Monday, February 09, 2015

How How Do You Turn This Year's Most Popular Two-Dimensional Suburban Book Club FapLit Up A Notch?

Just add Buscemi.


Kevin Holsinger said...

Good morning, Mr. Glass.

"This Year's Most Popular Two-Dimensional Suburban Book Club FapLit"

Either you're attacking 50 Shades of Grey out of ignorance, which means you're not a very good liberal...or you've actually read 50 Shades of Grey.

Which is it, sir? :)

Enjoy your day.

---Kevin Holsinger

bowtiejack said...

Good morning, Mr. Holsinger.

I'm a liberal and I haven't read the book, but fortunately (apparently unfortunately for them) others have.

From the NYT Book Review:
"This S-and-M story about a virginal college student and the handsome young billionaire who binds her sounds racier than it is. Mostly it’s an updated throwback to scandalous novels of the past, including “Jane Eyre” and the 1920s desert rape fantasy “The Sheik.”"
"Ms. James created a story that adds kinkiness to the basic formula: a rich, handsome bachelor falls for a young, innocent beauty. There’s always a hitch; usually the hero has a secret weakness that only the heroine can handle and that ensures that she alone can hold his affection. Mr. Rochester had a mad wife in the attic, and Christian Grey has S-and-M toys hidden in his “red room of pain.”"

"As female fantasies go, it’s a twofer: lasting love and a winning Mega Millions lottery ticket. And what is shameful about “Fifty Shades of Grey” isn’t the submissive sex, it’s the Cinderella story."

Gawd, it sounds wonderful.

And from one of the 10,000 or so (actual count) negative reviews on Amazon:
"About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he's not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he's never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey."
Wow, how did he get in all those flight hours AND the piano practice while making his first billion before 26!

So, alas your "put your hand in the wound" first argument fails. This is obviously a silly book. Fortunately as a liberal who believes in stuff like science, education, research and the role of criticism, I didn't have to waste time reading it first to find that out.

Kevin Holsinger said...

Good morning, Bowtiejack.

Poorly constructed joke, I'm afraid. I listened to the entirety of "Holy Cast! So Freakin' Pod!", a podcast that dissected 50 Shades chapter-by-chapter. So I know what that book is about without having read it.

I just liked the idea of Mr. Glass having to choose between admitting that he was attacking something out of ignorance...or admitting he'd actually sat down for a week and read all that Inner Goddess stuff.

Alas, typed jokes don't always work. Oh well.

Enjoy your day.

bowtiejack said...

My apologies. I probably need to take remedial snark or something. But shortly before I posted that, somebody told me that in various translations this thing had sold 100 million copies (no idea if that is true) and I had despaired of the human prospect.

Kathleen O'Neill said...

Just three random notes. 1) 50 Shades holds record for number of online ticket sales for a movie 2) Bible Belt states are ordering the most tickets (Alabama was at the top of the list) 3) Cincinnati Archdiocese issued a letter telling Catholics not to see the movie. Too lazy to link.