The Reign of Rahmses -- Part 1

As the national media mothswarm flits towards the glittery light of the Chicago Teacher's strike, I thought it might be helpful for beginners to reprint selected portions of my award-adjacent 2010 series, "The Lessons of Rahmses".

Today's Lessons...

Lesson Ten:
 

Public Service in a post-Daley Chicago:

Da secret?

You gotta work hard.

You gotta be ready for mobs of hungry clout-zombies™ who want to eat your brains.

But mostly, you gotta love it!

And by "it" I mean stabbin' people.

In the neck.

With pencils.

Background via "The Beachwood Reporter" (comes with video, so it's fun for the whole family!)

A County Clout List
By Dane Placko

"FOX Chicago News obtained a copy of a 'clout list' showing who landed jobs funded by a federal disaster grant. The list details who in county government sponsored the employees and contains information about friends and family already working at Cook County.
...
"The list contains the names of 31 people who got jobs or contracts funded by the disaster grant. Written in hand beside many of the names are notations such as 'father and uncle with county,' 'Andrea's brother,' or 'uncle in highway.'"
...

And Lesson Four:

Budgets (and how to balance them):

The power of your clout is a cheap magicians trick. Fire me 100 million dollars worth of staff by 9:00 AM tomorrow or I'll stab you in the fuckin' neck with a fuckin' pencil.

Next!

Backgound:

For those of you not from here, let me explain a little about clout.

Clout in Chicago is a funny thing.

It is exactly like any other currency, but however many hands it passes through, for the last 22 years this particular coin of the realm was ultimately backed by the full faith and credit of the person of Richard M. Daley and by your proximity to him.

Clout, like any other currency (More here in "Privilege Has Its Memberships"),

is fungible, can earn interest and can be used to pay off debts and acquire things.

But unlike other currencies, on Hizzoner's last day, a lot of the existing clout will become as worthless as a fistful of Confederate scrip after Appomattox, so right now the clock is running and inside the city government a whole lot of people above a certain pay-grade are scrambling to cash in or trade off their Daleybucks before the Daleyland Amusement Park closes forever and reopens as a hard-labor poultry farm or scrapple cannery under new management. (Below that pay-grade, a lot of the layoff-whipsawed survivors of the last, few, frantic years are laughing grimly as they watch their bosses being pushed into the same shark-infested risk pool they've been swimming in since 2007.)

The starkest public example of the effect of radical clout devaluation is the case of Da Mare's wunderkind, Ron Huberman.

A few, short years ago, as the stink from the Hired Truck scandal threatened to sink Hizzoner, Huberman (who had been working in the cop-shop setting up the city's surveillance system) was suddenly catapulted from virtual obscurity to Daley's Chief of Staff; arguably the second most powerful position in the City, and one which Huberman wielded like a meat axe.

The long-term results of his tenure have been fairly unimpressive, but he arrived in a big enough flash and left in a big enough hurry that for a long time no one noticed that he hadn't really done much of anything.

Except, of course, save Da Mare's political sausage. And that buys you a line of credit from the 5th floor of City Hall longer than a Cub's World Series losing streak.

And so from Chief of Staff, Daley rotated Huberman quickly and with great fanfare over to the job running the Transit Authority.

A job he performed...for about 11 minutes. (Understand that running Chicago's vast public transportation system is a job that people actually go to school and spend years getting degrees and stuff just to have a shot at: Daley treated it as a political crash pad where his Fair Haired Boy could hang out and stay on salary until more permanent digs could be prepared for him.)

From there -- completely ignoring everything he had said about the vital necessity of having Huberman personally salvage Chicago's massive and screwed up transit system -- Daley then rotated him (once again quickly and with great fanfare) over to the job of the Chicago Public Schools CEO: running Chicago's massive and screwed up public education system.

To Hell with bringing in education experts from other cities, states or countries, we were told: according to Richard Daley, Ron Huberman -- who had no background in education reform whatsoever -- was the only human being on the face of the Earth up to the monumental task of saving Chicago's 435,000 school kids from anarchy and failure.

Without Huberman they were doomed.

But with Huberman they might be saved!

Yay!

Then Da Mare announced he wasn't running again.

Then, 11 minutes later...

Huberman To Resign as CEO

CTU Would Like To See Educational Leader as Replacement

By NADA SHAMAH

Chicago Public School CEO Ron Huberman shocked many when he announced his early resignation.

Huberman will be exiting office on Monday, Nov. 29 because he says he wants to spend more time with his family.

The Chicago Teacher’s Union says it is working hard to find the right replacement for Huberman.

...

CPS recently announced that it is estimating a $700 million deficit for next school year.

The state of Illinois owes CPS $164 million and is late on $206 million for this year.

...

Which -- if we are to believe any of the soaringly belligerent, defensive rhetoric Daley deployed when he announced Huberman's CPS appointment to a stunned city in the first place -- I guess means consigning Chicago's 435,000 school kids to anarchy and failure.

Tough luck, kids.

But as you prepare for your bleak, Hubermanless futures, learn this important Chicago political lesson: this is what happens when money runs out, the Clout Circus folds up its tents and the ringmaster skips town.

Suddenly the clowns all start heading for the exits fast, because without the Circus and the Ringmaster and all the Clout Circus Calliope hoopla that only money can buy, people start to notice very quickly that the clowns aren't funny anymore.

Tomorrow's lessons will cover how to be Da Boss and the perils of fighting legends.