Be Like Ike! Join The Khrushchev Project!
For Immediate Release:
Dear Fellow Republicans!
Several of your favorite social media political taste-makers will be launching The Khrushchev Project (tm) next month and we will be looking for big funding.
In the coming weeks will be offering absolution to Republicans like you who will soon be bravely denouncing a certain Burnt Umber Embarrassment (after you are safely out of his blast-radius) but are also deeply committed to keep the party apparatus he leaves behind intact and advancing its policy agenda with only minor, cosmetic changes.
For early adopters we are offering discounts on our Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum, "But Mitt Romney Is a Good Man" and "MSNBC Contributor Contract" membership levels in this soon-to-be fastest-growing leader in the booming, political absolution market.
At the Bronze Level you will receive an official membership card signed by a Khrushchev Project founder certifying that while you voted for Donald Trump, you never liked the Tweeting.
At the Silver Level you will receive a handsome, embossed card signed by a Khrushchev Project founder certifying that you voted for Donald Trump because of your terrible economic anxiety and/or desire to Disrupt The System and not because you're a brainwashed Fox News bigot.
At the Gold Level you will receive both the "I Hated The Tweeting" card and the "I'm Not a Racist" card as well as a certificate suitable for framing and signed by a Khrushchev Project founder stating clearly that Both Sides are to blame.
At the Platinum Level you will receive all of the aforementioned premiums plus authentic-looking and properly back-dated affidavits swearing that you're an Independent!
For a "But Mitt Romney Is a Good Man" membership Maggie Haberman will record a voicemail message for you strongly implying that you were a deep-cover Trump-resister all along who was trying to reform the party from the inside and, in fact, probably the biggest hero of all because things would have been so much worse without your silent service.
And at the "MSNBC Contributor Contract" Level, in addition to a gift basket containing all premium items from all other membership levels, you will receive a letter on MSNBC President Phil Griffin's personal stationary averring that you had no idea that your Republican Party has been full of Republicans all along because you were living in [Insert State of Residence Here] as well as the network's solemn promise that you will never, ever be asked anything about your actions prior to 2016.
Lifeboats seating is limitedMemberships are going fast, so act now!
3 comments:
That is pure gold!
That brought a much needed smile to this old dirty-hippie face. Thanx for all you do.
This is so much better than that ridiculous right wing apocalypses disaster food bucket of old enchiladas. Mike Huckabee and others were/ are selling.
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