Friday, September 05, 2014

Beltway Avengers Assemble!



Boldly gambling that Wingnut Red will be the high fashion  color for at least these next two years of gridlock, sabotage and impeachment, Shuck Todd -- the Beltway Avenger's New Team Leader -- has boldly assembled a bold, new team to boldly confront the challenge of rebooting NBC's rotten-to-the-orlop flagship!

With boldness!

What makes Mr. Todd's experiment so vewy, vewy exciting (some even say "bold") is that, rather than take the traditional route and try something "new" or "good" or even "mildly unusual" to save the dying franchise, he has decided instead to try a daring combination of "changing nothing whatsoever" about what is fundamentally wrong with this truly wretched program, while boldly "doubling down" on the poison that killed it:
...
NBC is bringing in Luke Russert, son of the late beloved “Meet the Press” host Tim Russert, as a regular panelist on the Sunday morning show in a bid to turn around its catastrophic ratings slide, Page Six has exclusively learned.

Also joining new moderator Chuck Todd’s team will be former Republican congressman and “Morning Joe” host Joe Scarborough, who sources say “is taking on a larger role within NBC News as a senior political analyst and would be one of the regular Sunday panelists.”
... 
The source added, “Chuck Todd is busily assembling the team of on-air talent that will join him on the new ‘Meet the Press.’ Joe will be a regular alongside Luke Russert, whose father famously moderated the show for 16-plus years.”

Russert, 29, is currently NBC’s congressional correspondent. Nia-Malika Henderson of the Washington Post and a few others, including NBC’s chief foreign affairs correspondent Andrea Mitchell, are also said to be in the mix for a new panel...
This is necessary, of course, to counteract the influence of famed CommieSymp, David Gregory --
We’re told the move is part of a plan to bring a right-leaning voice to the program to appeal to viewers turned off by the show’s famously left-leaning former hosts including the ousted David Gregory.
-- who, it is also reported, is busy writing a long apology to God Almighty for having such a fucking horrible show --
David Gregory slated to write a book about Judaism and his 'spiritual journey'
 -- the relentless flogging of which one can only speculate was part of the mountain of money NBC dropped on Greggers to make him go away.

Will it be blurbed by David Brooks?

"Exclusively!"?

Only time will tell.

Meanwhile, unless this is some eleven-dimensional chess, Inception shit and someone a has gotten into Luke Russert's dreams and convinced him to get in there and deliberately tear down his Daddy's empire, none of this makes a lick of sense...



...until you remember that the Brain Wizards behind "Meet the Press" never gave the tiniest fuck about what you think to begin with.

21 comments:

Neo Tuxedo said...

famously left-leaning former hosts including the ousted David Gregory

Page Six is a component of the Murdoch Post, is it not? I guess when you're so far right that you're off the map of God Herself, Dancin' Dave looks left-wing. Hell, President Obama looks left-wing to those yipyops.

Anonymous said...

Driftglass,

“…famously left-leaning former hosts including the ousted David Gregory.” Let me be the first to say: What the fuck are they talking about??? Oy vey!

“Meet the new boss, just like the old boss.” As the Who said so eloquently, long ago in a place far, far away.

DeistPaladin said...

It's like you always say, DG, with today's right wing, you are never allowed to admit being wrong about anything except "not being conservative enough". So no surprise that in the face of abject failure, MTP has determined the problem was being too liberal. As much as progressives will be surprised to find that David Gregory was "left leaning", it's the only logical conclusion when "we weren't conservative enough" is the only diagnosis you're ever allowed to make.

Kathleen said...

The only book about a "spiritual journey" The Fluffy One is fit to write is "Dante's Inferno for Dummies".

Fred said...

@Kathleen

"Dante's Inferno for Dummies"

Thank you.

bowtiejack said...

OK boys and girls, in today's exercise in Alternative History, what would Little Luke be doing if Dad [confirmed by his Cheney-pipeline role as the avatar of the compliant Beltway courtier] not passed on?

Anyone? Anyone? . . . Bueller? Bueller? . . . Anyone?

bowtiejack said...

OK boys and girls, in today's exercise in Alternative History, what would Little Luke be doing if Dad [confirmed by his Cheney-pipeline role as the avatar of the compliant Beltway courtier] not passed on?

Anyone? Anyone? . . . Bueller? Bueller? . . . Anyone?

Anonymous said...

Good morning, Mr. Glass.

Let's see, how do we go with this?

1. Meet the New Press, Same as the Old Press.

2. The Usual Suspects.

3. The Washington Generals (guys who always lose to the Harlem Globetrotters).

4. The New #2 and the Villagers (The Prisoner).

Enjoy your weekend.

---Kevin Holsinger

dixie blood said...

Little Luke would be saying, "Would you like frys with that?"

marindenver said...

In everything I've read about this I just keep rubbing my eyes and thinking "I CAN'T be reading this right - I just CAN'T". But it appears that I am. Be interesting to see how long it lasts. Scarborough is a dick, Russert is a spoiled, stuck-up, entitled brat and Andrea Mitchell is humorless and conceited. I'm sure those panel discussions will go just great!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

we need to start a pool on how many weeks they broadcast before finding a fifth-tier sporting event to pre-empt for.

bonus points for predicting the nature of the sport. I am going with Senior Frisbee Golf.

Kathleen said...

@Fred

You're welcome! I want to find more creative vocabulary to describe these soulless entities that dominate our discourse. They do more damage than Fox.

eddie blake said...

just did a spit-take with the 'famously left leaning' crap. what, when dancing with rove, was he leaning left?

motherfuckers.

dinthebeast said...

I still say they should have come clean, burnt an offering to the god of AYS, and given it to McCain. Sure, he would be annoying, but any time he spent hosting a show would be that much less time wrecking the country. And could he really be much worse than what they're proposing? "Worse? How can it get any worse? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah!"

-Doug in Oakland

Kathleen said...

Well, based on comments I've read on a Balloon Juice open thread, Chuckles' debut/interview with Obama was absolutely horrible, as was the commentary. Spoiler Alert: evidently the program opened with the panel opining that basically Obama is a disaster and no one supports him. That was at the beginning. Then they evidently ran a portion of the interview then stopped to let the panel spew ther rabies foam. I can't wait to read DG's "Sunday Morning Comin' Down" takedown. Bless you, DG. How do you watch this without garlic cloves and crucifixes?

marindenver said...

@Kathleen - And of course Chucktard grilled Obama about his horrible very bad optics of playing golf on the same day he spoke about the James Foley murder by ISIS. Obama's reply was basically "fuck you & fuck optics".

marindenver said...

@Kathleen - And of course Chucktard grilled Obama about his horrible very bad optics of playing golf on the same day he spoke about the James Foley murder by ISIS. Obama's reply was basically "fuck you & fuck optics".

Zaftig Amazon said...

The only think that interests me about Meet the Press is how much further their ratings are going to drop.

Kathleen said...

@marindenver

I tweeted the following at #MeetTheMess: Shorter Chuckles the Toad to PBO: "Why don't you just put ISIS in FEMA camps in Syria?"

Monster from the Id said...

Kathleen--has Drifty ever said he does not use garlic cloves and crucifixes? ;)

Kathleen said...

@marindenver: OMG! You actually watched it? I'm cringing from the dribs and drabs I've heard ABOUT the "interview". It sounded appalling. I wonder if Chuckles the Toad would have talked to Bush or any other white president that way.

@Monster from the Id: Ha!

I'm working on my version of the Chuck Todd interview for my writers' group tomorrow night. I'm really having fun. It's a great way to channel my rage and loathing of that pathetic weasel.

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