-killing, commie monsters and acting like they're doing us a favor by letting them take over our house, at a minimum don't you think they should apologize? Y'know, own up to what they did just like we teach every kindergartener to do?
But these Grump Gus were overruled and, ironically, scolded for being so intolerant. You can't ask these adult professional who made a career out of slandering us in the ugliest ways imaginable to say they're sorry. That's crazy. Besides, with these few, unreconstructed reds now signed up to help throw garbage back over the fence, surely the other reds on the other side of the fence would soon see the error of their ways and back off.
But they didn't back off.
In fact, the shouting got louder. The flags they flew got even bigger. And they started building catapults so they could heave a lot more garbage over the fence. It was killing the blue's garden. Polluting their water. Some of it was flung so far it landed in the Centrist suburbs, where residents reacted by shaking their fists at the sky and cursing Both Sides.
One morning the blues were awakened before dawn by a racket in the yard. Bleary-eyed they walked out into the yard and found their red "guests" cutting down their flags. The Pro-Choice flag and the Welcoming Community flag were already down and being burned in an oil drum, and the Pride flag was fluttering slowly to the ground.
"We figured out what you're doing wrong," their leader said. "You can keep the American flag, but the rest of them were making some members of our former family mad, so we're getting rid of them. That might convince a few of them to stop throwing so much garbage over the fence."
The blues stared at them, speechless.
"This also might get some of those sweet, sweet 'independents' to hate you just a little bit less."
The blues continued staring, speechless.
"You're welcome," their leader snarked. "Now go make me my fucking breakfast."
5 comments:
Once again, being correct about the Right is, absolutely, NO comfort.
These pieces are excellent. Made me rethink a lot of things. But I think the Democrats who play with MAGA-LITE like Whitmer need a piece too. Every time they try to go to the center-right, they kicked in the balls.
There is no republican rehabilitation centers to address this disease.
Too many of the indoctrinated GOP voters would in a imaginary scenario vote for N. Korean Kim Jung Un if he ran on a GOP presidential ticket even though he is not natural born American citizen , over any democrat or independent.
They live out their days in hatred of "those" people.
Saying they hate gig government doesn't excuse their elected GOP leaders growing government to control every aspect of their lives. No, controlling everyone else's lives is not a thought except for the deluded reasoning that at least they are not treated as badly as " those" people.
The only positive euphoria the might feel comes from seeing harm on others.
How did they get this way. It tok masses of investments to impose agendas ever since FDR. Sure, the south losers generations were indoctrinated to hold on to lost cause of superiority.
In all seriousness, last Sunday on Velshi after Trump did his 20 minute babble about windmills etc, JENNIFER RUBEN complained about the reporters there being useless and accused them of being STENOGRAPHERS, which for some reason was a good thing under Cheney but not now. Is that a TDS thing? Gotta go back to looking under the couch for my jaw which dropped off.
Over 40 years. Other than that = Bullseye
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