David Brooks: Still Fucking That Centrist Chicken

In case you didn't hear, President Obama gave a very fine speech today.  Muscular, soaring,  annealed with history and moral authority.

And in its shadow, Mr. Brooks couldn't unfurl his "Both Sides Do It" freak flag to full staff. Wouldn't be humble, don'tcha know:

The best Inaugural Addresses make an argument for something. President Obama’s second one, which surely has to rank among the best of the past half-century, makes an argument for a pragmatic and patriotic progressivism. 

His critics have sometimes accused him of being an outsider, but Obama wove his vision from deep strands in the nation’s past. He told an American story that began with the Declaration and then touched upon the railroad legislation, the Progressive Era, the New Deal, the highway legislation, the Great Society, Seneca Falls, Selma and Stonewall.

But since Mr. Brooks' Centrism is like unto Vampirism in that if he does not feed constantly --  if he doesn't wedge some insipid, fact-free Centrist claptrap into every single thing he says and writes every single day -- he will burst into flames and disappear in a puff of Broderian stink, we also get this:

Obama made his case beautifully. He came across as a prudent, nonpopulist progressive. But I’m not sure he rescrambled the debate. We still have one party that talks the language of government and one that talks the language of the market. We have no party that is comfortable with civil society, no party that understands the ways government and the market can both crush and nurture community, no party with new ideas about how these things might blend together.

You can almost hear the tears in Mr. Brooks' voice as he chokes up for the lost opportunity.

Oh if only President Obama had carefully counterbalanced each word eloquently spoken about the power of and critical necessity for collective action with another word about the  merits of individual enterprise and the practical limits of government. 

If only the President had taken the opportunity to say something like this today!

Together, we determined that a modern economy requires railroads and highways to speed travel and commerce; schools and colleges to train our workers. 

If only...

Together, we discovered that a free market only thrives when there are rules to ensure competition and fair play. 

If only...

Together, we resolved that a great nation must care for the vulnerable, and protect its people from life's worst hazards and misfortune. 

If only...

Through it all, we have never relinquished our skepticism of central authority, nor have we succumbed to the fiction that all society's ills can be cured through government alone. Our celebration of initiative and enterprise; our insistence on hard work and personal responsibility, are constants in our character.

If only...

We know that America thrives when every person can find independence and pride in their work; when the wages of honest labor liberate families from the brink of hardship. We are true to our creed when a little girl born into the bleakest poverty knows that she has the same chance to succeed as anybody else, because she is an American, she is free, and she is equal, not just in the eyes of God but also in our own.

If only...

We understand that outworn programs are inadequate to the needs of our time. We must harness new ideas and technology to remake our government, revamp our tax code, reform our schools, and empower our citizens with the skills they need to work harder, learn more, and reach higher. But while the means will change, our purpose endures: a nation that rewards the effort and determination of every single American. That is what this moment requires. That is what will give real meaning to our creed.

If only.


UPDATE: 

In what will come as absolutely no surprise to anyone outside of Sally Quinn's tight circle of parlor austerity trolls, Dean Baker notes that Mr. Brooks also screws the pooch on basic debt arithmetic "David Brooks Trouble With Arithmetic Leads Him Astray Again "

For those keeping score at home, Mr. Brooks is now failing at history, science, math, current events and foreign languages.  Which, inside Sally Quinn's tight circle of parlor austerity trolls,  will not affect his final grade in the slightest as long as he continues to excel at creative short fiction and apple polishing.