The Grand Dragon of the Tribe That Rubs Shit In Their Hair -- UPDATE Of Course There's Video

Longtime readers know that "The Tribe That Rubs Shit In Their Hair" is my shorthand for inbred Conservative meatsticks who have wallowed in wingnut Hate Radio racist dung and Fox News Liberal Conspiracy claptrap for so long that is has become the quotidian argot of their wretched lives.  It is their tavern-talk -- their worst, paranoid delusions, externalized, validated, tarted up as The Unvarnished Truth and then regurgitated back to them by ghouls and treason-mongers like Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly... which are, in turn, passed around again like so many fish stories, getting bigger and wilder and truthier with iteration.   

It is the shit they eagerly rub in their hair -- the shit which, year after year, they sculpt into ever more elaborate pompadours because everyone else in their dingy, lightless corner of Universe is doing it and they lost their sense of smell 40 years ago.

They preen over each other.  They are happy in each other's company.  They praise each other on the little, individual touches with which they have customized their Shitheap Toupees -- an extra layer of Benghaaaazi, perhaps, appliqued over something something the New Black Panther Party because ACORN!.

And all is right with the world...right up until they leave the cocoon of their Wingnut Pig Sty and step into the normal world, where they are Shocked!Shocked! that ordinary people flee from them in horror.

...

Republican politicians began backtracking on their support of Nevada anti-government rancher Cliven Bundy after the New York Times caught Bundy making racially-inflammatory remarks blaming African-Americans for willingly submiting to dependency on federal assistance.

“They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton,” Bundy was quoted as saying to a group of supporters last Saturday. “And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”

Bundy’s statements about “the Negro,” published on Wednesday, were made during his daily speech to supporters outside Bunkerville, Nevada, where a crowd gathered to support him in defiance of the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) during an attempted round up of his cattle. The confrontation was the result of Bundy’s refusal to pay grazing fees on federally-owned land for more than 20 years, in spite of multiple court rulings against him. Bundy has stated on several occasions that he does not recognize the existence of the federal government.

And this is the great conflict at the heart of being a Conservative in the world.  Conservatism's Media Brain Caste has taught you to embrace your Inner Klansman and be Out and Proud as a pig-ignorant wingnut chum-bucket...while the gutless, weak-ass fuckers of Conservatism's Political Brain Caste would pretty please like you to shut the fuck up about it when you're talking to anyone with press credentials.

Speaking as a Liberal, I must say I wholeheartedly support Conservatism's Media Brain Caste in this regard.

Keep talking, Cliven, and pay no heed to what those Commies say!  Your hair is lustrous, freedom-loving, a million-miles long and smells just like Jesus.

UPDATE:

Because he's a Genuine Conservative Christian Murrican Patriot, now that Cliven Bundy has dialed into the fact that parading his giant, racist freak flag in front of the national press wasn't the brightest idea he's ever had, he is, of course, trying to walk some of the worst of it back:

During a Thursday appearance on conspiracy theory enthusiast Alex Jones’ radio show, Cliven Bundy tried to lessen the damage to his reputation wrought by a New York Times reportshowing him to be almost comically racist by claiming the Times misquoted him.

“No, I did not say picking cotton,” Bundy told Jones, according to an audio clip posted by journalist Adrian Chen. Bundy didn’t deny he said all the other stuff quoted in the New York Times — about African-Americans hanging out on porches, blithely aborting babies, being less free than when they were slaves, etc. — but insisted he never brought up cotton.

And because it is 2014 and not 1854, there exists something called a "video tape" which shows what a lying sack of shit this Conservative Christian Murrican Patriot really is:

Or, as future Republican presidential front runner Ted Cruz put it,



just another victim of this 'Tragic Culmination' Of Obama's 'Jackboot of Authoritarianism'