Little Red State Pedophile

Down below is one of the earliest posts I ever wrote for my blog.

12 years ago.

Going on 13 now.

Long time ago.

And the thing is, it wasn't that hard to compose.

Partly because I used to be a pretty good writer*.  But mostly because, even that long ago, the status of the Republican Party -- its history, its current condition and its probable trajectory based on its fatal addiction to a toxic cocktail of racism, pathological lying, engineered rage, fundamentalist theocracy and belligerent ignorance, all underwritten by crackpot right-wing billionaires -- were already so fucking obvious and so well-documented that we America-hating, terrorist-loving, surrender-monkey Libtards (as we were known back in the day) were flummoxed by the fact that the mainstream media seemed singularly devoted to not seeing the onrushing national calamity that was staring them right in the face. 

Now, all these years later, I am not alone in watching with grim amusement as one insufferable, life-long professional defender of the Republican Party after another --

Will the party that accepted the Access Hollywood president draw the line at Roy Moore and a 14-year-old girl?

— Charlie Sykes (@SykesCharlie) November 9, 2017

-- after another --

The terrible truth: In Trump’s Republican Party, Roy Moore—politically demagogic and morally bankrupt—seems to be not a bug but a feature.

— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) November 10, 2017

-- feign complete ignorance of what was going on inside the Republican Party all along as they "suddenly" discover the horrifying truth of what we America-hating, terrorist-loving, surrender-monkey Libtards have been telling them all along.

From Brother Charlie Pierce:

Roy Moore Is Exactly What the Republican Party Is All About 

Wake up and smell the white supremacist theocracy.

I awoke this morning to the plaintive scream of a delicate desert dweller who apparently had been in a coma in the middle of a landfill and just now had awakened and noticed the smell. Tweeted Jeff Flake, soon-to-be ex-senator from Arizona:

Come on, Republicans. Is this who we are? This cannot be who we are. https://t.co/Fp0xnwOdqz

— Jeff Flake (@JeffFlake) November 10, 2017

The fact is that Roy Moore is very much who the Republicans are. He is representative of a fanatical splinter of American Protestantism that has accounted for a great deal of the success enjoyed by modern conservatism and the Republican Party for over four decades, and there always has been dark sin at the heart of that success...

And so, let us travel back and back and back a little more.  Before YouTube.  Before Twitter.  Before Instagram or Snapchat.  Before Breitbart.  Before the GOP base vanished and reappeared as the Fake Tea Party, disavowing any knowledge of George Bush, but loving every Republican utterance and hating the Kenyan Usurper with the heat of 1,000 suns.

Back to the Age of Bush.  

Back to a time when the only people who dared to tell the truth about the Republican Party were a handful of America-hating, terrorist-loving, surrender-monkey Libtards. And who were labeled "pariah" and cast forever out of the company of polite society for doing so.

Read this little blog post from 2005 while looking at this monster's picture --

-- and then tell me again how you had no fucking idea that it would ever come to this.

Little Red State Fundy sez...



Whatever will we tell the children?

One day we will have to explain to the children what happened when Thurston Howell III lost his right mind and decided that for the sake of some tax cuts to make him incrementally more comfortable, his very bestest buddies in the whole, wide world were the Ultra Right Wing Gorgons down in Jesusland.

May I suggest the following?

The Story of Little Red State Fundy

Little Red State Fundy found a grain of hate.

"Who will help me plant the hate?" she asked.

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she buried the hate in the bloody ground of the Old Confederacy. After a while it grew up paranoid and ignorant and violent.

"The hate is ripe now," said Little Red State Fundy. "Who will do the mass mailings and preach bigotry from the Pulpit?"

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she licked envelopes until her bill was cracked and dry and stood up into the House of God and crowed to her flocks in their millions that God Loved Them for hating and killing creatures who were not like them.

Then she asked, "Who will help me focus this hatred politically?"

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she made databases and phone banks, and walked door-to-door with petitions that talked of Gods Great Hatred of Gays, and Gods Great Hatred of Judges that did not worship the Hate God in exactly the way the Little Red State Fundy told them to.

Then she carried the hate to steps of the Congress and the White House.

"Who will make a mandate from this hate?" she asked.

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she got on the phone with her very good friend Karl Rove and with his help organized carpools to the polls, and get-out-the-vote drives, anti-gay marriage amendments and smear campaigns. For Jesus.

And Little Red State Fundy delivered the margin of victory and was featured in many, many magazines: without Little Red State Fundy, the Republican Party could never, ever, ever win anything.

And now everybody knew it.

Then she said, "Now who shall help me Rule the Earth."

"We will!" said Moderate Republicans, Undecideds, and Libertarians.

"I am quite sure you would," said Little Red State Fundy, "but see, now you are all my bitches."

Then she called Randall Terry and Tom DeLay and Ann Coulter and Jerry Falwell and Rush Limbaugh and James Dobson, and they and the rest of the Shining Path Republicans used what was left of the Constitution as ass-floss.

And judges were terrorized into silence.

And those deemed ungodly were beaten in the streets.

And they invaded whoever the fuck they felt like, for whatever fucking reason they chose.

And the very idea of a Free and Fair press died.

And to people who had been very clear all along that they genuinely believed in a Theocratic Nanny State and thought that precipitating Armageddon and triggering the Second Coming should be the highest calling of any worldly government, were handed over the police, courts, government, treasury and nuclear weapons stockpiles of the United States of America.

And in the end -- just as they had been warned for the past twenty years -- there was nothing whatsoever left at all for Moderate Republicans, Undecideds, and Libertarians.

Behold, a Tip Jar!

*Ha! Thanks for the catch.  That one made me laugh.