Sunday Morning Comin' Down -- UPDATE

"David Brooks Talks To America's Kids About Manhood" Edition.

Oh my goodness.

From Think Progress:

New York Times’ David Brooks Says Obama Has ‘A Manhood Problem In The Middle East’

Sounds exactly like a guy who just had his balls sawed off and fed to the dogs in a divorce.

Of course, on the one hand, I'm just speculating wildly without any actual evidence to support my assertion (after all, we all know Mr. Brooks lost his balls in a tragic Jewels of Nuance dancing accident years ago.).  On the other hand, "speculating wildly without any actual evidence" makes me every bit as qualified as David Brooks to have a column-for-life in the New York Times and a chair held out for me in perpetuity on Meet the Press.  More qualified, actually, since unlike Mr. Brooks, I have not been completely fucking wrong about everything for the last 30 years.

But, as it turns out, I do not have a column in the NYT, or permanent seat at NBC or NPR or PBS where I am free to urinate my horrible opinions onto millions of people without the slightest risk of those horrible opinions ever be challenged in any serious way.  What I do have are two writing assignments that suddenly fell into my lap a few days ago after a long drought.  They're both technical, large and complex. Both have non-negotiable deadlines of tomorrow.  One is on-spec and might/maybe/could possibly lead to something; the other  is a contract gig where I will be paid a small quantity of actual money if I finish on time with every box checked, budgeted dollar nailed down, chart finished and so forth.  The people who hired me are already slammed and simply could not handle it in-house, so...

1. Welcome to the new economy!  And, 
2. I am extremely grateful for the work.

However before I vanish back into the cave with 20 gallon I.V. bag of coffee, let me just say that, over in the Better Universe, someone who shit the bed as publicly as David Brooks on the subjects of virility, Commander Codpiece and Operation Endless Clusterfuck -- someone who had so recently and unequivocally proven to know as little about war and peace and manhood as a two-ton block of lead knows about buoyancy -- would know enough to shut the fuck up about all of that forever.

But over in this Universe it is a well established fact that the penalty for Neocon pundits who get everything grotesquely and public wrong is precisely zero.  Well, zero plus the occasional promotion, TED talk and Award for Civility.

And until we find a reliable method of publicly shaming people like David Brooks, this is how we will continue to roll.

Back to the cave.

Wish me luck.

PS.  Thanks to Brother Charlie Pierce for the link!

UPDATE I:

I had not realized that the Conservative David Brooks had ditch-drowned yet another of his Movement's bastard children. (h/t Heather at Crooks and Liars):

David Brooks Calls Antigovernment Extremists At Bundy Ranch 'Politically Un-Ideological'

It looks like Bobo and Dana Milbank were reading the exact same set of talking points, with both of them claiming that this protest in no way is representative of a rebirth of the militia movement. Brooks wants us to believe these people only engaged in "pseudo-militia activity" and that they're "otherwise politically un-ideological." I would beg to differ.
...

Longtime readers know that this is not David Brooks' first after-hours trip to the political abortion clinic.

Not by a damn sight.

From me in 2011...

Well Into Their 117th Trimesters 

David Brooks and David Frum both suddenly decide they really don't want to keep Reagan's baby.

Earlier today Mr. Brooks placed his order for a political D&C through pursed-lips and a frowny face by rewriting Reality's Timeline so that he was somehow never a part of the 30-year lead-up to the Giant Pig Party Implosion at the end of the Empire we see bearing monstrous fruit all around us.

Mr. Frum, more comically, decided instead to pretend that the person most responsible for the Giant Pig Party Implosion at the end of the Empire...was the Reasonable-to-a-Fault Democratic President! Because he has so far failed to put Frum's Republican Party down like the sick animal that it is, and failed to clean up the toxic partisan sewer that David Frum helped create..despite Mr. Frum and every other Conservative douchebag in America being warned to beware just exactly these consequences for the last 30 years by two generations of Liberals...

UPDATE II:  Welcome Esquire readers!