Friday, October 21, 2022

Ten Unpleasant Facts About The American People


1.  Other than geographically, there is no such group as "The American People".  It is a mirage invented by pundits to elide the stark and irreconcilable differences between* various groups of Americans. 

2.  Republican Americans do not care about democracy.  At all.  They are motivated entirely by their fear of and rage over various imaginary boogieman that the Republican media has spent 30 years impanting in their tiny lizard brains.

3.  There are no "Centrists" or "Independents".  Instead there are millions and millions of mopes who want to sound smart when they talk about politics, but who are also conflict-averse cowards who would rather pull their own heads off than take sides.  Over anything.  Or bother to learn the details.  Of anything.  So they hide out in the "Both Side Do It" panic room, hoping that someone, somewhere will fix stuff and make everyone stop shouting.

4.  There are plenty of Republicans-in-hiding who call themselves Independents currently hiding out in the  "Both Side Do It" panic room too.

5.  Issues like fascism and voter suppression and civil rights and the fate of democracy and the future of the environment rarely penetrate the thick walls of the "Both Side Do It" panic room, but stuff that gets reported on local news or in the mainstream media (like crime or inflation) does get in.  Because when the price of milk goes up, panic room denizens see it but when the price of democracy goes up they ignore it.

6.  When panic room denizens are troubled, that's when 30 years of the mainstream media pushing the "Both Sides Do It" lie really pays big dividends.  Since panic room denizens are lazy and cowardly and don't care to know the details about war or pandemic or OPEC or supply chains or any of that complicated stuff, they will reach for the nearest, simplest, dumbest, wrongest "Both Sides Do It"-compatible answer.

7.  Republicans always have an ample supply of simple, dumb, wrong answers packaged and ready, and a massive propaganda machine which they spent +30 years building to bulldoze those simple, dumb, wrong answers into the mainstream media.  The mainstream media... which will reliably never challenge the stupidity and factual wrongness of whatever the Republicans are pushing.

8.  This leaves "Both Side Do It" panic room denizens with a simple, binary choice.  Since they are programmed to believe simple, dumb, wrong answers to things, they believe that there must be a magic button or a silver bullet that can solve whatever problems are vexing them.  And since Democrats in charge have refused to push the buttons and fire the silver bullets that would have simply and easily solved their problems, obviously they need to be put in check by Republicans.  Because "balance".  Because "bipartisanship".  I mean, since Both Sides are equally flawed, why not give the other team a shot?

9.  Once they have grabbed any of the levers of power, Republicans will immediately begin making everything much worse.  And no matter how much ground Democrats cede to Republicans in the name of "balance" and "bipartisanship", the fact that the more power Republicans grab the worse things always get is always explained away by the mainstream media and to the satisfaction of the "Both Side Do It" panic room denizens by blaming Democrats for not compromising even more.  

10.  Every now and then the sheer monstrousness of the GOP kicks the denizens of the "Both Side Do It" panic room in the throat so hard that they are momentarily shocked into noticing that Both Sides Don't.  This moment of semi-wakefulness is immediately counteracted by the mainstream media by reinforcing the walls of the "Both Side Do It" panic room and pointing out that some Liberal somewhere might be doing something naughty.  

*Thanks for the catch, James!


I Am The Liberal Media



4 comments:

Robt said...

Yeah, Both Russia and Ukraine need to both stop the invasion of Ukraine.

The problem with that both sides sentence is, Ukraine has been trying to stop the invasion of Ukraine and Russia is not trying to stop it.

Someone has to address the both sides of Good and Evil or the both sides of God and Satan.
A decent Sunday sermon from the Bible Bitch, perhaps.

Robt said...


chiseled in stone of time. But it is the past and that makes it history and we know right wingers deny history too. Forming words out of sound, using to reason with deaf ears has been scientifically peered reviewed' But they deny that too.


“Can't you understand? That if you take a law like evolution and you make it a crime to teach it in the public schools, tomorrow you can make it a crime to teach it in the private schools? And tomorrow you may make it a crime to read about it. And soon you may ban books and newspapers. And then you may turn Catholic against Protestant, and Protestant against Protestant, and try to foist your own religion upon the mind of man. If you can do one, you can do the other. Because fanaticism and ignorance is forever busy, and needs feeding. And soon, your Honor, with banners flying and with drums beating we'll be marching backward, BACKWARD, through the glorious ages of that Sixteenth Century when bigots burned the man who dared bring enlightenment and intelligence to the human mind

-Henry Drummond, a character in Inherit The Wind”
― Jerome Lawrence

Green Eagle said...

"...they are momentarily shocked into noticing that Both Sides Don't." Funny how that never happens within two months or so of an election, so the Republican billions can scream any contradicting view down.

pagan in repose said...

Ignorance and poverty are the two most important hors d'oeuvres to the main course of the aristocracy controlling the hoi polloi, along with the dictators and facsists. Also our home grown unfettered capitalists and libertarians like this line of control for their continuing enrichment until they have all the money with everything else. There is no "then what" in their belief in unfettered access to everything they can get their hands on without interference from anyone, anywhere.

And when they have it all, as they appear to be rapidly approaching? The golden hand of the big guy in the sky will reach down and pick them, and only them, for the free ride to heaven. And the rest of us remain in the smoldering ruins of our little third rock from the sun.

No point, just saying.