Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Music by Ayn Rand -- Lyrics by Lloyd Blankfein

Another one of our plutocrat overlords would like you to know how completely awesome he is, in both this life and the next:
Mr. [Michael] Bloomberg was introspective as he spoke, and seemed both restless and wistful. When he sat down for the interview, it was a few days before his 50th college reunion. His mortality has started dawning on him, at 72. And he admitted he was a bit taken aback by how many of his former classmates had been appearing in the “in memoriam” pages of his school newsletter.

But if he senses that he may not have as much time left as he would like, he has little doubt about what would await him at a Judgment Day. Pointing to his work on gun safety, obesity and smoking cessation, he said with a grin: “I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close.”
One of the little-known perks of vast wealth is that no matter how many times you break your arm patting yourself on the back --

Blankfein Says He’s Just Doing ‘God’s Work’


The chief executive of Goldman Sachs, which has attracted widespread media attention over the size of its staff bonuses, says he believes banks serve a social purpose and are “doing God’s work.”

“We’re very important,” Lloyd C. Blankfein said in an interview with The Times of London. “We help companies to grow by helping them to raise capital. Companies that grow create wealth. This, in turn, allows people to have jobs that create more growth and more wealth. It’s a virtuous cycle.”

The dominant Wall Street bank posted third-quarter earnings of $3 billion and plans to hand out more than $16 billion in year-end bonuses.

He said that he understood, however, that people were angry with bankers’ actions: “I know I could slit my wrists and people would cheer.”

But he is, he told The Times, just a banker “doing God’s work.”
-- you always have a team of top-notch concierge medical specialists waiting on standby to instantly rebuild your shattered humerus even better than it was before.


Anonymous said...

Good morning, Mr. Glass.

Michael Bloomberg-Net Worth:
$31.2 Billion

Lloyd Blankfein-Net Worth:
$450 Million

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

Enjoy your day.

---Kevin Holsinger

Anonymous said...

I don't have a problem with either of those statements. Both men fight against conservative social causes, so they should have more cash. I'd prefer the cash come from cultural conservatives in rural areas. I'd rather Goldman Sachs, the most progressive place to work, partner of the Human Rights Campaign, which has done more to support gay marriage through money than any activist ever did, get rich than some dumb Christian hick have a cent to their name.

Sorry, this is how we win. Money for our people is money out of their hands and out of the Church.

Monster from the Id said...

Anon @ 1:00 PM--Whoever you are, your schtick is getting old real fast. :p

Anonymous said...

Must be wonderful to be so powerful that you can tell God where to get off.
Bloom: "Interview? Screw that, I own the damn place. Hey, doncha think it's time to change these tacky curtains, bub? Get one of the ladies to take care of it, willya?"

dinthebeast said...

"...and my heaven will be a big heaven,
and I will walk through the front door..." -Peter Gabriel, "Big Time"

-Doug in Oakland

HBinswanger said...

Comment by Kevin Holsinger tells the whole story: anti-capitalism is motivated by religious morality.

It's amazing that people can use a 21st century technological device to deliver themselves a (preposterous) moral judgment based on the superstitions of 2100 years ago.

Harry Binswanger

Horace Boothroyd III said...


That's funny, I always heard it as "...and my heaven will be a big hell" but that was, what, thirty years ago?

Funny how the memory plays tricks.

n1ck said...

When you worship Mammon, wealth is a sign of God's love.

When you worship Mammon, handing out vast amounts of money to the already rich is doing God's work.

Cirze said...

I think it's more than hilarious (farcical?) that two of the wealthiest people from Wall Street feel the need to congratulate themselves on their inherent goodness and unquestioned integrity in newspaper/TV/Internet coverage as possessors of Christian virtue, embracing traditional non-Christian views (all while entertaining their critics as well!).

Sometimes I wonder what religion they think they're practicing.

Jewish Christians or Christian Jews, I'm thinking.

Cause it surely isn't Zen Buddhism (or even Hinduism).

And they are absolutely ensured by their training that money controls Heavenly entry, aren't they?

As they laugh all the way back to the bank.