Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Isn't He Special*

From CNN:
Sen. Lindsey Graham: Obama budget 'guts our defense'
Posted by
CNN's Dana Davidsen

(CNN) – Sen. Lindsey Graham said the Obama administration's proposed budget "guts our defense" and ignores the need for military preparation for future conflicts.

The South Carolina Republican told CNN's Candy Crowley Sunday that if the United States were to need to take immediate military action in an international conflict, that situation would drain defense resources.
Right now, Senator (and former House impeachment manager) Lindsey Olin Graham is doing the only thing a Republican cowering in the shallowest closet in America politics while trying to fight his way through a yeee-haw! teabagger primary in the great state of South Carolina can do -- throw the hungry wingnut mob as much red meat as possible as fast as possible to keep them from turning on him.  And because the politics of  the Party of Jefferson Davis are now 100% predictable and and constricted to the point where nothing is permitted beyond rearranging the same six or seven Fox-approved lies over and over again, tomorrow it'll be Obamacare, or the IRS, or "gun grabbing" or something else you have heard a thousand times before.  

Of course, if Senator Graham feels so strongly that the President was deliberately weakening the country for callow, political motives, he does have another, obvious course of action.  At any time, Senator (and former House impeachment manager) Lindsey Olin Graham is free to take full advantage of his constitutional right to run for President.  

Right now, the GOP has no obvious front-runner for 2016, so if Senator Graham actually believes the shit he is slinging, he could announce tomorrow and jump to the head of the field.  He could get the band back together and spend the next two years crisscrossing America with John McCain, Holy Joe Liebermann and Dick Cheney on the jazz flute, promising to double or triple or octuple the defense budget.   Promising to get us back into Iraq as soon as possible.  Promising to push onward and outward until both the Ottomans and the Persians are finally defeated and the confederation of kings who rule Atlantis are also brought low.

Then, at last, on to Lost Carcosa and Victory! (Spoilers)

Along the shore the cloud waves break,
The twin suns sink beneath the lake,
The shadows lengthen
     In Carcosa.

Strange is the night where black stars rise,
And strange moons circle through the skies
But stranger still is
     Lost Carcosa.

Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
Where flap the tatters of the King,
Must die unheard in
     Dim Carcosa.

Song of my soul, my voice is dead;
Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
Shall dry and die in
     Lost Carcosa.
Of course, one minute after Senator Graham dipped a toe into the presidential primary waters, the howler monkeys of the Party of Jefferson Davis would smash the fragile hinges of this flimsy closet, drag him squalling into the noonday sun and eat him alive with a side of biscuits and gravy.

Which I, for one, would pay real money to see.

*h/t to reader Dave M. who suggested that Senator Graham would make a fine Church Lady.


Anonymous said...

OK, I'm sorry for this being off topic, but it's just too rich not to share.

Originally pointed from

The title: "Washington Times Columnist: Liberals Using Michael Sam To Distract From Benghazi"

Yes, someone has actually made a string-of-turds linking Michael Sam to Benghhaaaaaaahziiii!!1!, and he is parading around in them like he is wearing crown jewels.

To shift metaphor gears without a clutch, there is no extrusion from the Fear Word / Power Word piping bag of Wingnut Jazz that
the base will not descend upon and devour like hungry pigs.


Anonymous said...

Who made you put that awesome Photoshop of Lindsey on your blog? Hmmmmmm? Was it, oh, I don't know...............
SATAN????? :-D

Dave M

gratuitous said...

OMG! If we don't continue to burn huge piles of money, the United States will just totally collapse! Any cuts to defense will gut the military, lay the U.S. wide open to attack, invasion and subjugation by godless hordes of dark-skinned maniacs, and . . . Sen. Graham? Why are you breathing so heavily? Do you need a moment alone in the Senate Cloakroom?