The shattered remnants of the Illinois Republican Party limped into the Bank of Springfield Center last night to momentarily forget their woes by drinking themselves back to 1985 while listening to NRA president Ollie North slander Democrats. From the State Journal-Register:
North headlines Lincoln Day dinnerYes, that happened. Probably not to thunderous applause, because the days of thunder for this collection of doddering old Republican losers is long behind them. I imagine instead something like the sound of dead branches rattling against the weather-beaten shutters of an abandoned house at the end of an abandoned road.
The 75-year-old North, who became president of the NRA last May, also said the “disarm America movement is the best-funded, most sophisticated assault on our American liberties in our history.”
North claimed that an unnamed “unholy troika of tyrannical billionaires” was setting the Democrats’ “far-left socialist agenda.”
“They’re using their vast fortunes to elect enough progressives to turn America into a disarmed socialist dystopia,” North said.
“The hard left in America are socialists. They’re anti-freedom candidates for office. If they succeed in what they’re doing, our lives are going to be adversely affected forever...
An imitation of life staged by and for the unquiet ghosts of a dead party. With a keynote address by the disgraced leader of a pro-gun massacre cult. At an event named after a United States president who was shot in the head and is buried a couple of mile away.
The ironies multiply like tribbles.
So if you live in a happy Blue land surrounded by Liberals who are busy arguing about Medicare for All and a Green New Deal and Harris versus Booker versus Sanders versus Buttgieg versus Warren versus... and are completely baffled by the notion that anyone anywhere could still be fucked-in-the-head enough to support Donald Trump, don't waste $9.95/minute consulting Madame Zito's Psychic Wingnut Whisperer Hotline. Because honestly, all you have to do is flip on AM talk radio or crack open a local paper anywhere in Trump country and all will be revealed:
“For me, the past is the past,” said Ryan Zipprich of Jacksonville. “He stood up for his country. He’s a true patriot.”Remember these voices the next time a Never Trumper swears that, up until five minutes ago, they had no idea that their Republican party has been full of Republicans all along.
“We’ve done a really good job the last couple of years of bringing in some high-profile speakers and raising money for the Sangamon County Republicans,” said Rep. Tim Butler of Springfield. “Obviously, Oliver North was a controversial figure in American politics. Those of us on Republican side have supported what he’s done over the years. I think he’s done a good job heading up the NRA.”
“When I think of Oliver North, I think of icon. Let’s leave it at that,” said Brian Bowles of Springfield.
Kathleen Alcorn said she was excited to see North because he had served his country well. “So it’s just a huge honor to see him and meet him and be in the same room with him and to thank him for all he did for our country,” she said.
Event chair Paul Palazzolo, who is also the Sangamon County circuit clerk, called the night “an amazing evening.”
“Colonel North gave a patriotic speech that really left the crowd feeling good about itself and good about the freedom upon which our democratic country is based,” he said.
Behold, a Tip Jar!