Wednesday, March 10, 2021

We Join The Weekly David Brooks/Maggie Haberman Phone Sex Appointment...

...already in progress.

Haberman: My inside sources tell me you've had a bad week, David.

Brooks: Rough week, Mags. Rough. First they took my Aspen money away...

Haberman: Bastards!

Brooks:  I know, right?  And then they had the nerve called me a bad journalist just because I'm bad at journalism.

Haberman: Double bastards!

Brooks: Double bastards...on stilts!

Haberman: Will with this "accountability" madness never end?

Brooks: Tell me about it.

Haberman: So...

Brooks: So I need something special today. I need the Nasty!

Haberman: I think I understand. How much Nasty can you handle?

Brooks:  I need the works. No holding back. I need the dirtiest, filthiest Nasty you've got.

Haberman: You sure?

Brooks: Damn sure! Give it to me. Give it!

Haberman: OK, brace yourself.

Brooks:  Yeah, baby!  Yeah!  That's what I'm talking about!  That's the shit!

Brooks lets out a wail like Biden's dog had taken a chunk out of his leg. 

This is followed by a long silence.

Haberman: David, you still there?

Ragged breathing.

Haberman: David?

Brooks: Still here Mags. That was great. Just great.

Haberman: Well, I am a professional. 

Chris Cillizza (breaking in) Hey, anybody up for the three-way!
Haberman: Get off this line and wait your turn, Cillizza! 

Cillizza hangs up.

Haberman:   Jesus, these kids today, amirite? 

Brooks: I know.  I married one.

Haberman:  So, same time next week?

Brooks: Until the end of the world, Mags. Until the end of the world.

 
Both Sides Don't




5 comments:

SteveSteve said...

HA! DFB!

Kelly in Texas said...

Well, that was disgusting. Like watching an old neutered dog hump your niece's leg.

Robt said...

The republican's party health insurance plan may not cover female parts.


They should seek counseling from Dennis Prager. Prager if you are living your life and have no time to waste parts of life you will never get back.
Prager offers sex counselling Where he addresses that a female should put out even if she is not in the mood. That her feelings shouldn't get in the way of her man's needs. Like not feeling so well after getting home from radiation treatment for cancer. Those little things can harm a marriage or a relationships as in David and Maggie's.

Just wanted to be helpful to Brooks and let him know what is available in his right wing world.


Alfred Lehmberg said...

What a miserably tedious and pathetic existence it must be just to produce canted crap for journalism and then only keep the viagra people afloat... who have really taken a hit since Limbaugh sloughed the coil, eh?

pluky said...

Worthy of The Rude Pundit himself!