Which Is a Better Candidate for an Episode of Electric Dreams?

A story about an alternate reality in which The New York Times actually pays David Brooks --  the guy who dumped his wife and the mother of his children for his much younger assistant -- to write a "Hugs Not Drugs!" column lamenting "advanced thinkers across the West" for taking the "enchantment" out of sex?

For this reason, cultures all around the world have treated emotional touching as something apart. The Greeks labeled the drive to touch with the word “eros,” and they meant something vaster and deeper than just sexual pleasure...

The Abrahamic religions also treat sex as something sacred and beautiful when enveloped in loving and covenantal protections, and as something disordered and potentially peace-destroying when not...

Or a story about an alternate reality in which NY Magazine pays America's most ludicrous gay Catholic Tory hermit True Conservative, Andrew Sullivan, to write about why New York is a shithole  --

I tried living in New York City for a year and a half and found it intolerable: sunless, overcrowded, rude, incompetent, ugly, massively overpriced, deeply parochial and insular, and an endless assault course of hassle and attitude. 

-- and then go on to use using his magic gay Catholic Tory hermit True Conservative powers to x-ray the souls of "left-feminists" so he can mansplain to them why they are to blame for Trump winning the election --

I think this issue was an under-acknowledged cause for Clinton’s failure. At some point, Democrats and liberals are going to have to decide if they want to “problematize” half the voting population. 

-- because they just don't understand fucking, gender and culture?

I know this must be a pain in the neck for most women. But it’s who we are. It’s a blessing and a curse. It’s called being male, this strange creature, covered in hair, pinioned between morality and hormones, governed by two brains, one above and one below. We can and should be restrained, tamed, kept under control. But nature will not be eradicated. And when left-feminism denies nature’s power, ignores testosterone, and sees all this behavior as a function entirely of structural patriarchal oppression, it is going to overreach. It is going to misunderstand. And it is going to alienate a lot of people.

Actually a Philip K. Dick story about a massive coordinated sustained alien hallucinogenic attack on our cultural nervous system which would create a reality in which twits like this are paid to drizzle words into a page would probably be amazing.

If we weren't, y'know, living it already

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