The Legacy of Benedict XVI

Um.

Uh.

How about his first foray into Teh Email? (From April 2005):

Do NOT give this man your credit card number.

And no, he has no sexy younger sister in a prison in Spain.

I saw this...

Pope Benedict XVI Gets E-Mail Address

By Associated PressPublished April 21, 2005, 8:44 AM CDT

VATICAN CITY --

"Got a prayer or a problem for the new pope? Now you can e-mail him. Showing that Pope Benedict XVI intends to follow in the footsteps of John Paul II's multimedia ministry, the Vatican on Thursday modified its Web site so that users who click on an icon on the home page automatically activate an e-mail composer with his address. In English, the address is benedictxvi@vatican.va. In Italian: benedettoxvi@vatican.va.

Vatican spokesmen could not immediately be reached for comment on how many messages Benedict may have received already... "

So how in the name of all that is Holy could I have possibly stopped myself from writing this:

FROM: Pope Benedict XVI

E-MAIL: benedictxvi@vatican.va

BUSINESS PROPOSAL

ATTN: PRESIDENT/CEO,

My name is Pope Benedict XVI, head of a Major Religion

as well as head of a Task Force on Priest Pedophilia Clean-up.

As you might have read, late last Century there was a major

outbreak of Priest Pedophilia in the United States Region of

North America which rendered over 70% of our Dogma ludicrous.

The cleanup/cover-up was handled by a Vatican Firm but because

of the huge monetary amounts involved we decided to

over-invoice the contract sum.

Now the cover-up has been completed and the original

contractor has since been paid, but the contract

balance of US$38 million, which resulted from the over

invoiced contract sum that has been left in a suspense

account with the BANCO AMBROSIANO of ITALY, is

what me and my partners are planning to take out of the

coffers for ourselves. The problem is as Princes of the Church,

we are not suppose to own fat bank accounts, much less talk of

having foreign ones.

To this end, we are soliciting your assistance as a

foreign partner who can assist us and receive this

amount into your account. We are ready to share this

money with you on the basis of participation. We also

have plans to invest part of this money in any viable

business in your country under your care, as although we

are only recently installed, we are nonetheless also

nearing our retirement age.

In any case, I got your contact through network on

line hence decided to write you if you can assist us on

this transaction. Please if you accept my proposal do

not hesitate to send me an e-mail on:

benedictxvi@vatican.va, so that I can provide you

with the basic procedures for the release of the fund.

It does not matter whether you or your company does

Pedophilic Cover-ups of the nature described here, the

assumption is that you won a major contract and

subcontracted it to another company, more often than

not, big trading companies or individuals of unrelated

field win major contracts here in ITALY and

subcontracts same to more specialized firms for execution.

BENEFIT: For providing the account where we shall

remit this money, you will be entitled to 25% of the

entire funds, 70% will be for me and my partners, while

5% has been set aside to cover any expenses that may

be incurred by both parties during this transaction,

both local and international.

Please I enjoin you to handle this transaction with

utmost degree of maturity and confidentiality because,

although Infallable on matters of Doctine, I am still liable

for Administrative matters as head of the Church of Christ.

If I receive your response on time, this whole transaction

could be accomplished within the shortest possible

time based on your interest and determination, since

the money is already in transit.

Please, if you are capable and willing to participate in

this transaction, don`t forget to reach me with my e-mail

address soonest. Alternatively Feel free to call me on my

private telephone line at the VATICAN OFFICE OF SPECIAL

INQUIRY soon as you received this mail.

The lines may be busy, but keep trying till you get through.

Yours Infallably,

Benedict XVI (Papal Nuncio).