Monday, October 06, 2014

A Journey Of A Thousand Shambles

Begins with a single derp.

In the end, it took The Mustache of Understanding about 20 bloody Friedman Units to get from Suck On This:
To Desiderata:
And be humble. We don’t have the wisdom, resources or staying power to do anything more than contain these organisms, until the natural antibodies from within emerge.
In case you were wondering what the rest of Mr. Friedman's column contains (and why would you?)  about 50 percent of it is a long Copy/Paste excerpt from "The Dark Knight".

I'm not kidding:
Bruce Wayne: “Criminals aren’t complicated, Alfred. Just have to figure out what he’s after.” 
Alfred Pennyworth: “With respect, Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that you don’t fully understand, either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But, in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.”

And most of the rest is a laundry list of how the world would be if'n Tommy boy could just wish-wish-wish away a thousand years of history and a million years of human nature.

And yes, he does get paid to do this.

Twice a week,

For the most prestigious newspaper in America.


Anonymous said...

Good morning, Mr. Glass.

I don’t mind referencing “The Dark Knight”, but the analogy doesn’t work. Batman didn’t win the day by building up the Gotham PD and letting the Joker burn himself out. He won the day by breaking the law. "I see now what I have to become to stop men like him." That was kinda the whole point.

Also, it’s pretty funny if you apply this article to the Political Right (Islam = Christian. Arab = Rightwing).

Enjoy your day.

---Kevin Holsinger

dixie blood said...

I don't think we can call it "the most prestigious newspaper in America" anymore.

Anonymous said...

"Because we could." Teens of thousands of Iraqi dead and that's all he can say. Makes me ashamed to be member of his species.

dinthebeast said...

In the immortal words of the dearly departed Molly Ivins Re: The New York Times:
"Gang pluck."

-Doug in Oakland

ssj said...

He neglected to mention the seven or eight additional bubbles, one of which resides in his brain.