Shilling for Fox News Is a Funny Look for a Never Trumper

Yep. You don't have to love them. You DO have to understand they're in 90 million households. https://t.co/UEaaKWf9yD

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) May 16, 2019

Yes, they're "in" 90M households, but Little Ricky knows full well that this is a meaningless marketing stat used by virtually no one but the Fox News marketing department.

They are "in" those households (and bowling alleys and body shops and motel restaurants) because Roger Ailes rigged a deal early on to get them added to the basic cable package.  Hell, Fox News is in my household, but the only time we ever watch it is A) when one of us is required to do so for professional reasons, or B) morbid curiosity to see what combination of panda sex stories and Benghaaaazi the Reich Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda is using to drown out whatever late-breaking treason President Stupid is up to on any given day.

The real question, as Little Ricky knows perfectly well, is how many people actually watch this shitshow.

And that number is nowhere near 90 million.

How Many People Actually Watch Fox News in America?

...
If you read through the Fox News press release about its 2018 ratings wins, you could get the impression of total domination. You’ll learn Fox had its “highest-rated year” and finished the year as the “most-watched basic cable network.” Both sound like big wins, and they are if you are in the cable TV business.

Digging into the raw numbers, you might wonder what else is happening on TV, and where the people are. After all, Fox won the race averaging 2.5 million total viewers in prime time and peaking at 3.3 million viewers during Sean Hannity’s show. Those figures range from 1% of the U.S. population watching Hannity to far fewer watching Tucker Carlson or Laura Ingraham

These days, Rick Wilson is making bank relentlessly mocking and sneering the same "slack-jawed yokels" which, five minutes ago, he was flattering and provoking for money in order to get his monstrous Republican candidates elected.

The same breed of slack-jawed yokels who squat in the eternal darkness of their arrogant ignorance, taking their nourishment from the Fox News teat.

The same breed of slack-jawed yokels who also make a living preening under the bright lights in front of the camera, flattering and provoking bigots and imbeciles in order to keep them loyal to President Stupid.

To think...President Idiocracy gets his daily briefing from this mouth breather. https://t.co/bLZx1g1J1L

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) March 29, 2019

Fox News is an open cultural sewer, lumpy with stupid, reeking with racism and madness, and wild-eyed-frantic to curb-stomp the Left and the Constitution once and for all and get on with making the Trump Administration into their very own 1000 Year Reich.  And rather than shouldering the responsibility for cleaning up their own god damn Fox News/Republican toxic waste dump, Republican Rick Wilson and Republican Rick Tyler would very much like Democratic candidates to take time from campaigning among sane Americans to do missionary work among the Stupids by wading into this sewer up their chins on a scavenger hunt for a few fence-straddling wingnuts.

Tell you what, Rick.  I'm putting you personally in charge of convincing these two meatheads of the error of their ways. 

After all, these two aren't going to listen to a damn thing that a dirty Commie terrorist-lovin', gun-grabbin', baby-killin' race-traitor like me has to say.  And the reason these they think I'm a dirty Commie terrorist-lovin', gun-grabbin', baby-killin' race-traitor is due in no small part to people like you who put a roof over your head and food on your table feeding rancid red meat to millions of wingnut mopes like these two for the last 20 years.

So these two are now officially your fucking problem

And after you're done bringing them to the light, I'll have two more for you.

And after that, two more.

And after that, two more.

And after that...

Behold, a Tip Jar!