Sunday Morning Party Line

This Sunday, the War of the True Conservative Scotsmen raged on, both on The Twitter Machine --

Honest Q for conservatives who aren't just working with or around Trump, but rationalizing him: In your heart, don't you know you're wrong?

— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) February 19, 2017

Actually Bill, some of us think there's more to the man than his outlandish comments, e.g. his cabinet, his regulatory moves, leg. agenda. https://t.co/6SMtq7dbSc

— Brit Hume (@brithume) February 19, 2017

@brithume @Jrock41S don't we teach our children that words matter? That they signal of who we are and what we value? Leaders lead w/ values

— Matthew Dowd (@matthewjdowd) February 19, 2017

-- and on the Sunday Shows (from Meet the Press):

CHUCK TODD:  Welcome back. Panel is here, Hugh Hewitt, host on the Salem Radio Network, former Democratic Congresswoman Donna Edwards of Maryland. She's been on an RV tour so she took a break. Amy Walter, national editor of the Cook Political Report, and David Brooks, columnist for the New York Times. Welcome all. 

If the American political has manifested two more consistently wrong knuckleheads than Brooks and Hewitt I have yet to have the pleasure, so of course they have Reserved Seating on Meet the Press.

Because the nation's Overton Window was long ago crated up and hauled away to the Maple Street.

Where The Monsters Are Due.

And now that the Monsters are actually here, the spectrum of Acceptable Beltway Political Discourse now runs from Brooks (or Matthew Dowd or Bloody Bill Kristol) to Hewitt (or Brit Hume).

From feckless Beltway frauds like Brooks and Dowd and Kristol, who spent their careers peddling Imaginary Conservatism snake oil and building the Maple Street Monsters, and who now cower in the nave of the High and Holy Church of Both Siderism frantically denying that they had anything to do with anything --

CHUCK TODD:   ... David, I'm going to start with you. Two columns this week that you had were headlined "How Should One Resist the Trump Administration?" That was a Valentine's Day. "What a Failed Trump Administration Looks Like." You have-- That's pretty declarative in thirty days.

DAVID BROOKS: Enemy of the people. I'm an enemy of the people. You know what, my fear of the administration as it's shaken out so far is not that it's incipient fascism, it's that it's anarchy. There are 696 appointed jobs that need, require Senate confirmation, and the Trump administration hasn't come up, named 692 of them. And so there's nobody home in the government. The civil service has basically opted out because they've been offended by Trump. The court system has given themselves permission to block every Trump initiative because they've been attacked by Trump. The intelligence community is some sort of disarray or disaffection. To lead, you actually need to lead a government. And the government has gone AWOL. And so in one of those columns I liken him to Captain Kirk on the Starship Enterprise at the command deck pushing the pretty buttons, but they're not attached to anything. And I've been in touch with a lot of foreign officials this week. They're noticing and they're afraid of a weak United States.

-- to stone, cold wingut goons like Hewitt and Hume who have always been out and proud about their neofascism and are de-fucking-lighted that the Monsters they worked so hard to bring to life are finally here:

HUGH HEWITT:  I think they're going to remember given the rally yesterday that he has got deep and lasting support in red America. And I disagree with David pretty fundamentally on where we are right now. And I think that to quote Dan Rather, "News is where you look." I look at Intel investing seven billion and bringing 3,000 jobs to Arizona.

I look at the Gorsuch nomination. I look at Reince's interview with you which was spectacular. I think if he names John Bolton as his national security advisor today he will find another ally who can do the Sunday shows as well as Reince did with you and articulate...

Hewitt continued to lobby for appointing the objectively batshit John Bolton to the most important national security job on Earth, and casually shrug off the idea of tens of millions of Americans losing their health insurance because as, I have pointed out many times before, Hewitt is not, in fact, human.

He is a cyborg sent from the future to destroy America.

A cyborg sent from the future to destroy America who Comcast/NBC pays to be one of the Respectable Teevee Faces of the Turd Reich.  

And David Brooks -- life-long Republican establishmentarian testicle cozy who has never met a Republican atrocity he would not instantly try to disperse with his mighty Both Siderist Hammer -- is now the Respectable Teevee Face of the Opposition.  

Yes, you have now lived long enough to see David Fucking Brooks repackaged and resold to the Great Wad by Comcast and The New York Times as a leader of the resistance (much to the consternation of noted has-been actor and Conservative lunatic James Woods.)

@RealJamesWoods @nytimes @davidbrooks Not even bothering to get David Brooks' Twitter address right is what makes it art

— driftglass (@Mr_Electrico) February 20, 2017

Which is why it should surprise no one that Brooks' idea of "resistance" (which Chuck Todd never actually touched on because it is too fucking ridiculous) is exactly the sort of scheme you would expect from a life-long Republican establishmentarian testicle cozy whose career depends on not offending powerful people or admitting that his Republican party is the problem (from me last week, "Sex Advice from a Eunuch"):

...it doesn't involve actually "resisting" anything, but instead relies on the entire Republican Party wandering off and getting lost in the woods so that the apparatus of government can be magically taken over and repaired by a generation of Gerald Fords who will suddenly appear and spring into action and fix everything.  

Also on Meet the Press, John McCain did what he always does: fling himself at the nearest available microphone to Talk Big about Murrica and Patriotism, before shambling back to the Congress to obediently toe the party line. His doddering "Maverick" show is an embarrassment which should have closed out of town 20 years ago.   Meanwhile, on ABC, Right-Wing Mole Jonathan Karl had the duty and invited CNN-quality-hire and Trump enforcement-droid Corey Lewandowski to use our public airwaves to lie to the American people.

Sure it was obscene, but isn't is all obscene?

So let us pause this war of the True Conservative Scotsmen to bring you a report on what one awful Libtards was writing 12 years ago, back when every one of these assholes were terribly busy braiding each other's hair, fawning over the economic and military genius of the Bush Administration, slandering the Left and cackling about their Permanent Republican Majority..  From April of 2005:

Little Red State Fundy sez...


Whatever will we tell the children?


One day we will have to explain to the children what happened when Thurston Howell III lost his right mind and decided that for the sake of some tax cuts to make him incrementally more comfortable, his very bestest buddies in the whole, wide world were the Ultra Right Wing Gorgons down in Jesusland.

May I suggest the following?

The Story of Little Red State Fundy

Little Red State Fundy found a grain of hate.

"Who will help me plant the hate?" she asked.

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she buried the hate in the bloody ground of the Old Confederacy. After a while it grew up paranoid and ignorant and violent.

"The hate is ripe now," said Little Red State Fundy. "Who will do the mass mailings and preach bigotry from the Pulpit?"

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she licked envelopes until her bill was cracked and dry and stood up into the House of God and crowed to her flocks in their millions that God Loved Them for hating and killing creatures who were not like them.

Then she asked, "Who will help me focus this hatred politically?"

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she made databases and phone banks, and walked door-to-door with petitions that talked of Gods Great Hatred of Gays, and Gods Great Hatred of Judges that did not worship the Hate God in exactly the way the Little Red State Fundy told them to.

Then she carried the hate to steps of the Congress and the White House.

"Who will make a mandate from this hate?" she asked.

"Not I," said the Moderate Republicans.

"Not I," said the Undecideds.

"Not I," said the Libertarians.

"Then I will," said Little Red State Fundy.

So she got on the phone with her very good friend Karl Rove and with his help organized carpools to the polls, and get-out-the-vote drives, anti-gay marriage amendments and smear campaigns. For Jesus.

And Little Red State Fundy delivered the margin of victory and was featured in many, many magazines: without Little Red State Fundy, the Republican Party could never, ever, ever win anything.

And now everybody knew it.

Then she said, "Now who shall help me Rule the Earth."

"We will!" said Moderate Republicans, Undecideds, and Libertarians.

"I am quite sure you would," said Little Red State Fundy, "but see, now you are all my bitches."

Then she called Randall Terry and Tom DeLay and Ann Coulter and Jerry Falwell and Rush Limbaugh and James Dobson, and they and the rest of the Shining Path Republicans used what was left of the Constitution as ass-floss.
And judges were terrorized into silence.
And those deemed ungodly were beaten in the streets.
And they invaded whoever the fuck they felt like, for whatever fucking reason they chose.
And the very idea of a Free and Fair press died.

And to people who had been very clear all along that they genuinely believed in a Theocratic Nanny State and thought that precipitating Armageddon and triggering the Second Coming should be the highest calling of any worldly government, were handed over the police, courts, government, treasury and nuclear weapons stockpiles of the United States of America.

And in the end -- just as they had been warned for the past twenty years -- there was nothing whatsoever left at all for Moderate Republicans, Undecideds, and Libertarians.

And one more thought, courtesy of Brother Charlie Pierce:

And, please, for the love of god, ye editors and news directors throughout the land, enough with the expeditions into the heartland to talk to people who helped bring this down upon themselves and on us. These folks have nothing new to say. They voted their id and their spleen and they're still on a high from that. Some guy in a café in Dubuque wants to say that he voted for this president* because he "tells it like it is," or because he thinks the steel mills are coming back? Can you watch that rally in Florida and believe that these opinions have any real merit?

These opinions had no merit 12 years ago.

They have no merit now.

And they will have no merit two years from now when the Pig People rise as one to declare that none of this was their fault and that they've never even heard of Donald Trump