Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sunday Morning Comin' Down

H/T Tengrain for the story of the day:

There is no "debate" here: there is one side that is right, and one side that is criminally, treasonously wrong and putting them on stage together and treating them as equally valid points of view only serves the interests of the deniers.

Unfortunately in this Universe access to our electronic public square is zealously guarded by millionaire meatpuppets like David Gregory, and so, on "Meet the Press" -- a show which has devoted, oh, let's say 11 seconds to climate change coverage in the last five years -- Exxon/Mobile Puppet Theater is what we get instead of actual news and actual debate. 

However over in the Better Universe, the problem of David Gregory was dealt with years ago by the Department of Poetic Justice.

One day they just gave up trying to reason with him and duct taped him to a chair.

Then his ribs were broken.  One at a time.  With a ball-peen hammer.  On camera.

And as each rib shattered the Department of Poetic Justice had a "Rib Breakage Denialist" on hand to argue the other side of the issue.

As Mr. Gregory shrieked in pain, the DPJ representative patiently explained how the downward pressure of hammers often does not result in rib-breakage at all so there goes all your fancy science out the window Mr. Smartypants!

As Mr. Gregory coughed up blood,  the DPJ representative calmly countered that all of Mr. Gregory's so-called "pain" and "injury" might very well be something that he was making up (Perhaps for some of that sweet-sweet rib-breakage science grant money!)

As Mr. Gregory begged for it to stop, DPJ representative reminded everyone tsk-tsk-tskily of how reckless and irresponsible it would be to take action or pass laws based on one man's "hypothesis or theories or unproven science" about the breaking of ribs.

But that was over in the Better Universe.

Back here where we live I am quite confident that Mr. Gregory and everyone like him will continue to be allowed -- nay, encouraged -- to ply their trade and destroy any semblance of intelligent public discourse on behalf of their corporate owners for many, many years to come.  And so this Sunday on American's premier public interest program, we were treated to Actual Republican Representative Marsha Blackburn oscillate between insisting that climate change is: --
  1. Not real, so shut up!
  2. Real, but inevitable and there isn't nuthin' nobody can do anyway.
  3. Real but Beneficial because Carbon is Awesome!
-- all while never losing her big, excreted-human-carbon-waste-product-eating-grin.

Meanwhile, Chuckles the Clown begs Americans to please stop making the Right look stupid by "debating" this stuff.  After all what fucking difference does it who's right and who's wrong as long NBC's sponsors don't catch any of the blame and the American taxpayer picks up the tab for making sure Chuckle's wine cellar isn't flooded:
MR. TODD: Well, it is-- 41 billion, I think that you get at this 41 billion-dollar weather events in 2013 around the world. 41 of them, that was an all-time record. And that is-- I think it’s not just Podesta that believes that. There are a lot of people that say okay, let’s not debate who’s right, manmade or is it just nature that’s happening. The fact of the matter, it’s happening. And I wonder if there’s too much-- you know, I know some environmentalists are frustrated with that portion of the debate. But maybe you steer away from it and say, it doesn’t matter. We have to tackle this infrastructure problem. You got to build different higher seawalls in some places. We’re going to have to figure out a different way to distribute water in California. The fact of the matter-- and the Federal government is going to have to pay for this.


MR. TODD: And pay for all these things. And so I wonder if everybody should say, you know what? Let’s table this debate. We know what’s happening. Table that part of the debate because when you do that, then it becomes this like clubbing each other with-- with-- with political argument that takes away from what we have to do.

There were plenty of other horrors at The Mouse Circus today, just as there are every Sunday, but this one I wanted to out of my head and onto a page before I started laughing a very scary laugh only to find that I could not stop until I set fire to my laptop and drop-kicked my teevee into the next county.

Around the horn:


toma said...

4 minutes, that's how long I lasted. Then the rage. Marsha has quite the shit-eating grin.

Monster from the Id said...

"...criminally, treasonously wrong..."

I accept the reality of Anthropogenic Global Warming, but I must disapprove strenuously of the idea of criminalizing unacceptance of AGW.

That's getting into totalitarian territory, the way David Atkins does in his scarier moments.

Pinkybum said...

@Monster - it wouldn't be "...criminally, treasonously wrong..." if it were only lone voices in the wilderness that were shrieking this garbage and if congress was taking some action. But the majority party in the House of Representatives is ruled by the crazies on the extreme right so nothing is getting done.

tmk said...

"There were plenty of other horrors at The Mouse Circus today, just as there are every Sunday, but this one I wanted to out of my head and onto a page before I started laughing a very scary laugh only to find that I could not stop until I set fire to my laptop and drop-kicked my teevee into the next county."


And here I thought I was the only one having those urges...


Horace Boothroyd III said...


That's getting into totalitarian territory, the way David Atkins does in his scarier moments.

That is a thought provoking statement, given the very real importance of stopping the AGW denialists, and I will remember it when I need to moderate my own statements.

On a happier note, some guy who is a big shot in his local county political machine - and he has a blog, don't you forget it - is not likely to accumulate enough power to make his totalitarian impulses dangerous.

And any good kossack will tell you that it is OK to entertain violent thoughts against your political opponents and to treat them harshly so long as you are really, really sure that you are correct.

In conclusion, if any of Atkins's spies are sneaking about: I know that this is true because I asked them, and they told me, so don't bother.

Anonymous said...

I made it through the whole Nye debate.
It's the second Nye debate in so many weeks.

I love you, Bill Nye the Seattle Science Guy. You were a local hero since your hackkneyed halcyon days on Almost Live.

You inspired us.

You still inspire me.

...but stop it. You look like Mr. Spock. You say logical one more time and they're going to beam you up.

I think you may only be doing these things for publicity. Both for your own falling star and for insanely correct subjects of science for which we all should agree with you.

But please, whatever the reason, stop. You're tarnishing you're incredible résumé when you give FaceTime to a fucking nitwit like mrs. Whateverhernamewasandwhocaresanyway (R) TN.

Sincerely Ric, from the land of Mick Dodge.

Rehctaw said...

I deeply appreciate your capacity to continue on with this important work. Beyond the insipidy of "debates" devoid of actual experts on the subject, beyond the ball-less, spineless, rule-book averse ringmasters of these sideshow farces, far beyond the incongruous, ingenuous, untethered framing of what is and is not germane to the topic, the wonderous, lumberous realm of smug, teevee punditology weathervanes presented as meaningful discussion perpetuates the near-cultist dominance of our disinformation society.

On the too rare occasions when an actual pertinent fact is put forth and successfully defended, we can count on the etch-a-sketch brigade to ignore or disremember it all before the "word from our sponsors" pixels have dissolved back to the roundtable of bullshit.

War is peace, bullshit is gospel, facts do not exist...

I no longer have a frame of reference for the better universe.
All is lost. I am too far from any reasonable safe-zone from which to observe the implosion and make comment.
The abyss seems final.