Five of these are delivered to you hot and stanky from America's Most Respected Moral Thought Leader, David Brooks, via a column in the New York Times for which he is paid large sums of real, American money.
One of them I just made up.
- Live life as a series of revelations.
- We’re social creatures.
- We’re historical creatures.
- We’re mystical creatures.
- We’re moral creatures.
- Have you ever looked at your hand, man? I mean really, really looked at it?
I currently hold the title of America's Leading Brooksologist and I have no fucking idea what he is prattling on about.
Did I mention that this --
Let’s say you had the chance to become a vampire.
-- is the opening sentence?
Is the New York Times paying him to creep on some co-ed who's into Twilight? Or is he barely sublimating his divorce into his column again? Or does he haz a sad that Donald Trump is making a picnic lunch out of the carefully constructed fascist political movement to which he has devoted his entire adult life?
No. Fucking. Clue.