Dear "Tax Is Slavery",
Confession time. I am probably the HUGEST fan of your Deathmetal Libertarian band in the world!
How big a fan, you ask?
Well last year I was blasting your patriotic, American anthem,"Tax Money Cruelly Expropriated From Patriotic Americans" so often my neighbors threatened to call the cops if I didn't stop!
Fucking snowflakes can't handle the truth!
So -- true story -- I cranked up "First Amendment Bitches!" as loud as it would go and let 'em have it until the cops came.
Our message is getting out there!
Anyway, I was soooo psyched at the chance to see you live last summer when you toured [town name withheld], but honestly I couldn't stand the idea of going to some park paid for by tax money cruelly expropriated from patriotic Americans, or patrolled by cops who salaries are paid for with tax money cruelly expropriated from patriotic Americans, so I had to miss out.
Sad!
But then I heard your band came back through my town this winter.
Yay!
But then I realized how wrong wrong it would be -- how it would just totally shit on the whole spirit of "Tax Is Slavery" -- to use a bunch of roads and bridges and traffic lights paid for by tax money cruelly expropriated from patriotic Americans, and plowed by government employees hired with tax money cruelly expropriated from patriotic Americans (using equipment paid for by tax money cruelly expropriated from patriotic Americans) just so I could get to a venue that's been inspected for fire safety and structural soundness and hygienic food-handling by even more government employees who were hired with tax money cruelly expropriated from patriotic Americans.
So that's out too.
But I'm sure someday we'll figure it all out.
Until then, yours in Freedom,
Name withheld.
Behold a Tip Jar!
1 comment:
Hey, there are some very goodly/nice mentally ill, unrealistic, Mythical Libertarians over there! Somewhere. I have heard.
There is a entire world out there for Libertarians to discover. A great frontier to map out and pioneer.
I can't wait for them to discover things like undisclosed free corporate taxes.
Like,
Purchasing most any goods has a Government tax. A most notable Libertarian Rand Pal has already pioneered and discovered.
But the new frontier like,
Buying a car to buying a can of soup.
The companies charge a price. In that price is wages and benefits for their employees.
Yes, most big companies provide health care to their employees and that cost of their health care ins TACED on to the price by the manufacturer.
And the Libertarian pays for it. Pensions, paid holidays, Corporate bonuses.
There is such a great brave new world out there for Libertarians to discover. To find out they pay for. Perhaps, maybe, after long exploring this brave new libertarian wilderness. They may find, their employer did the same for them. Forcing other people to pay this fee (hidden tax by freedom".
The Libertarian dream land is Somalia. It is a wonder land where a Libertarian can still go to live out his childhood dreams of becoming a pirate. That the non libertarians weeded out and banished long ago everywhere else.
Somalia, the Libertarian paradise........................
Post a Comment