Thursday, May 31, 2018

Today In Both Sides Do It: Bloody Bill Kristol



Unrepentant Republican Iraq War Pimp and Sarah Palin hype-man, Bill Kristol, continues to survive one Republican-triggered catastrophe after another because he is a perfect Beltway parasite. 

Mr. Kristol know's perfectly well the key to his continued success despite being spectacularly wrong about everything all the time lies in the fact that that his fellow Beltway frauds are every bit as ideologically cornered as any MAGA-hat wearing meathead.  Sure, during the Age of Trump they can no longer simply pretend that the Right isn't unhinged racist trash from top to bottom, but they also cannot afford to be seen whispering that, just maybe, the Left was right about the Right all along. 

Because this is true and because there are gargantuan fortunes and egos at stake, Mr. Kristol also knows that it does not matter how many times the whole Centrist/No Labels/Both Siderist cottage industry is exposed as grotesque and toxic farce. 

Mr. Kristol knows that there will always be an opulent Beltway sinecure and a cloak of respectability for anyone who willing to sing the Siren's Song of Both Siderism. 




Behold, a Tip Jar!

Beware His Wrath...



This was very well done.

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

At Long Last, the ERA Passes in Illinois

Estimated 10,000 demonstrators march to the Capitol building in Springfield, Ill., to support the passage of the Equal Rights Amendment on May 16, 1976. (Anonymous / AP)

From the Chicago Tribune:
Illinois approves Equal Rights Amendment, 36 years after deadline

The Illinois House voted Wednesday night to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment more than 45 years after it was approved by Congress, putting it one state away from possible enshrinement in the U.S. Constitution amid potential legal questions.

The 72-45 vote by the House, following an April vote by the Senate, was just one more vote than needed for ratification. It does not need the approval of Republican Gov. Bruce Rauner, who has said he supports equal rights but was faulted by Democrats for not taking a position on the ERA.

“I am appalled and embarrassed that the state of Illinois has not done this earlier,” said Democratic Rep. Stephanie Kifowit of Oswego, a Marine veteran. “I am proud to be on this side of history and I am proud to support not only all the women that this will help, that this will send a message to, but I am also here to be a role model for my daughter.”

Helping to propel momentum for the measure was a resurgence in activism for women’s rights amid national demands to root out sexual discrimination and harassment in American culture in response to the #MeToo movement...

So how long has the ERA been lingering in the limbo of Illinois politics?

This excerpt from the Mike Royko column from almost exactly 40 years ago -- "Bucking Hard for the Equal Rights Amendment" -- will give you some idea.

“I was talking to an ERA lady recently. She was fretting that the (Equal Rights) amendment might again fail in Illinois, after all of her hard work.

She showed me a list of about a dozen legislators and asked if I had any idea what kind of approach in bringing them around to her side.

I said: "Make the drop."

She looked puzzled and asked: "Make the what?"

"The drop. Give them some money."

She still didn’t understand. "Money? For what?"

"Bribes."

She looked horrified and gasped: "Bribes?"

"Well you can call it a campaign contribution, if it will make you feel better."

She laughed and said: "Oh, you're just kidding".

But of course Mike was not kidding.
That’s the trouble with the ERA crowd and most do-gooders.

They are earnest, diligent, and energetic. But they don’t have much sense.

Throughout the history of this state, sly people have been getting what they want out of Springfield. They haven’t done it by being honest, earnest, diligent, and energetic.  All these qualities get you is laughed at by the legislators and called a goo-goo .

They have done it by throwing a shoebox full of money through the transom of a Springfield hotel room.

But the ERA ladies don't understand that.  As I told the lady I mentioned above: "It would be much cheaper too.  You could probably but the votes of the dozen guys on that list for $5,000."

"I can't believe that," she said.

See?  They don't even read about the bribery trials of legislators.  They have no idea what a bargain Springfield can be.
At the time, the ERA people had an Illinois war chest of around $200K which, in 1978-adjusted dollars, was twice what one of Mike's shady friends who knew how such things worked would have needed to not only pass the ERA, but send a contingent of Illinois legislators to other states to tell them how awesome passing the ERA would be for them.

And if, for some reason, they had been hell-bent on spending the whole $200K not on zippy charts and glossy pamphlets but on greasing the right people?
My friend the expert looked dreamy as he said: "For $200,000? For that we would not only pass the ERA by a landslide, but they could probably get something else.

Such as?

"For that much money, I think I could get them a highway."
40 years later and way too many of my fellow do-gooders still refuse to understand the difference between what it actually takes to move the needle in politics...

...and picking on your banjo and wishing the world was otherwise.



Behold, a Tip Jar!

Ripped From the Pages of The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage...



To: All New York Times' Staff and Guest Contributors

From: The "What Words Mean Now" Department

Re:  Today's Updates to The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage

Today's list of words and phrases which have been approved as official New York Times alternatives to "Donald Trump lying his ass off again" are as follows:
"Links"
"accused"
"invoked fears"
"told"
"worked [the] audience"
"savaged"
"heightened campaign activity"
"performance"
"regaling them with stories"
"argues"
"boasted"
"richly embellished"
"public comments"
"making the case"
"hinted"
Please update your copy accordingly.



Behold, a Tip Jar!

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

To No One's Surprise Breitbart Hired Uncle Ruckus...


Really?

Yep.

From where?

From right off Bernie Sanders' campaign bus.

Wow.  Really?

Yep.

To do what?

Take a wild guess.
Inside the Pro-Trump Effort to Keep Black Voters From the Polls

Breitbart staffer recruited Sanders activist Bruce Carter to get African Americans to support the Republican—or stay home.

Breitbart News landed an election scoop that went viral in August 2016: “Exclusive: ‘Black Men for Bernie’ Founder to End Democrat ‘Political Slavery’ of Minority Voters… by Campaigning for Trump.”

If the splashy, counterintuitive story, which circulated on such conservative websites as Truthfeed and Infowars, wasn't exactly fake news, it was carefully orchestrated.

The story’s writer—an employee of the conservative website run by Steve Bannon before he took over Donald Trump’s campaign—spent weeks courting activist Bruce Carter to join Trump’s cause. He approached Carter under the guise of interviewing him. The writer eventually dropped the pretense altogether, signing Carter up for a 10-week blitz aimed at convincing black voters in key states to support the Republican real estate mogul, or simply sit out the election. Trump’s narrow path to victory tightened further if Hillary Clinton could attract a Barack Obama-level turnout...
Wow.

"Wow" indeed.

So I have a question.

Sure.

In what way does Bruce Carter's campaign to persuade black voters to definitely not vote for the only viable candidate capable of stopping Donald Trump differ from, say, Matthew Dowd's campaign to persuade voters to definitely not vote for the only viable candidate capable of stopping Donald Trump?

Ah!  Good question.  See, Carter was a stooge who was stealth funded as part of the larger Republican rat-fucking campaign --
...
The work Carter says he did, and the funds he was given to do it, also raise questions as to whether campaign finance laws were broken.

The group Carter founded, Trump for Urban Communities, never disclosed its spending to the Federal Election Commission—a possible violation of election law. In hindsight, Carter says, he believed he was working for the campaign so he wouldn’t have been responsible for reporting the spending.

His descriptions of the operation suggest possible coordination between Trump’s campaign and his nominally independent efforts. If there was coordination, election law dictates that any contributions to groups such as his must fall within individual limits: no more than $2,700 for a candidate. One supporter far exceeded that cap, giving about $100,000 to Carter’s efforts.

Another potential issue is whether the unusual role played by the Breitbart reporter amounted to an in-kind contribution.
- - while Matthew Dowd is paid by ABC New to be their chief political analyst:

So Bruce Carter knew what he was doing and got paid under-the-table for it, whereas Matthew Dowd is a useful idiot who was incapable of understanding the consequence of what he was advocating and yet still get's paid a small fortune by ABC New to be their chief political analyst?

Yep.

And other than that, no difference whatsoever?

None whatsoever.

Wow.

"Wow" indeed.



Behold, a Tip Jar!

Noted Republican Presidential Speechwriter Does Not Know What Words Mean


Today in Republican Detachment Disorder, the Washington Post has once again paid former George W. Bush chief speechwriter, senior Republican policy adviser and reliable Beltway Republican stalactite, Michael Gerson, to take up his quill and proclaim that his Republican Party just all of the sudden became a racist shitpile a couple of years ago.

It today's exciting episode, Mr. Gerson -- whose business is words -- pretends that he does not understand what the word "exposes" means:
Trump exposes the hypocrisy of Christian Republicans
 From the dictionary:
ex·pose
verb, 3rd person present: exposes
make (something) visible, typically by uncovering it.
Mr. Gerson -- who has worn his Conservative evangelical Christian bona fides on his sleeve right next to his "Ride or Die Republican" credentials for his entire adult life -- really wants you to believe that he had no fucking idea that Christian Republicans are, in fact, Christopath Republicans until about 10 minutes ago.

By the way, funny story: Christopath is a word I coined 13 years ago, back when Mr. Michael Gerson was being paid to put words in George W. Bush's mouth and thoughts into George W. Bush's head.
...
When a thoroughly vile thug like Cheney – who cranked up the fear-meter to a rolling boil and then warned the nation he had frightened that to vote for Kerry was to risk having terrorists murder you and your children – calls you “over the top”, you know you’re doing something right.

After five years of fake terror alerts, calling critics “traitors”, scaring the living hell out of people to win elections, ever more tax cuts for billionaires when you are already billions in debt, the memorable Swift Boat Social Security “Granny’s a Fag Loving/Troop Hating Whore” Liars ad campaign, lies-lies-and-more-lies about Iraq, Terry Schiavo and an all-out War on the Judiciary climaxing with thinly veiled threats and and calling non-Christopath Judges worse that terrorists (Insert you own list of Top 20 List of Republican Treacheries here)…then some dizzy bitch speaking for the RNC actually says that, “anger is not an agenda” and her pin-head doesn’t implode in cloud of pink cloud of meat, bone and hypocrisy…you have to fall down laughing AND you know you’re doing something right.

(Although I’m forced to agree to this extent: Anger is not the WHOLE Republican agenda. There’s also xenophobia, paranoia, whining victim mentality, criminal fiscal irresponsibility, hatred of Science, “magical thinking” and a worship of Ignorance all wired together with cancerous cult ideology founded on a debased and perverted view of Christianity. So they've got that goin' for them.)
So I really cannot emphasize enough how gallows-humor absurd it is to watch Mr. Michael Gerson collect a paycheck from the Washington Post week after week for pretending to !!Suddenly!!Notice!! horrifying truths about his Republican party that were as obvious to everyone else as a ten pound turd on a white tile floor and about which we on the Left have been shouting as loud as we can for decades.

I am sure there is a lesson in there somewhere about bearing false witness, but wouldn't count on Michael Gerson, Super Christian, to take up his quill to write about it anytime soon. 





Behold, a Tip Jar!

Friday, May 25, 2018

Professional Left Podcast #442


"Be excellent to each other."
-- Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Don't forget to visit our new website -- http://www.proleftpod.com -- for all of the sweet bells and whistles:  there are links to donate to our podcast work at that site, as well as links to our swingin' Zazzle merch store,  our respective blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Kittehs! and much more. Many thanks once again to @theologop for building it all for us!


Links:




The Professional Left is brought to you by our wholly imaginary "sponsors" 
and real listeners like you!




David Brooks: While My Caviar Gently Weeps



Today in the world of Advanced Brooksology, Yastreblyansky was up at the crack of dawn plowing the south forty.
Local Man Who Believed Saddam Hussein Had an Advanced Nuclear Weapons Program and Still Thinks Lincoln Unified the United States and If We Show Respect to Rightwingers It Will End School Shootings Among Other Things Complains that Under Trump America Is Descending Into Fantasy
You should go check it out. As for myself, it's going to be a hella long and exhausting day here in our Hobbit hole in the middle of Middle America, so on the subject of David Brooks wagging his finger at Donald J. Trump for...
...celebrity subsuming governance. Every day he produces great geysers of fantasy — some of which rip the cultural fabric (Mexican rapists), some of which merely tug it (“Obama had my ‘wires tapped’”).

Trump’s fantasies regularly collide with reality, and so far reality has a perfect winning percentage. That’s what happened with North Korea on Thursday. I sympathized with Trump’s efforts to give North Korea an opportunity to change, but his bluster, flattery and commemorative coins amounted to nothing more than pseudo-policy — a verbal meringue buttressed by no analytic substance, no institutional leverage, no real power force.

The dangerous thing about Trump’s fantasy world is not when it dissolves into nothing; it’s when he seduces the rest of us to move into it. It’s not when he ignores the facts; it’s when he replaces them by building an alternate virtual reality and suckering us into co-creating it.
... I will simply add two things.

First,  Trump does not produce "geysers of fantasy".  

He lies.

He lies constantly, pathologically, about everything all the time.  And he is abetted in his every lie by a Republican media machine and political party which have been an existential threat to this country for decades.  An utterly toxic Republican media machine and political party which nominated and elected this racist, lying demagogue because he was the perfect manifestation of who they truly are and what they truly believe.  An utterly toxic Republican media machine and political party which Mr. David Brooks of The New York Times has spent his entire career ignoring, denying or otherwise dismissing by creating great geysers of fantasy.

From Mr. Brooks just eight months before Donald J. Trump oozed down the escalator and into the hearts of Republican voters everywhere:
The big Republican accomplishment is that they have detoxified their brand. Four years ago they seemed scary and extreme to a lot of people. They no longer seem that way. The wins in purple states like North Carolina, Iowa and Colorado are clear indications that the party can at least gain a hearing among swing voters. And if the G.O.P. presents a reasonable candidate (and this year’s crop was very good), then Republicans can win anywhere. I think we’ve left the Sarah Palin phase and entered the Tom Cotton phase. 
Second, let us turn in our vast collection of great geysers of fantasy which Mr. Brooks has eagerly produced to advance his own fortunes and the Republican Cause to April of 2003:
The Collapse of the Dream Palaces
Mass destruction of mistaken ideas.
APR 28, 2003

... Now that the war in Iraq is over, we'll find out how many people around the world are capable of facing unpleasant facts. For the events of recent months confirm that millions of human beings are living in dream palaces, to use Fouad Ajami's phrase. They are living with versions of reality that simply do not comport with the way things are. They circulate and recirculate conspiracy theories, myths, and allegations with little regard for whether or not these fantasies are true. And the events of the past month have exposed them as the falsehoods they are.

...Finally, there is the dream palace of the American Bush haters. In this dream palace, there is so much contempt for Bush that none is left over for Saddam or for tyranny. Whatever the question, the answer is that Bush and his cronies are evil. What to do about Iraq? Bush is evil. What to do about the economy? Bush is venal. What to do about North Korea? Bush is a hypocrite.

In this dream palace, Bush, Cheney, and a junta of corporate oligarchs stole the presidential election, then declared war on Iraq to seize its oil and hand out the spoils to Halliburton and Bechtel. In this dream palace, the warmongering Likudniks in the administration sit around dreaming of conquests in Syria, Iran, and beyond. In this dream palace, the boy genius Karl Rove hatches schemes to use the Confederate flag issue to win more elections, John Ashcroft wages holy war on American liberties, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, and his cabal of neoconservatives long for global empire. In this dream palace, every story of Republican villainy is believed, and all the windows are shuttered with hate.

My third guess is that the Bush haters will grow more vociferous as their numbers shrink. Even progress in Iraq will not dampen their anger, because as many people have noted, hatred of Bush and his corporate cronies is all that is left of their leftism. And this hatred is tribal, not ideological. And so they will still have their rallies, their alternative weeklies, and their Gore Vidal polemics. They will still have a huge influence over the Democratic party, perhaps even determining its next presidential nominee. But they will seem increasingly unattractive to most moderate and even many normally Democratic voters who never really adopted outrage as their dominant public emotion.

In other words, there will be no magic "Aha!" moment that brings the dream palaces down. Even if Saddam's remains are found, even if weapons of mass destruction are displayed, even if Iraq starts to move along a winding, muddled path toward normalcy, no day will come when the enemies of this endeavor turn around and say, "We were wrong. Bush was right." They will just extend their forebodings into a more distant future. Nevertheless, the frame of the debate will shift. The war's opponents will lose self-confidence and vitality. And they will backtrack. They will claim that they always accepted certain realities, which, in fact, they rejected only months ago...
That is the raw and real David Brooks, boys and girls.  That is what it looks like when he feels the coast is finally clear and it's safe to take off his mask of civility and use his media platform to kick the living shit out of people like you and me.  By the way and for the record. here is Mr, Brooks after his fantasies collided with reality.  As with Trump, there was no apology.  As with Trump, there was no acknowledgement that he had ever been wrong. Instead there was this great geyser of fantasy, which began with Mr. Brooks denying that he had ever said anything mean or negative about Iraq War critics at all.


Back in the here and now, Mr. Brooks wraps up his column today by wistfully dreaming of a world after Trump,
I miss people thinking about the world outside the gravity field of Trumpian unreality, and about the world after Trump — the world we should be building.
I do not share Mr. Brooks' dream.

Instead I dream of a world where the Republican Party -- that cruel and implacable monster machine that spawned Donald Trump and a thousand other equally toxic and equally depraved Conservative ghouls and hobgoblins -- has been taken apart with an electoral sledgehammer and Chernobyled under 30 feet concrete so that something honorable might one day rise in its place. 

A world that has no time or money or patience for the craven opinions, gold-plated moralizing and great geysers of fantasy of Mr. David Brooks.


Behold, a Tip Jar!

Rick Lowry, Respected Conservative Intellectual



Thursday, May 24, 2018

In Case You Were Wondering Where All the Money That Could Be Going to Build a Liberal Media Infrastructure Is Actually Going


Behold, a Tip Jar!


I'm putting the Tip Jar at the top of this post instead of discretely at the bottom.

In a minute you'll understand why.

Concerned by Trump, Some Republicans Quietly Align With Democrats

...In the past year, however, influential liberal donors and operatives have gone from cheering these so-called Never Trump Republicans to quietly working with — and even funding — them. Through invitation-only emails and private, off-the-record meetings, they have formed a loose network of cross-partisan alliances...
In other words, the Repiublican rough beast we Liberals have been warning them about for decades has finally slouched all the way to White House to be born.

That's on the one hand.

On the other hand, they have gone all in on the Both Siderist lie and have all the money in the world to play with (with emphasis added):
...[Democracy Alliance founder Rob Stein]added that there was a “sense of urgency and intellectual vitality animating these efforts” that could “challenge conventional political wisdoms, 20th century political alliances and the two major, internally fractious, parties.”
See, it has finally sunk in to Prince Prospero's revelers that the Red Death has breached their walled-city and that Donald J. Trump and his Republican party really are an existential threat to democracy.  But they are equally freaked out at the implications of admitting the terrifying truth that -- holy shit! the Left really has been right about the Right all along.  Because they they might get icky Libtard juice all over the bed ruffles and the good china.  And so...
The network — composed of overlapping groups led by Democrats such as the donor Rachel Pritzker and several veteran Obama administration operatives, as well as leading Never Trump Republicans like Evan McMullin, Mindy Finn and William Kristol — aims to chart a middle path between a Republican base falling in line behind Mr. Trump and a liberal resistance trying to pull the Democratic Party left.
Oh horrors!  The peasants might get affordable health care and a college education that won't sell their kids into debt bondage!

And the rest you already know, because the script and the players never changes:
The discussions at Patriots and Pragmatists meetings are intended to focus on big picture topics related to democracy, rather than elections or political funding...The group has held three two-day gatherings outside San Francisco, New York and Washington, to which Ms. Pritzker and her political adviser invited 20 to 40 people per meeting. Gatherings have drawn influential Democratic operatives like Mr. Bassin and the Democracy Alliance founder Rob Stein. They have also attracted big-name Republican and conservative thinkers, writers and operatives including Mr. Taylor, the legal analyst Benjamin Wittes and the foreign policy hawks Mona Charen, David Frum, Robert Kagan, Mr. Kristol and Jennifer Rubin.
And the amount of money these people can raise never changes.
Perhaps most significantly, Patriots and Pragmatists gatherings have drawn major donors like William D. Budinger, a former Democracy Alliance board member, and representatives of deep-pocketed grant-writing foundations like Pierre Omidyar’s Democracy Fund and Democracy Fund Voice, and the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation’s Madison Initiative.

For the last few years, those foundations have been donating millions of dollars a year to bipartisan and nonpartisan groups advocating political reforms. But they redoubled their efforts after the 2016 election.

Stand Up Republic and Stand Up Ideas — founded by Mr. McMullin and Ms. Finn — have received a total of as much as $1.3 million from the Democracy Fund groups and the Madison Initiative. And Protect Democracy and the Protect Democracy Project — founded by Mr. Bassin — have received as much as $500,000 from those grant-writing foundations, according to financial information on their websites.
Here is a paragraph taken at random:
The Niskanen Center hosts a semimonthly invitation-only gathering of Trump critics called Alexander Fyodorovich Kerensky and the Russian Provisional Government the Meeting of the Concerned, which attendees are asked to keep confidential. While it is attended primarily by a rotating cast of Never Trump Republicans — including the pundit Mr. Kristol and the former Representative Mickey Edwards — meetings sometimes include a Democrat or two presenting research or analysis on relevant issues.
And another:
Other Republicans have been wary to get involved, Mr. Bassin said. “There is a troubling dynamic happening where anytime a conservative expresses concerns, they get branded a Never Trumper and are excommunicated from the American right.”
And I'm done

For Impeccable Service To The Russian State



Behold, a Tip Jar!




But Discommendation is Still Permitted



The inherent flaw in the reasoning of tyrants and their stooges who resort to banning one, specific gesture of protest --
TRUMP SUGGESTS KNEELING N.F.L. PLAYERS SHOULD BE DEPORTED

...
“The N.F.L. owners did the right thing if that’s what they’ve done,” he told Fox & Friends’s Brian Kilmeade during an exclusive interview Thursday morning. “I think that’s good, I don’t think people should be staying in locker rooms. . . . You have to stand proudly for the national anthem or you shouldn’t be playing, you shouldn’t be there—maybe you shouldn’t be in the country.”...
-- is that they simultaneously reveal just how weak and craven they are, and they remind everyone that are so many other very public ways to tell those tyrants and their stooges to fuck right off.



Behold, a Tip Jar!


The #Shitcoin Bubble Bursts


From CNN:
Trump cancels Singapore summit in letter to Kim Jong Un

President Donald Trump will not meet North Korean leader Kim Jong Un next month for what would have been a historic diplomatic summit, he announced in a letter to Kim released by the White House Thursday morning...

So President Stupid just got pantsed in front of the whole world by a blood-drunk, half-bright adolescent lunatic who rules a third world shitpile.

Well I have worn the soles out of my last pair of "We Fucking Told You So" dancing shoes, so let's just stipulate that A) this will not make the slightest difference to the reprogrammable meatbags of the Republican base because, B) by next week it will be completely forgotten by them because, C)  Spygate/Benghaaaazi/Emails/Seth Rich/!
Behold, a Tip Jar!

Today In Both Sides Do It: Pity The Poor Bush Regime Dead-Enders



They haz no homez!


You are politically homeless because what you believe is ridiculous and awful, but the ridiculous, awful, lying, racist avatar for those beliefs which which your party nominated and elected makes you feel icky.

You are politically homeless because the idea of ever admitting that the Left has been right about the Right all along also makes you feel icky and -- let's face it -- would also be professional suicide.

Sad!


Behold, a Tip Jar!

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

The Grand Compendium Delusion



A couple of days ago I posted a call-and-response style post in which our humble narrator keeps interrupting Michael Gerson's latest, ludicrous whitewashing of Republican party history with significant events from the actual history of the Republican party which make Mr. Gerson look either remarkably stupid or like a pathological liar.

Anyway, a few of my more literal-minded readers responded to the final paragraphs of this post -- 
Excuse me, Mr. Gerson, but Jesus Christ on a UPS truck, you are not going to believe what happened!  

Funny story, actually.  

It seems that some Liberal asshole bundled together the record of your entire Republican party during the Obama Administration.  You know, long before Donald Trump ever oozed down the escalator and into the hearts of the reprogrammable meatbags who always have been the base of your party...
-- with a request for the link to which I was referring.

Well, see, there is no link.  There was nothing wrong in asking, but the the point I was attempting to make was that the actions of Mr. Gerson's Republican party every single day of the eight years of the Obama Administration all irrefutably damn Mr. Gerson's Republican party.  That the evidence of their sabotage and sedition was all so clear-cut, so right-out-in-the-open and of such recent vintage that no compendium of each of the hundreds of individual acts of betrayal should be necessary.

But it did get me to thinking about this.

See, over the years I have noticed a very specific form of wishful thinking among my fellow Libtards that it really is long past time that we outgrow.  And that is the fantasy that if we just had at our disposal some Grand Comendium of all modern Republican crimes against this country -- complete with tables of contents and footnotes and links and ibids and passims and vols -- that this would somehow begin to turn the tide.

That somehow, if we just had an exhaustively researched Indignity Gauntlet outfitted with all six Indignity Stones we would finally have a tool powerful enough to haul the Republican party down out of the Stupid Tree and force them to see reason.  Hell, maybe even just the Time Stone and with it the power to drag them back a day or a week or a month and watch themselves loudly swearing by the exact opposite of what they are swearing by today, and then jaunt them into the future so they can watch themselves swearing by the exact opposite of what they are swearing by today.

But the thing is, even if I had the luxury of taking off a year or so to compile such a thing, I wouldn't.  Because it is a fool's errand.  Because the problem is not that Republicans lack access to the same facts you and I and every other person with a computer has at our fingertips at all times.  Quite the opposite: they're drowning in humiliating, irrfutable rebuttals to everything they believe, which is why they have welded themselves inside the Hate Radio/Fox News bunker. 

They cannot be reached, because they have chosen not to be reachable.  They cannot be reasoned with because they reject reason itself.

Of course there will come a moment when the administration of President Stupid finally cracks down to the keel and slides beneath the waves, and in that moment these fuckers will try to flee down every available rat-line in their millions.  But don't expect them to acknowledge any personal responsibility for any of the madness they made possible.  Instead, expect to see a massive uptick in self-identified "independents" who will all swear that never really supported Donald  Trump at all with the same fervor that they now swear that all negative information about Trump is Fake News by the Deep State.

Expect to see them scurry around madly, loudly blaming Both Sides, to the delight of all the Beltway Both Siderists, who will be more than happy to tell these newly-minted "independents" the fanwing, flattering lies they wish to believe...

...even as they scan the horizon for the next lying Republican demagogue into whose arms they can fling themselves.

Why do I fully expect that, unless we on the Left mount a sustained and coordinated campaign to prevent this from happening, that this is what our future looks like?

Because we have been here before.  Several times.  And this is always how it goes.

For example, nine years ago -- long before Donald Trump oozed down the Escalator of Fate and into the hearts of the GOP's racist asshole base -- a guy named  Russell King compiled an abridged version of exactly the sort of Grand Compendium of Republican atrocities that way too many of my Liberals brothers and sisters still believe can be used to open Conservative minds.

It was a huge hit.  It went viral.  Bigly.  Traveled around and around Teh Internets a zillion times while many a good-hearted Liberal emailed it to their own Crazy Uncle Liberty with with "PLEASE READ" in the the subject line.

And in the end it simply faded away, having made little or no difference whatsoever.

Here, for the benefit of future generations, is Mr. King's epic work from nine years ago reposted in its entirety.  And no, I have not checked to make sure each individual like is still active.  And no, I do not intend to.

An open letter to conservatives

March 22, 2010, 3:16PM

Dear Conservative Americans,

The years have not been kind to you. I grew up in a profoundly Republican home, so I can remember when you wore a very different face than the one we see now. You've lost me and you've lost most of America. Because I believe having responsible choices is important to democracy, I'd like to give you some advice and an invitation.

First, the invitation: Come back to us.

Now the advice. You're going to have to come up with a platform that isn't built on a foundation of cowardice: fear of people with colors, religions, cultures and sex lives that differ from your own; fear of reform in banking, health care, energy; fantasy fears of America being transformed into an Islamic nation, into social/commun/fasc-ism, into a disarmed populace put in internment camps; and more. But you have work to do even before you take on that task.

Your party -- the GOP -- and the conservative end of the American political spectrum have become irresponsible and irrational. Worse, it's tolerating, promoting and celebrating prejudice and hatred. Let me provide some examples -- by no means an exhaustive list -- of where the Right as gotten itself stuck in a swamp of hypocrisy, hyperbole, historical inaccuracy and hatred.

If you're going to regain your stature as a party of rational, responsible people, you'll have to start by draining this swamp:

Hypocrisy

You can't flip out -- and threaten impeachment - when Dems use a parliamentary procedure (deem and pass) that you used repeatedly (more than 35 times in just one session and more than 100 times in all!), that's centuries old and which the courts have supported. Especially when your leaders admit it all.

You can't vote and scream against the stimulus package and then take credit for the good it's done in your own district (happily handing out enormous checks representing money that you voted against, is especially ugly) -- 114 of you (at last count) did just that -- and it's even worse when you secretly beg for more.

You can't fight against your own ideas just because the Dem president endorses your proposal.

You can't call for a pay-as-you-go policy, and then vote against your own ideas.

Are they "unlawful enemy combatants" or are they "prisoners of war" at Gitmo? You can't have it both ways.

You can't carry on about the evils of government spending when your family has accepted more than a quarter-million dollars in government handouts.

You can't refuse to go to a scheduled meeting, to which you were invited, and then blame the Dems because they didn't meet with you.

You can't rail against using teleprompters while using teleprompters. Repeatedly.

You can't rail against the bank bailouts when you supported them as they were happening.

You can't be for immigration reform, then against it .

You can't enjoy socialized medicine while condemning it.

You can't flip out when the black president puts his feet on the presidential desk when you were silent about white presidents doing the same. Bush. Ford.

You can't complain that the president hasn't closed Gitmo yet when you've campaigned to keep Gitmo open.

You can't flip out when the black president bows to foreign dignitaries, as appropriate for their culture, when you were silent when the white presidents did the same. Bush. Nixon. Ike. You didn't even make a peep when Bush held hands and kissed (on the mouth) leaders of countries that are not on "kissing terms" with the US.

You can't complain that the undies bomber was read his Miranda rights under Obama when the shoe bomber was read his Miranda rights under Bush and you remained silent. (And, no, Newt -- the shoe bomber was not a US citizen either, so there is no difference.)

You can't attack the Dem president for not personally* publicly condemning a terrorist event for 72 hours when you said nothing about the Rep president waiting 6 days in an eerily similar incident (and, even then, he didn't issue any condemnation). *Obama administration did the day of the event.

You can't throw a hissy fit, sound alarms and cry that Obama freed Gitmo prisoners who later helped plan the Christmas Day undie bombing, when -- in fact -- only one former Gitmo detainee, released by Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, helped to plan the failed attack.

You can't condemn blaming the Republican president for an attempted terror attack on his watch, then blame the Dem president for an attempted terror attack on his.

You can't mount a boycott against singers who say they're ashamed of the president for starting a war, but remain silent when another singer says he's ashamed of the president and falsely calls him a Maoist who makes him want to throw up and says he ought to be in jail.

You can't cry that the health care bill is too long, then cry that it's too short.

You can't support the individual mandate for health insurance, then call it unconstitutional when Dems propose it and campaign against your own ideas.

You can't demand television coverage, then whine about it when you get it. Repeatedly.

You can't praise criminal trials in US courts for terror suspects under a Rep president, then call it "treasonous" under a Dem president.

You can't propose ideas to create jobs, and then work against them when the Dems put your ideas in a bill.

You can't be both pro-choice and anti-choice.

You can't damn someone for failing to pay $900 in taxes when you've paid nearly $20,000 in IRS fines.

You can't condemn criticizing the president when US troops are in harms way, then attack the president when US troops are in harms way , the only difference being the president's party affiliation (and, by the way, armed conflict does NOT remove our right and our duty as Americans to speak up).

You can't be both for cap-and-trade policy and against it.

You can't vote to block debate on a bill, then bemoan the lack of 'open debate'.

If you push anti-gay legislation and make anti-gay speeches, you should probably take a pass on having gay sex, regardless of whether it's 2004 or 2010. This is true, too, if you're taking GOP money and giving anti-gay rants on CNN. Taking right-wing money and GOP favors to write anti-gay stories for news sites while working as a gay prostitute, doubles down on both the hypocrisy and the prostitution. This is especially true if you claim your anti-gay stand is God's stand, too.

When you chair the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, you can't send sexy emails to 16-year-old boys (illegal anyway, but you made it hypocritical as well).

You can't criticize Dems for not doing something you didn't do while you held power over the past 16 years, especially when the Dems have done more in one year than you did in 16.

You can't decry "name calling" when you've been the most consistent and outrageous at it. And the most vile.

You can't spend more than 40 years hating, cutting and trying to kill Medicare, and then pretend to be the defenders of Medicare

You can't praise the Congressional Budget Office when it's analysis produces numbers that fit your political agenda, then claim it's unreliable when it comes up with numbers that don't.

You can't vote for X under a Republican president, then vote against X under a Democratic president. Either you support X or you don't. And it makes it worse when you change your position merely for the sake obstructionism.

You can't call a reconciliation out of bounds when you used it repeatedly.

You can't spend taxpayer money on ads against spending taxpayer money.

You can't condemn individual health insurance mandates in a Dem bill, when the mandates were your idea.

You can't demand everyone listen to the generals when they say what fits your agenda, and then ignore them when they don't.

You can't whine that it's unfair when people accuse you of exploiting racism for political gain, when your party's former leader admits you've been doing it for decades.

You can't portray yourself as fighting terrorists when you openly and passionately support terrorists.

You can't complain about a lack of bipartisanship when you've routinely obstructed for the sake of political gain -- threatening to filibuster at least 100 pieces of legislation in one session, far more than any other since the procedural tactic was invented -- and admitted it. Some admissions are unintentional, others are made proudly. This is especially true when the bill is the result of decades of compromise between the two parties and is filled with your own ideas.

You can't question the loyalty of Department of Justice lawyers when you didn't object when your own Republican president appointed them.

You can't preach and try to legislate "Family Values" when you: take nude hot tub dips with teenagers (and pay them hush money); cheat on your wife with a secret lover and lie about it to the world; cheat with a staffer's wife (and pay them off with a new job); pay hookers for sex while wearing a diaper and cheating on your wife; or just enjoying an old fashioned non-kinky cheating on your wife; try to have gay sex in a public toilet; authorize the rape of children in Iraqi prisons to coerce their parents into providing information; seek, look at or have sex with children; replace a guy who cheats on his wife with a guy who cheats on his pregnant wife with his wife's mother;


Hyperbole

You really need to disassociate with those among you who:

assert that people making a quarter-million dollars a year can barely make ends meet or that $1 million "isn't a lot of money";

say that "Comrade" Obama is a "Bolshevik" who is "taking cues from Lenin";

ignore the many times your buddies use a term that offends you and complain only when a Dem says it;

liken political opponents to murderers, rapists, and "this Muslim guy" that "offed his wife's head" or call then "un-American";

say Obama "wants his plan to fail...so that he can make the case for bank nationalization and vindicate his dream of a socialist economy";

equate putting the good of the people ahead of your personal fortunes with terrorism;
smear an entire major religion with the actions of a few fanatics;

say that the president wants to "annihilate us";

compare health care reform with the bombing of Pearl Harbor, a Bolshevik plot the attack on 9/11,or reviving the ghosts of communist dictators (update: it's also not Armageddon);

equate our disease-fighting stem cell research with "what the Nazis did";

call a bill passed by the majority of both houses of Congress, by members of Congress each elected by a majority in their districts, an unconscionable abuse of power, a violation of the presidential oath or "the end of representative government";

shout "baby killer" at a member of Congress on the floor of the House, especially one who so fought against abortion rights that he nearly killed health care reform (in fact, a little decorum, a little respect for our national institutions and the people and the values they represent, would be refreshing -- cut out the shouting, the swearing and the obscenities);

prove your machismo by claiming your going to "crash a party" to which you're officially invited
claim that Obama is pushing America's "submission to Shariah";

question the patriotism of people upholding cherished American values and the rule of law;

claim the president is making us less safe without a hint of evidence;

call a majority vote the "tyranny of the minority," even if you meant to call it tyranny of the majority -- it's democracy, not tyranny;

call the president's support of a criminal trial for a terror suspect "treasonous" (especially when you supported the same thing when the president shared your party);

call the Pope the anti-Christ;

assert that the constitutionally mandated census is an attempt to enslave us;

accuse opponents of being backed by Arab slave-drivers or of being drunk and suicidal;

equate family planning with eugenics or Nazism;

accuse the president of changing the missile defense program's logo to match his campaign logo and reflect what you say is his secret Muslim identity;

accuse political opponents of being totalitarians, socialists, communists, fascists, Marxists; terrorist sympathizers, McCarthy-like, Nazis or drug pushers; and

advocate a traitorous act like secession, violent revolution , military coup or civil war (just so we're clear: sedition is a bad thing).

History

If you're going to use words like socialism, communism and fascism, you must have at least a basic understanding of what those words mean (hint: they're NOT synonymous!)

You can't cut a leading Founding Father out the history books because you've decided you don't like his ideas.

You cant repeatedly assert that the president refuses to say the word "terrorism" or say we're at war with terror when we have an awful lot of videotape showing him repeatedly assailing terrorism and using those exact words.

If you're going to invoke the names of historical figures, it does not serve you well to whitewash them. Especially this one.

You can't just pretend historical events didn't happen in an effort to make a political opponent look dishonest or to make your side look better. Especially these events. (And, no, repeating it doesn't make it better.)

You can't say things that are simply and demonstrably false: health care reform will not push people out of their private insurance and into a government-run program ; health care reform (which contains a good many of your ideas and very few from the Left) is a long way from "socialist utopia"; health care reform is not "reparations"; nor does health care reform create "death panels".

Hatred

You have to condemn those among you who:

call members of Congress n*gger and f*ggot;

elected leaders who say "I'm a proud racist";

state that America has been built by white people;

say that poor people are poor because they're rotten people, call them "parasitic garbage" or say they shouldn't be allowed to vote;

call women bitches and prostitutes just because you don't like their politics ( re - pea -ted - ly );

assert that the women who are serving our nation in uniform are hookers;

mock and celebrate the death of a grandmother because you disagree with her son's politics;

declare that those who disagree with you are shown by that disagreement to be not just "Marxist radicals" but also monsters and a deadly disease killing the nation (this would fit in the hyperbole and history categories, too);

joke about blindness;

advocate euthanizing the wife of your political opponent;

taunt people with incurable, life-threatening diseases -- especially if you do it on a syndicated broadcast;

equate gay love with bestiality -- involving horses or dogs or turtles or ducks -- or polygamy, child molestation, pedophilia;

casually assume that only white males look "like a real American";

assert presidential power to authorize torture, torture a child by having his testicles crushed in front of his parents to get them to talk, order the massacre of a civilian village and launch a nuclear attack without the consent of Congress;

attack children whose mothers have died;

call people racists without producing a shred of evidence that they've said or done something that would even smell like racism -- same for invoking racially charged "dog whistle" words (repeatedly);
condemn the one thing that every major religion agrees on;

complain that we no longer employ the tactics we once used to disenfranchise millions of Americans because of their race;

blame the victims of natural disasters and terrorist attacks for their suffering and losses;

celebrate violence , joke about violence, prepare for violence or use violent imagery, "fun" political violence, hints of violence, threats of violence (this one is rather explicit), suggestions of violence or actual violence (and, really, suggesting anal rape with a hot piece of metal is beyond the pale); and
incite insurrection telling people to get their guns ready for a "bloody battle" with the president of the United States.

Oh, and I'm not alone: One of your most respected and decorated leaders agrees with me.

So, dear conservatives, get to work. Drain the swamp of the conspiracy nuts, the bald-faced liars undeterred by demonstrable facts, the overt hypocrisy and the hatred. Then offer us a calm, responsible, grownup agenda based on your values and your vision for America. We may or may not agree with your values and vision, but we'll certainly welcome you back to the American mainstream with open arms. We need you.

(Anticipating your initial response: No there is nothing that even comes close to this level of wingnuttery on the American Left.)

Written by Russell King

Update: removed the mouth kissing reference and tried to clean up spelling


Behold, a Tip Jar!