Monday, November 11, 2013

There. Is. No. Tea. Party. -- Part 27,877

Abbie Someone.

Solve this terrible article from "The Daily Beast" for "X" where "X" is "The Tea Party".
How the Tea Party’s Apocalyptic Politics Are Destroying the Republican Party

by Joe McLean Nov 11, 2013 5:45 AM EST

Tea Party leaders view themselves as modern prophets of the end of times, ratcheting up their rhetoric to prove that Obama is evil and God is on their side.

Want to know why the Tea Party so eager to grievously wound the Republican Party? The answer is as simple as it is counterintuitive: its leaders view themselves as modern prophets of the apocalypse.
Dear Joe,

I will keep this real simple.

There. Is. No.  Tea.  Party.

See how easy that it!

There are only (as I have now repeated approximately 27,877 times since 2009)
...Those fucknozzles who, after giving Dubya the longest tongue bath in modern political history while calling everyone else a traitor, started gagging on the sheer tonnage of bullshit their creepy idolatry of George W. Bush was requiring them to swallow and obediently regurgitate every fucking day, that's who.
Most newly minted “independents” seem to be little more than Republicans who are fleeing the scene of their crime, but at the same time still desperately want believe in the inerrant wisdom of Rush Limbaugh. They are completely incapable of facing the horrifying reality that that they have gotten every single major political opinion and decision of their adult lives completely wrong, so instead they double-down on their hatred of women and/or gays and/or brown people and/or Liberals, and blame them for the miserable fuckpit their leaders and their policies have made of their live and futures.

Like German soldiers after the fall of Berlin, they have stopped running away from the catastrophe they created only long enough to burn their uniforms.
Solving for "X" where "X" is "The Tea Party", it is impossible for the "The Tea Party" to grievously wound the Republican Party because the "Tea Party" is the Republican Party, and has been for most of the last 40 years.

All that has changed is the greasy fascists who built a Republican electoral battering ram out of degenerates, demagogues, bigots, anti-science bible-thumpers and assorted other dregs of Western Civilization GOP base (and who spent most of the last 40 years pretending their batshit base did not exist, and that anyone who suggested otherwise was an alarmist Commie) have finally lost control over the beast they created.

Despite ample and repeated warnings, the ruling caste of the Party of Personal Responsibility went ahead and put that rotting, abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide gorilla. And now the monster they never should have made in the first place is whamming the shit out of them... 

 ...while an army of elite media Both Siders like Doris Kearns Goodwin sharts themselves in terror that some imaginary hippie somewhere might be doing something equally terrible... 

...and while the ruling caste of the Party of Personal Responsibility and the army of elite media Both Siders both make a Very Conspicuous Show of ignoring the hell out of the same people who have been right about the Right all along.

This is by far the biggest, most important story in political journalism today.

It's too bad we don't have a press corps that has any interest in reporting it.


Mr. Bob said...

Doris Kearns Goodwin = plagiarist

Anonymous said...

"... sharts themselves in terror ..." f'n hillarious drifty!