Friday, April 01, 2016

Breaking: David Brooks Leaves The New York Times

...for a day.
David Brooks is off today.
Baby steps, people.  Baby steps.

Maybe after eleven more years I can drive him away for a whole week.

Rumor has it that, true to his word, he has gone out into the wilderness to seek a position at a "company" which performs "labour" so as to better understand where Joe and Jane Lollygagger stand on Edmund Burke.  Today he'll try his luck at Amalgamated Spats, Congreve's Inflammable Powder and that up-and-coming Baltimore Opera Hat Company.

Eleven years?

Yep.  It's true.  Today is my 11th blogiversary, which I will mark for future generations by spending the next few days working that fact awkwardly into various posts and then pointing you in the direction of my PayPal link.

Like so.


Malacandra said...

Happy elevensies, Driftglass!

Unknown said...

This is justice in these Untied States today - you beg and plead for scraps on your tiny little blog in the middle of nowhere, while DFB is "off" today, on a "well-earned" sabbatical, possibly to mingle and observe the great unwashed labor pool like a perfumed and well-coiffed Jane Goodall or Dian Fossey (except for being totally unqualified - I mean those women actually have some credibility in their fields).

I expect the time off will serve him well; he will probably come back with an enlightened account of how auto workers in the big new repurposed Assan motors plant in Hadleyville, PA should be glad that their new Japanese overlords were even willing to take a chance on them. That Michael Keaton is one heck of a foreman, and DFB sees nothing but good things in store for the plant and the town.

And the best part is that, even though EVERYONE will ask what the hell is going on, and why DFB is obviously referencing a plot from a bad 80s movie, there will be no professional consequences for DFB, and no one on the Sunday Televised Mutual Handjob Circuit will even mention it. He will go on spewing irrelevant fantasies completely divorced from reality into the pages of the once-august NYT, and just like the famed naked Emperor from the story, no one in the rarefied stratum of his social circle will be anything but gracious and complimentary to him. And of course, security will insure he never has to hear any exclamations of surprise from any children that might pierce the veil of his self-induced dementia to disclaim his new clothing as nothing more than air.

As an impotent observer, I wonder of there will ever be a circumstance whereby DFB's obvious calumnies will ever result in his downfall.

I predict not.

Yastreblyansky said...

Happy Brooksday! And many more years to you.

RUKidding said...

Be still my beating heart! DFBs gets shit canned from the NYTs?? Can it be??

Nah. April Fools! heh...

dinthebeast said...

Happy blogiversary Driftglass!
Every time I finish reading Krugman and there at the bottom of the page is the little announcement "David Brooks is off today" I always sort of reflexively say to myself "I knew it felt like a good day today..."

-Doug in Oakland

Robt said...

Brooks no longer scribbles notes to his psychiatrist via the NYT and gets paid for it.

Yeah right, Not riding that jackass. I'll take the bus and throw him under it instead.

The ideological prodigal conservative son will return as advertised.

I always thought it amusing that the NYT puts up BFB to display and represent the conservative menagerie.

May I just say,
Brooks' inevitability that both sides of the conservative death spiral , Siderism is simply spreading vomit on a shit sandwich.
Because republican purity has now become ,
"The other guy is unfit, corrupt,unqualified, lying immoral bastard.
But yes, I will vote for him if he is the GOP nominee".

That is the difference between an April Fool and a Fool in April.

chautauqua said...

"David Brooks is off today".

And pretty much every other day as well.

Neo Tuxedo said...

like a perfumed and well-coiffed Jane Goodall or Dian Fossey

It would be ungracious, and also potentially subject to legal action, for me to hope DFB met the same fate as Dian Fossey, so I'm not going to express that hope.

Mark Lunn said...

Happy Blogiversery, Driftglass!

Mark Lunn said...

Oh, and yes it is objectively delicious watching the GOP chickens come home to roost.