Monday, March 07, 2016

Mikey and Me


Today, tiny New York plutocrat Michael Bloomberg and I both decided that it would be unwise for either of us to make a third party run for president.   We both realize that even if we spent a considerable fraction of our net worth, each of use would probably win the same number of electoral votes --zero -- and end up having either a negligible or a negative effect on the race.

Mikey speaks for both of us when he says:
...
I’ve always been drawn to impossible challenges, and none today is greater or more important than ending the partisan war in Washington and making government work for the American people -- not lobbyists and campaign donors. Bringing about this change will require electing leaders who are more focused on getting results than winning re-election, who have experience building small businesses and creating jobs, who know how to balance budgets and manage large organizations, who aren’t beholden to special interests -- and who are honest with the public at every turn. I’m flattered that some think I could provide this kind of leadership.

But when I look at the data, it’s clear to me that if I entered the race, I could not win. I believe I could win a number of diverse states -- but not enough to win the 270 Electoral College votes necessary to win the presidency.
...
You're welcome, America!


7 comments:

RUKidding said...

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya, Mikey. And no, we're not gonna miss ya, either. Buh-BYE!

Racer X said...

You cut off the part where he endorses Bernie Sanders or was he just kidding about that "making government work for the American people” stuff?

Robt said...

Always looking for a challenge?

The challenge to inflate your ego and play out the Plutocrat role from your childhood?

There are plenty of challenges, so many deserving.

Pick one and move it to resolve.

Mer. businessman...................

For someone who lobbies (as Trump) it is what they know and what they do.

At everyone elses expense.

Lit3Bolt said...

Only Bloomberg could make NOT running for President an ego bath for himself.

You're worth 44 billion, and you still need worthless yesmen and flattery to justify your existence? In the Immortal Words of Drumpf....SAD!

Sure, Mikey. You saved America by not running! Now here's the happy pills to make the crazy go bye-bye! Open wide, Mikey! Zooooooooom!!

Lit3Bolt said...

David Brooks just laid another turd. "There's a third way between fascism and anarchy! Something something Burke Whig Hamilton Federalist STOP IT STOP CHANGING STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!!"

bowtiejack said...

I salute you for putting country first and, by your example, inspiring Bloomberg to do the right thing.

Jimbo said...

Personally, I think L'il Mikey realized that every vote for you would have cancelled out every vote for him leaving him with nil or even a net negative and a humiliating outcome.