Above is a video depicting what it looks like once the GOP Clown Car air conditioner finally breaks down once and for all and they start to turn on each other.
First, of course, comes the mandatory contempt for anyone who thinks that caring about one's fellow citizens is anything but the vanguard of the Sekrit Commie overthrow of the Untied States...delivered by two of the biggest wingnut welfare queens in history:
Hannity: Can you believe the Keynan Usurper is all "concerned" about "common ground" and shit?
Malkin: "Common ground"? Ha! What an asshole!
Hannity: A dirty Commie asshole.
Malkin: Liberty!
Hannity: Liberty indeed.
After which we zoom right in on Michele Malkin's seething contempt for those awful Beltway collaborators who just can't stand against the tidal wave of Money Boo-Boo's fuckups anymore:
Hannity: And speaking of dirty, Commie backstabbers, what about Peggy Noonan and Even David Brooks?
Malkin: Some people have no brand loyalty!
And there -- right there -- is the heart of Willard Romney’s political polygamy problem.
To beat the Kenyan Usurper, Romney must woo and win two wives at once: Little Red State Fundy nuts like Malkin who believe Their Glorious Moment has finally arrived and that Mittens had better goddamn well move their shoutycrackers nonsense to the top of his agenda...and professional Beltway GOP hothouse flowers like Peggy Noonan who are horrified that anyone would be stupid enough to speak talk about Little Red State Fundy's batshit Bircher drivel in public.
The problem is, both of Willard Romney's brides-to-be are in the same room. At the same time. And unfortunately, not only do each of Willard intendeds deeply hate the other, but each each really, really hates him -- loudly and on-camera -- every time he appears to be siding with the other.
They each want to be Willard's one-and-only, openly declared in some loud, proud, act of televised political monogamy. Willard, on the other hand, needs them both to be dutiful, supportive, co-equal sister-wives who do what they are told and who shut the fuck up about family business in public.
This irresolvable tension has the effect of not only dividing everyone inside the GOP clown car into ever-smaller, shriller cliques, but also making Romney look incredibly weak and hen-pecked. It deeply diminishes him, and this time around the track, the usual Conservative method of keeping family fights in the family
just ain't working.
+++++++
Also, "First Draft" -- one of the genuine stalwarts of the "Blog like you fucking mean it" school -- is having a fundraiser. "First Draft" is one of my regular reads, and Athenae is a friend of mine in the Real World. Swing on by and kick 'em a few bills if you're able.
3 comments:
"...Hannity: And speaking of dirty, Commie backstabbers, what about Peggy Noonan and Even David Brooks?"
wow DG you finally did it: I've long been conditioned not to drink coffee/etc at my computer while reading TBogg & other humor-bloggers, due to the expected uncontrolled outbursts of laughter. But you've finally gotten to me too: "Even Mitt Romney" as his full & proper name.. hit me with complete & total surprise.
And now I have fruit juice to clean off my monitor & out of my keyboard. Thanks a lot.
:-)
- mike from CA
Your framing of Mitt Romney's problem as being akin to a polygamist trying to keep multiple wives happy was great. But don't underestimate his ultimate ability to, if not fully satisfy them, at least make them happy enough to stick with him rather than leave for the unknown. The American public's memory is way too short, and the political shaft is way too long.
You know, Drifty, a comment in the link to a past post mentions Rmoney will say anything to get elected. This gives me an idea for a simple Photoshop image:
The iconic image of John Cusack holding up the boombox with Romney's head on it.
Seems apropos to me...
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