One of these days, some enterprising young hacker is going to slip a slice of Raspberry Pi into the in-house surveillance system at NBC and treat the rest of us to the sight of Phil Griffin cowering under his office desk while Joe Scarborough and his gang of Beltway hacks, wannabes, has-beens and never-weres rampage through the halls, slapping "Trump 2016!" bumper stickers on every flat surface, peeing in the corners and generally putting the Roger Ailes' stank on all that they touch.
But until that day, we outsiders on MSNBC assisted suicide watch who have no special access to the corridors of media power can speculate shrewdly on WTF is going on with America's one-time "Liberal" network by noting things like this morning's train-wreck. Not "live" mind you -- it is long past time to deprive "Morning Joe" of the oxygen of viewership and let it finally die!die!die!-- but through the magic of blogs and embeddable video clips many things are knowable.
This morning, Mr. Lawrence O'Donnell (MSNBC' night-side) had the bad manners to slap Donald Trump's dick out of Joe Scarborough's mouth and point out that Trump is a clown and a liar. The specific issue at hand was actually fairly straightforward: Is Trump lying about how much NBC pays him?
In one corner, Mr. Lawrence O'Donnell, citing facts that are a matter of public record, including repeated mentions of this press release which NBC was forced to make the last time Trump tried to dance around this maypole (emphasis added):
"The financial information reported today in regards to 'The Celebrity Apprentice' is grossly inaccurate and has been significantly overstated. While it is our policy to keep financial information strictly confidential, neither the production costs of the show nor what Mr. Trump makes personally is in the realm of reality. Donald Trump and 'The Apprentice' franchise remain a key part of the NBC primetime lineup and we are looking forward to another compelling cycle next season."
These uncontested facts baffled and irritated Mr. Scarborough, who is very, very stupid. Which is why all of Mr. Scarborough's hirelings and minions (including respected ABC employee Bloody Bill Kristol, because hey, why the fuck not!) congealed in the opposite corner and proceeded to bulldoze right over Mr. O'Donnell's inconvenient facts with a lot of snark about Mr. O'Donnell being jealous and Hillary Clinton's speaking fees.
Because they are obedient little hacks and Daddy spank!
Mr. O'Donnell's performance, in fact, gave MSNBC's Bill O'Reilly-lite such agita that he bravely waited -- seething -- until Mr. O'Donnell was safely out of the studio to start really calling him a poopy poop-head, which caused the fracas to spill into the internet men's room:
Note to @Morning_Joe Try to reserve all your inaccurate descriptions of what I said to when I'm actually still on your set to correct you.— Lawrence O'Donnell (@Lawrence) July 16, 2015
Sensing that Mr. Trump's dick was still dangerously air-gapped from the protection of a wingnut hack's pie-hole. Mark Halperin leaped into action, clamping down like a moray eel on Mr. Trump's untended member, fawning over his populist appeal and comparing him swooningly to -- no kidding -- noted Italian neofascist, Silvio Berlusconi.
Of course the problem of the turd Mr. O'Donnell left in their happy-clappy Beltway punch-bowl remained: Donald Trump is a liar and is a clown and those traits aren't exactly rare mutations in the candidates the Party of Lincoln is fielding for President this year. So how to cope with that?
Lay down a nice, big, loud Both Sides Do It artillery barrage:
Joe Scarborough: And by the way, take note that the only ones who say crazy thing in Mika's world in the South of France are Republicans. Bernie Sanders has said crazy things. Elizabeth Warren has said crazy things. Nancy Pelosi has said crazy things. So anyway I just wanted to level this out. So everyone has said something crazy including us at some point...
Nothing's gonna stop this train.