This Halloween Hugh Hewitt Went Trick-or-Treating as Robert Novak

If you have been around these precincts for a very long time, you may remember way, way back during the Before Time  (y'know, the Good Olde Days for which we are all supposed to be nostalgic and to which we are all supposed to aspire) there existed a dyspeptic, Conservative prick named Robert Novak.   

Novakula to his critics, which were legion.

If you remember him at all, it was probably for the effortless way Frank Zappa gutted him like a trout  (or a Trout Mask Replica) in 1986 on a now-mercifully-defunct teevee program called Crossfire.

Novak was a terrible, terrible person who, if he were alive today, would undoubtedly be stinking up the noosphere with his own program on NewsMax or Fox.  He would also be one of the obligatory right wing asshole quota hires at a major American newspaper. plus, of course, he'd have his own radio show and podcast.  

But he's dead, so we are spared all of that.

What is less well-remembered except by the last remaining member of the Liberal Blogosphere Tontine is the time that James Carville found Novak's "launch codes" as I put it at the time (way back in 2005), and induced him to say a swear on teevee and storm off the show.  

Well, did a loyal American cameraman perhaps land a priest-blessed silver flickdart in the oily flanks of Human Gallstone, Bobby Novak?

Did some someone opening a window on the other side of the building set in motion a never-to-be-reproduced, trick-pool-shot with a ray of sunlight reflecting off of a pair of spectacles, caroming from a watch-face, ricocheting from a hand-mirror and refracting from the newly squeegeed framed Hockney print in the hall...only to land on the undead flesh of he-who-was-cobble-together-from-Krauthammer-leftovers, searing the beast and sending him into a smoking, insane rage.

Did someone slip a little Holy Water into his vinegar and Victory Gin onscreen beverage?

No, but one thing is clear: the Number One Rightwing Golem “journalist” lost it on-camera. Something got all burr-ish under the saddle of CIA-outing, GOP ponyboy. The good people at Crooks and Liars had it up in seconds, and it seems to make no sense at all.

He and James Carville are chatting, and suddenly he shouts “Bullshit”, gets up and stomps away.

God have mercy on Bob Novak’s dog tonight.

The issue was that Novak acted as bagman for the Bush administration's plot to out an active, undercover CIA agent to punish her husband for proving that Bush was lying his ass off about the predicate for his Iraq war.  (Fun fact:  all the sleazy collusion and sometimes outright treasonous behavior by administration officials and the Conservative media the took place during what the Never Trumpers now consider to be the good old days.)

Anyhoo, as I recall, James Carville telescoped his punch just enough to let Novak know that he was about to be outed on live national television, and Novak proceeded to lose his shit:

They teach you that on day one at Conservative media sleepaway camp:  when you find yourself well and truly cornered, play the aggrieved martyr by pitching a big, performative tantrum and stomping out.  

Which brings us, perforce, to the case of Hugh Hewitt, the cyborg sent from the future to destroy America.  Since Hewitt does not experience human emotions, when it came time for him to reserve a high place for himself in any future Trumpian Republican party by playing the martyr, staging a hissy and stomping out, it was weird and awkward.  Like something a Roomba with rudimentary AI features might have practiced in front of a mirror several times the night before.  

But by ENIAC, he did it!

From Politico:

Hugh Hewitt resigns from Washington Post after storming out of live interview

Hewitt abruptly left a live broadcast of the Post’s show “First Look,” leaving the host and his fellow guest stunned.

Conservative radio host Hugh Hewitt resigned Friday from his columnist position at The Washington Post, he confirmed to Fox News, after walking out on a live interview on the paper’s video platform — the latest blow to the Post after facing widespread blowback over halting presidential endorsements.

Hewitt stormed out during a live broadcast of the Post’s show “First Look” during a discussion Friday morning about how former President Donald Trump is laying the groundwork to potentially contest the election, leaving host Jonathan Capehart and fellow guest Ruth Marcus stunned.

“We are newspeople, even though we have opinions, and we have to report the whole story if we bring up part of the story,” Hewitt said during a heated exchange over a GOP Pennsylvania voting lawsuit he reminded viewers “was successful.”

“I don’t appreciate being lectured about reporting when, Hugh, many times you come here saying lots of things that aren’t based in fact,” Capehart replied.

“I won’t come back, Jonathan, I’m done,” Hewitt shot back, removing his ear piece and walking off screen. “This is the most unfair election ad I have ever been a part of.”...

The only part of this with which I disagree is the bit about this being "the latest blow to the Post after facing widespread blowback..." blah blah blah.  Au contraire!  To misquote the Scottish play, nothing in Hewitt's tenure at the Post became him like the leaving it.

The only part of this I regret is that conditions were such that Hewitt could not execute a Full Steve Schmidt:  doing the martyr/tantrum thing and then storming off his own podcast.

From me, February 11, 2019:

Steve Schmidt Launches New "Bullshit Walks" Podcast.

Steve Schmidt:  Professional Indignantista

First, we should get the laughter out of the way. 

 

Soooo much laughter. 

 

Gales of laughter. 

 

From The Daily Beast:

Steve Schmidt Storms Off Own Podcast When Asked About Advising Howard Schultz 

“This is bullsh*t,” Schmidt exclaims. “I’m not doing this.”...

The Schmidt case also provides us with an excellent example of how the Media Insider Club works.  Membership in the Club virtually guaranteed that no matter how hard a member of the Club schmidts the bed, sooner or later a place will be found for them back in the opinion-havers guild 

From me again, in January of this very year.

A Rising Grift Raises All Lifeboats

I tell ya kids, they learn this  artifice early on during Insider Club media orientation week/

And just for you...Bonus Tantrum!   Who can forget  Markos Moulitsas vs Tom Tancredo (2:04 time code):

Burn The Lifeboats