Hey look, it's David Brooks!
Hey look, it's Bay Buchanan!
Hey look, it's Joe Scarborough!
Hey look, it's Ann Fucking Coulter! On a major network political teevee show! For the third time this year!
Hey look, it's me dying a little more inside!
Honestly, you don't have to worry about "This Week with George Stephanopoulos" anymore. For the third time this year -- without apology or explanation -- George Robert Stephanopoulos has used his position as the anchor of one America's most highly rated political talk shows to put slandering wingnut welfare gorgon Ann Coulter on the public airwaves. Sadly, Mr.
Stephanopoulos did not put her on camera as a cautionary tale or object of derision. Instead, he presented her to America once again as a "Conservative pundit" cloaked in all the credibility his name and network could lend her, and thus -- like any other thrice-convicted public masturbator -- forfeits his right to be taken seriously about anything.
In other words, The Gingrich Rules were in full effect.
Regular readers know the drill (from me in June, 2012):
Regular readers know the drill (from me in June, 2012):
...
If your idea of biting-into-aluminum thrill-seeking is peeping through the curtains of a post-apocalyptic abattoir-cum-knocking shop after closing time to see what sorts of slithery, unnatural things clamber up from the basement in the gloaming hours, then the Mouse Circus was the place for you Sunday for one reason: Ann Coulter.
Ms. Coulter makes her way in the world by plying her one, very specific skill: scuttling from one microphone to the next, wrapping herself around it like a hagged-out "Alien" face-hugger, ramming her screechy, Conservative ovipositor into her audience's ears and laying her loathsome eggs in their skulls.
And most of the time, there she remains...skittering around and around the wingnut welfare circuit over and over again from Hate Radio to Fox teevee, with an annual stop at Regnery press feeding trough to extrude books like "Demonic: How the Liberal Mob Is Endangering America", "Godless: The Church of Liberalism", "Treason: Liberal Treachery From the Cold War to the War on Terrorism" and so forth...day after day offering the same gnarly, bile-soaked handjobs to the same imbeciles in the back alleys on the wrong side of town...
...until the day comes -- as it inevitably does -- when the big, air-conditioned, network teevee limo sighs to a stop next to her, pops the door open and offers her another chance to take her freakshow uptown.
Usually such Sunday morning outreaches to the mutant hellbeast community are done by David Gregory, but at least once a year, George Stephanopolous steps up to pay down the vig on whatever unholy debt the mutant hellbeast community is holding over his head.
...
And speaking of "Meet the Press", for sheer train-wreck theatricality, it would be hard to beat Bay Buchanan's dead doll-eye-stare, obsessive raptor-talon-flexing and (literally) panting rage as she bulldozed a straight line right off the edge of the world, because it was three wholly different kids of fun.
First, the idea of Pat Buchanan's batshit sister being decanted and rolled out as a paid Romney troll on America's most highly-rated network political talk show is just hilarious in and of itself. Second, actually watching her mental stick-shift lock up and leave her unable to present any dimension except "snarling, snapping lunatic liar" was Big Fun too. And third, it was Very Big Fun indeed to see the look on David Brooks' face as the constraints of the format forced him to treat Ms. Buchanan's unhinged Bag Lady MacBeth performance with a kind of horrified, congealed collegiality instead of the way I imagine he usually deals with such raving unpleasantness: by flicking a quarter at it and sprinting for his car.
Which, in a way, made Sunday's "Meet the Press" a perfect specimen for future generations to study when they try to understand why the United States had a complete nervous breakdown during the last few decades of the 20th Century and the first few decades of the 21st:
Bay Buchanan on "Meet the Press" arguing with Joe Scarborough and David Brooks about how Conservatives don't get enough time on teevee.
10 comments:
I warned you long ago about the Stinkinpopulis.
My guess is that the smell coming from today's "show" will repel any hoped-for future guests of integrity and intelligence.
But I could be wrong.
As usual.
Love you guys!
S
Awesome rant, DG, one of your best, imho. I especially enjoyed the nervous breakdown analogy. Enjoy: http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/M/1/3/limbaugh-coulter-child-apocalypse.jpg
From the banner of another very good progressive blog by another very good writer (http://hammeroftheblogs.blogspot.com/), quoting yet another very good writer:
"The corporate grip on opinion in the United States is one of the wonders of the Western world. No First World country has ever managed to eliminate so entirely from its media all objectivity - much less dissent."
-- Gore Vidal
You'll like this one:
http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/heather/snl-mocks-undecided-voter
"Low-Information Voters is responsible for the content of this advertizing."
It got to where I took a sad, masochistic pleasure out of watching Bay, without saying a fucking thing, manage to win almost every argument she got into with the dolts CNN would line up to oppose her: Begala, Brazile et al. She was bottled up (thank you for ``decanted'': perfect) once the Cheneys left office, and so it was a sign of sheer desperation that the was rolled out to spin the 47% fiascadebacle. She was THE best at mastering the neocon morning memo and delivering it in the afternoon.
I don't know if anyone has suggested this to you yet (I don't read every post-n-comment every day) but in your quest to find out who books these bitches and bastards for the Hangover Morning squawk shows, have you done any due diligence sniffing around TV industry blogs/tweets? You know (being a participant) how everybody blogs about everything in their lives these days. And participants in the me-Me-ME! media world are probably more likely than others to waft their every little brain-fart onto teh Internets tubez. In your unfortunately underemployed state, and with your zeal for hunting down these monsters, I bet you could sleuth out the forums where the hack-enablers chatter amongst themselves.
Otherwise, I haz a sad that you spend so many hours of your life looking at Cunter, Bukkkanan and Dancin' Dave. (Whenever his wizening face pops on my screen -- we still watch MSNBC sometimes, although my wife and I spend way more time with RT TV on our set -- I envision your Photoshop of his face on Jane Fonda's bendy-body.) I'd rather use that time using an emery board to file my toenails or ANYTHING other than watching Sunday panel programs, but you must be into it, so knock yourself out.
Yeaaaaah, I'd rather knock myself unconscious that watch that shit. That'd be cool.
How the hell can they sit there and let Buchanan say stupid ass shit like "We have a nation heading to bankruptcy?" Why didn't someone ask Scarborough every time he brought out his "a rising tide lifts all boats" line why there are so many boats stranded on the beaches while others are loaded up with money headed to the Caymans?
You kind of get the sense that Dancin Dave and Snuffleupagus are in mortal terror that the horse race is slipping away. So they have to dip deep in to the tool box of crazy/stupid to make it interesting again.
I have been DVRing Chris Hayes and Melisa Perry both Sat. and Sunday...and then just watching them on Sunday mornings. Why MSNBC crams both these shows together at un godly hours is some kind of stupid torture.
Anyway..it has been a couple of years since I have been able to stand watching the traditional Sabbath Gasbags...just cant muster up the anger management skills for it anymore.
If I remember correctly, "Ann of the Adams Apple" was the straw that broke that camels back. She spewed something that brought me this close to "doing the Elvis" with my teevee...and I am way too broke to replace major appliances these days..
..but, hey..Fossil Bob had Bill on...
And speaking of "Meet the Press", for sheer train-wreck theatricality, it would be hard to beat Bay Buchanan's dead doll-eye-stare, obsessive raptor-talon-flexing and (literally) panting rage
Oh, hell yes. The frenetic hand gestures, the audible inhales, the utter disengagement from reality. She actually said, on actual national television:
We are in a dead heat. Nationally, we have two polls showing a dead heat, a tie. And the momentum is ours. You see that the gov-- the president’s numbers have come down. Mitt Romney’s numbers are coming up. Our polls and other polls out here have-- have the one state after another, these close states, swing states, as a dead heat or within the margin of error so-- so this is where we are.
GREGORY: No need for a turn-around?
MS. BUCHANAN: No, we-- we need to-- listen, we are five weeks out. And we’re in a dead heat against the president of the United States
Now, that there is some kick-ass, world-class, Hitler-in-the-bunker detachment from reality...
Jesus. I'm glad my stomach was empty.
Brooks, Buchanan(s), Scarborough, Ann Fucking—and dozens more unnamed here— all peculiar parasites long purged from my sensory alimentary canal, and I'm meticulous about keeping them out; your awesome rants the occasionally indulged in single exception.
I do grok brother Bukko Cunukko's sad; I long to see your genius unleashed and aimed at the event horizon, to perhaps become a literary talisman of progressive truth to power.
It's not poetic accident you depict these bipedal vermin clawing their way up the base-ment stairs; they belong there, and it's time to bar the door.
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