Liberals Are Always To Blame for Everything: Part 1,000,000

From the Department of Straining at Gnats and Swallowing Camels, this just in:  Just in case the entire body of work of this bitter, venomous hack hadn't already made this clear, Bret "Bug" Stephens really, really, really hates Democrats.

And yet this week Bretbug felt himself back into a corner from whence he felt there was no escape but to very reluctantly endorse Kamala Harris long after any sentient creature had stopped caring about anything Stephens had to say about anything.

However, since this clown runs his mouth under the banner of The New York Times, people noticed, and there was a tiny round of golf claps from a number of people who clearly lead very sheltered lives.  There was also  a larger round of baying at the moon from MAGA zombies about how what'dya expect from sum New York Time Librul!  If he wanna keep his job, he hadda do it.  

For goodness sake people, Stephens even lost the respect of Dennis Prager!  Which apparently matters to some number of moral invertebrates skulking around somewhere out there in the dark.

Dennis Prager Uses Bret Stephens To Explain TDS – and more | Religio-Political Talk (RPT) - https://t.co/O2aHSMgG0E Prager’s Description: Dennis defines “Trump Derangement Syndrome” and explains why “Never Trumpers” have a narcissistic attitude that could ruin our country.

— Blood Bathed Pony Soldier (@papagiorgio200) October 23, 2024

 But that's not the story.  

The story is the ramshackle psychological scaffolding Stephens had to hurriedly erect around his bitter, grudging endorsement in order to 1) absolve himself of the words coming out of his mouth, and 2) make it clear that everything bad that was happening and that might happen in the future is entirely the fault of us malevolent Liberals.  

Like Ron Swanson trying to take a bite of banana for the sake of his family --

-- the only way Stephens was able to choke down a mealy-mouthed endorsement of Harris, was to mash into the middle of a huge, greasy sandwich of contempt, loathing, lies and barely concealed racism.  

It's barely been a month since  this smarmy, preening asshole was stamping his feet and demanding that Dems damn well better impress him. 

Spin 'round.  

Do a lil' dance.

 An' it'd bedder be good, goddamnit.   Bedder be great! 

Cause I got lotsa choices. Lotsa lotsa choices!

This was New York Times employee Bret Stephens less that two months ago in that stiflingly mildewed drawing room puppet show called "The Conversation" in which the 817-year-old Gail Collins attempts to yuck it up with whichever junior-most Conservative on the payroll drew the short straw:

Harris is an even weaker candidate than Biden. Not that I’ll vote for Trump, but I don’t think I can vote for her.

Poor ol' Bret really thinks he's Ellen Foley from Paradise By The Dashboard Light.

But he's not.  

He's just another bitter, jumped-up Conservative loser who's been wrong about everything since forever, but is protected from the harsh marketplace consequences of his incompetence by the largess of the House of Sulzberger...

And of course, what would a Stephens shitpost be without a steaming side dish of Both Siderism?

Trump may be much the worse sinner, but Democrats aren’t blameless when it comes to weaponizing the instruments of state power to interfere with the will of the voters.

So at last, thanks to the miraculous intervention of Arnold Palmer's penis or whatever it was that finally dragged him one micron over the 50 yards line, Stephens spat out a sullen, bitchy, last minute endorsement of Harris which, he wanted to make very, very clear, was:

...a 99.999 percent vote against Trump and a 0.001 percent vote for Harris. 

He was so desperate to make sure that no one thought he got any of that icky Libtard stank on him, he followed his "endorsement" with a long paragraph describing Harris as “vacuous”...“stumbling”... “capitulating” to the “party’s left flank”.  There was the usual yadda yadda about ”identity politics” and "mindlessly expanding the role of government".   Stephens screeched about her “mediocre advisers, like her embarrassingly bad veep pick” and that her  “failed … presidency will do more to turbocharge the far right in this country than to diminish it.”

Y'know, because the base of Stephen's party are racists. 

He used all his words except “uppity”, which you know was dancing on the tip of his tongue. 

So, was that enough decontaminating his general area with ISwearToRepublicanJesusI'mNotLiberal disinfectant to give Bretbug a good night's sleep.

Not by a damn sight.  Because remember, this is a ISwearToRepublicanJesusI'mNotLiberal sandwich, and all that has gone before was just half of that big, greasy lard-bomb.  

The other half came the very next day.  A long screed making sure everyone knows who will be to blame if Trump wins.  

There’s One Main Culprit if Donald Trump Wins

Can you guess who it is?

That's right kids!  It's you and me!  Because isn't it always:

There’s truth in all of it. But it lets off the hook the main culprit: the way in which leading liberal voices in government, academia and media practice politics today. 

Stephens blats on for another few hundred words like these:

The politics of condescension, typified by Barack Obama’s suggestion this month that Black men might be reluctant to vote for Harris because they “just aren’t feeling the idea of having a woman as president.”

Again, he means "uppity".  Y'know, I can never get enough of extremely privileged, extremely caucasian narcissists like Stephens whitesplaining to the first Black president how he should talk to Black men.  It's like 2011 all over again!

And words like these:

The politics of name-calling, which happens every time Trump’s voters are told they are racists, misogynists, weird, phobic, low-information or, most recently, supporters of a fascist...

Yes, those dirty, rotten Liberals scoundrels who call Trump a fascist like [checks notes]  Donald Trump's White House chief of staff:

John Kelly, the retired Marine general who was Donald Trump's White House chief of staff, entered the 2024 fray in stunning fashion, saying the former president fits "into the general definition of fascist" and wanted the "kind of generals Hitler had" in a series of interviews published Tuesday.

And [checks notes again] the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff under Trump:

“We have got to stop him!” Milley said. “You have got to stop him!” By “you” he meant the press broadly. “He is the most dangerous person ever. I had suspicions when I talked to you about his mental decline and so forth, but now I realize he’s a total fascist. He is the most dangerous person to this country.” His eyes darted around the room filled with 200 guests of the Cohen Group, a global business consulting firm headed by former defense secretary William Cohen. Cohen and former defense secretary James Mattis spoke at the reception.

“A fascist to the core!” Milley repeated to me.

I will never forget the intensity of his worry.

The rest of his blather as as bad or worse.  Applying a New York Times high gloss to every insipid MAGA talking point, and personally vouching for the rectitude and honesty of GOP bigot and imbecile base, because, I guess, these MAGA zombies are so far gone that they sincerely believe that...

You see, by Bretbug's reckoning, democracy is not on the brink of destruction because the base of his party are reprogrammable meatbags or that willing stooges like him played an integral part in shaping them into a mob of reprogrammable meatbag.  Heck no!  According to Bret Stephens of The New York Times. democracy is on the brink of destruction because we mean ol' Liberals keep pointing out that the base of his party are reprogrammable meatbags

Over he course of his career, Stephens has shown himself to be a comprehensive failure as a writer, as an analyst, as a citizen and as a human being.  

How fortunate for him that he works for the House of Sulzberger where all of those failures are considered valuable assets.  

 

Burn The Lifeboats